By accepting the inevitability of conflict and suffering, not negatively, with sorrow and unfortune, but positively, with open arms, even, in the name of increasing our strength, resilience and endurance -- you'll find it easier dealing with the inevitable possibilities of conflicts, while being able, as well, to seize the benefit they can bring, such as gaining more maturity, more confidence and so forth. As long as you're amongst civilization, interpersonal conflicts are always possible to an extant.
How will it help being all miserable because of an inevitable adversity? How can one’s self-pity help them cope with adversity and with societal struggles? We are taught to disdain discomfort and hope for it to go away, so we will experience pleasure and ease once more. However - if the uncomfortable situation is already present, and there is, in this period of life, nothing to do about it whatsoever for it to go away from our lives - what’s the point of preserving counter-productive mindsets, instead of extracting the lemon juice out of the different lemons, life throws at us?
While I seek to live a life of optimal serenity - when I am well aware that something very uncomfortable, such as an involuntary adversity, is here to stay for a long time - then I am also aware there is no point for my general ambition, when my ambition becomes more of a hindrance, than an asset, that can be useful and beneficial in helping me not only cope, but to grow, as well.
I have an annoying neighbor that by their, apparently, inherit nature, they are aggressive and hostile, even towards their own kids. Since they are probably not going to move to a different place anytime soon, I believe I am forced for the both of us to struggle, even though I heard them saying, numerous times, that they “want silence”, even though… you know, they are the one causing noise by yelling aggressively.
Anyways - because I have realized that my quest for optimal serenity is yet to be actualized because of them, my hope to resume finding optimal peacefulness might be proven impractical, and even counter-productive, not only to my wellbeing (by making myself unnecessarily miserable), but also because it might not help me become a stronger being (by enduring their yells and, sometimes, initiate a counter-attack of my own).
From purely a logical perspective, a life of peace, while not possible in its absolution, can be achieved optimally. However I hope that you will agree with me, that being very sensitive and not very resilient, will make my search for optimal peace, harder than it should be.
Hence why I give this personal example - to show you that adversity, even if uncomfortable, may sometimes be proven as inevitable, and instead of saying to oneself “there’s nothing I can do about it” and feel completely hopeless - why not think the opposite - that adversity can be seized for one’s own benefit?
Why, in video games, are we eager to beat bosses that are not easy to be beaten? That is because many bosses in video games are obligatory in order for us to proceed in the game and reach new areas. We can, technically, not fight with them, and stay in the same areas we have already unlocked and explored.
However, how are we, the players of life, are going to proceed into new horizons, if we are to refuse the inevitability of discomfort - with adversity being a major example of this - and make ourselves more experienced, stronger, more capable of enduring, and so forth?
Fear not, for you are a soldier of life. March onward into the battlefield with your shield to protect you from the arrows of the enemy forces, and even if some arrows will breach your shield and might hurt you, at least you will know that you have had got the audacity to advance and become gradually accustomed, to the pain the enemy has inflicted on you.
And indeed, should your enemy make you suffer, see your agony not as a demon sitting on your chest, but as a big, bitter pill, being swallowed through your throat. Even if the pill is terribly sickening, at least it will make you more capable of enduring it, should you be forced to take it again!