Philosophy and Knives
Updated: Feb 7
(Disclaimer: This is a dark article, so please consider whether or not you wish to read it all. I'm not responsible for your reactions. If you are in distress, contact a mental health professional, not me).
(Another note: The following article can be regarded as a sequel to this one.)
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It is hard for me to see others living without pondering the purpose of their existence. If everyone would do so on a regular basis, even if it's just as a routine, there would not be a need to separate philosophers from the rest of mankind.
I see myself as a philosopher not for the exclusive sake of distinction, but, more importantly, to feel that I still have a reason to live. Thus, I am a philosopher because I don't want to die, even though I only fear death very little.
It is hard for me to go with the "natural" flow of things. It just doesn't feel meaningful enough to avoid death. While death can be prevented, it can still arrive at any given moment. What would one think before dying? What would be their final thought?
If one's life has been worthless, then why didn't the person change the course of things? As long as one is free to do as they please, they can choose to make their limited lifespan as meaningful as possible.
That way, in the last moments of dying, even if painful, it could be a bit peaceful, like after a hearty meal. That bit of life, even if short, is ultimately the end that has justified the means. The means through a life that has truly been well lived. Not just a chore you do because living is the norm, and suicide is frowned upon.
I know how to use a knife, you see, for self-defense. Logically, I can also use it to.. you know. I can do it at any moment. The reason why I very much refuse to do so is because the work has yet to be done. Far from being completed, even. I don't know what you have in your apartment, but I have a knife that I look at every time I wake up. I'm not suicidal, because I refuse to kill myself. It's because I still have things to do. Things that justify my existence in my eyes, and that justification is philosophizing. Other than that, I see little reason to live peacefully. (2023 Note: Philosophers might attract a toxic crowd. That is why the sacrifice of some peace should be worth the effort of a contribution. Worth to oneself or others... Better both).
I don't want to be like the "common" man or woman. It isn't to say that I am not a commoner myself. I'm just deeply unsatisfied with what the "common" life has in store for me. Would you want to live a life you don't want to live? Then why do you keep living them, when you can, technically, cease to exist? Cease and, thus, free yourself from your current existence? I am not an advocate of suicide at all! But whenever I look at my knife, I know what I can do with it. It's whenever I ignore it, that I choose to live another day.
The reason I am not afraid of suicide is this. Should the worth of a life be questionable beyond whatever can be done to improve it, there is always the possibility of killing oneself. Some people may call you egotistical or ungrateful. But in the end, it is for the most part one's choice whether to "resume" or to "exit".
I'm not justifying suicide. I'm just saying that one's life is one's property, ultimately. Is it someone's business to interfere with the coloring of your car without your permission? As long as it's yours, you can design it however you want. Even sell it if desired. It is a property within your ownership unless you have a guardian, are in the military, or have any other exception.
If people were constantly doubting the reasoning behind their existence as it is currently, then there would be less of a need to distinguish between the two. Between the "common" people and the philosophers.
That distinction is not a display of superiority or arrogance. It is simply to show you, how unsatisfied you need to be, in order to philosophize. People don't necessarily philosophize for the fun of it. Some of them may seek to justify their place in this world.
Those who do not have questions to ask, are not seekers. Those who love something, like wisdom, are obviously seeking it. For love is commonly a quest of attainment, of "conquest". Since not all seek it, not all are philosophers or other kinds of intellectuals, use their intellect to justify their existence. (2023 Note: By "justifying one's existence," I refer to finding or creating a purpose for yourself).
I wish no one would ever die because they have philosophized, but in the end, philosophizing is imperative for those who are unsatisfied with their existence in the world. It is a risk, indeed, but a risk worth taking if you wish to optimally realize the potential of your life.
Death may be eternal, but at least you won the "race" of birth by being born. Imagine the rest of the other seeds, and perhaps those who did not make it through pregnancy. I myself could've had more brothers, but they didn't make it. Being born, therefore, is a bit of a "privilege", as birth is a process that does not always succeed.
Spend it wisely, before it is too late. Surely it is your decision to live life as you please, but at least remind yourself, that even the most intense of pleasures could be ultimately seen as regrettable.
I think with that, I shall end my Hermit Mode, even though it lasted only a few days. It is hard for me, to be idle too much. Some of you might clearly understand.
