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How to Overcome Denial and Unlock Reality

Updated: Apr 30

Screenshot Credit: Dr. S. K. Pachauri

Unconscious denial is a defense mechanism that some of us use to resist reality. Our unconscious mind keeps us from being aware of our thoughts and experiences, so we may unconsciously deny the facts, supporting evidence, and even the truth itself in order to protect ourselves from mental harm and discomfort.

Philosophy is about unlocking the truth, and as long as we deny the truth, we will never be able to understand it as well as philosophers. This is because philosophers are trained to be honest about the truth, even when it is uncomfortable.

The truth can be painful, so it is understandable why we might try to deny it. However, it is important to remember that denying the truth will not make it go away. In fact, it will only make things worse in the long run.

It is a way to avoid what Chezch writer Milan Kundera described as "Litost". And I quote: "Litost is a state of torment, created by the sudden sight of one's own misery". We might not always understand the consequences of repressing the truth. On our lives, on others, and on ourselves. And yet, the wounds this truth creates might govern us for the rest of our existence, until we confront it and stare deeply into its abyss.

Into the abyss were our true beings are buried in. Beings oppressed by denial, by normalcy and by pathetic distractions, as we pretend to be fine and well. As we pretend that we do not need therapy, despite our trauma. As we pretend that we are good people, even if we abused others physically. As we pretend that we did nothing wrong because of normalcy and other, easily-disputable logical fallacies. Fallacies that decrease the clarity of reality's understanding.

We need to question everything if we want to find the truth. Because even if the truth is right in front of our eyes, we might not understand it properly due to the blinders of our denial. People who refuse to challenge the tyranny of their own denial are not worthy to wear the mantle of philosophy. They are too unworthy to have mentees or apprentices, as their ability to teach is compromised by something that can be handled with self-awareness and open-mindedness.

That includes our very own identities. If we think we are good people, we should question our own morality. If we think we're smart, we need to question our intelligence and thus work to overcome a possible example of the Dunning-Kruger Effect. For denial only breeds biases. And the more biased we are, the more blind we are to reality.

We need to embrace discomfort as a feature of life. We must not be so quick to escape it. If we escape it regularly, we will only let the fear of it control our lives. Like a puppeteer in a backroom, our fear of discomfort can be responsible for our own actions, without us even knowing it.

We can earn our mental freedom by confronting our shadows, our darker sides, which reside within us. By meditating, we can convert content from the unconscious realm to the conscious. Meditation can be regarded as a mission where we delve into the darkness of ourselves in order to gather intelligence. The more we sink further and further, the more we might begin to feel less physical pain. We might feel freer, even at the cost of our own serenity.

Because reality is not always what it seems to the biased eye. Confirmation bias is a very powerful force when it comes to our understanding of things. If we strive to always confirm our assumptions, we will blind ourselves and others from a possible truth, a truth that says otherwise.

Later on, I may create a new subcategory on Philosocom, where other writers will provide commentary on my own articles. Philosocom is not here necessarily to promote an agenda, but to allow an exchange of different ideas in order to help you understand reality better. Better, through the art of writing philosophy articles, which I myself have mastered.

After all, I have no desire to live in denial, even if that denial has the beneficial functionality of helping me live a comfortable life.

Why? Because it is comfort that stands in my way towards seeking the truth. Philosophy is not the purpose. It is but a means to an end, a tool, a research method. And I'm using it for the betterment of humanity and of myself.

Because I am a broken man who is not afraid of the dark anymore. The dark that lies within and outside of me. Because I am not afraid of what is known as litost. Tormented or not, what matters to me is understanding reality. And I will pay the necessary price on my mentality for that endeavor.


Because unlike cowards whose cowardice is reinforced by normalcy, I am capable and willing to admit reality. And that includes my own faults and misdeeds.

A quick search.

And I refuse using my former name of Tom or "innocence" as an excuse for misdeeds. As that is beneath the honesty of a moral philosopher.

And I will fight against normlacy through my work; normlacy that justifies disgraceful acts by reinforcing them with conformity.

For it is the norms that can turn people into sociopaths. And not the other way around, necessarily. For they are uncaring, and they are a barrier, used for denial.

Tear down your innocence. It's in your way. It blinds you. Reality is worse than you might think... You, might be worse than you think.

Your innocent self might as well be an unconcious facade, used to hide yourself from you.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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