Why Did It Had to Be Me, Who Saved Grandma? Why...
Updated: 15 hours ago

Why Did It Had to Be Me, Who Saved Grandma? Why...
Summary of by Mr. Roland Leblanc
In this article, Mr. Tomasio Rubinshtein is delivering to us his deep insightful intentions that did help him get over his burdens and challenges at an early age!
He is somehow touching and is also trying to let us get more aware of what we could do to improve this world, the same way as he tries to do it using his philosophy site to do just that! Rectify this world! Despite his personal problems,
he had caught the wish of his grand mother and he made it his! Others could have just fall in depression or complete uselessness!
His approach here is very personal and can touch us if we grasp his motives and his desires to help as many people as possible to do as he did... perhaps in a different way... and try to collaborate in the rectification of this world! If each of us does find a way of finding out what our existence purpose is, then, the many who knows can maybe be models for others!
I was born a misunderstood genius, and live until this day, as one, not entirely being able to be understood by most people, to this very day, as I remain a rare enigma, even in plain sight.
I do not experience the same reality as you do. My neurodivergent brain doesn't process reality the same way most brains process it. Negative. My brain is designed only for research and intellectual exploration.
Studying under my late master, a mere child understood her well. Her profound loneliness, her profound mental detachment, which was as the same as mine.
In 2007, realizing how she was misunderstood by most, and will always will, until her final breath, my late master sought her own demise. It was too difficult for her, to be so severely misunderstood.. all her life.
I was there, saving her from herself, restoring back her desire to live, simply by being there. Simply, by being myself.
My unique brain was deeply troubled by her distress until this very day. Her mental anguish did not compute well, given I was but a mere child.
Trying to help her further, as to keep helping her believe in being alive, I began philosophizing and being an extensive researcher, while suffering from the cognitive dissonance of amnesia.
Despite saving her once, I wanted to save her more. I wanted her to live, for as long as she can.
Yet, under the the tyranny of amnesia, and of a world designated to teach me (and not vice versa), I only managed to extend my late master's life by 5 years, in my love and care for her.
The compulsory education system prevented me from taking care of her. I will never forgive the education system, for taking my sweet, adorable grandmother, away from my loving arms...
It is the responsibility of the state to make sure the elderly will not live in such misery, like she did.
In 2011, my master ventured to a nearby mall, to consult with her doctor about her declining physical and mental health.
The incompetent mall could not do a simple thing, like placing a defibrillator in its halls...
As such, my late master draw her final breaths as an independently functioning human being. Ever since 2011, she was in a vegetative state. I, myself, has not seen her ever since our last meeting, 2 days before she collapsed in that cursed mall.
I remember that final meeting... I remember we exchanged smiles, and had fun, me and her, by ourselves.. Seeing the peaceful smile of those I pick to be my dear ones... is the only thing that brings peace to my heart...
I recall looking at her huge smile, as she bid me farewell with her waving hand, as I closed that door. It was the final time, I saw her.
When she died, in the night of April 2012, I woke up intuitively. Obliviously, I accepted her death. I always accepted death obliviously, for death is a fact, and humans cannot be restored back to the living...
In her funeral I only bothered to cry because I was told that I was her favorite family member. Why I cried, was because.. these feelings were mutual. For she was my first true love... I loved her unconditionally.. and in my heart... I still do.
How.... how a child, saved her? Why.. why did it took a child to save her? Why did the hospital failed to recover her back? Why did the mall did not have the proper equipment, to prevent such distress?
Why... did I managed to do... what many could not...?
Why....?
Why? Why does the world cares not? Why, why only I cared? Why, why it was a mere 10 year old child, who did what a mall couldn't do? Who did what a hospital couldn't do? What her own FAMILY, couldn't do?
Why? Why? Why??????
Why it is me, who has to be better... and stronger... than all of them... Than most of humanity...
Why me? Why? How is this arrogance? It's just the facts... Why would I be proud? I am not proud!
I am ASHAMED! ASHAMED FOR ME, A CHILD BACK THEN, BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT THIS PLANET COULD NOT!
I wish the average human would've been as good as me! I wish! I wish people were smarter... and heartful... and more moral... as I...
But, it is beyond my control... so I let go of such... fantasies..
So... ever since then, I began my eternal quest of philosophy, to understand why this world is so silly, why is this world so absurd! To understand, why it takes a child to do what these institutions could not! To do what her doctors could not! To understand, what this world understood not!
In my increasing rage, under the feeble attempts of the education system to engineer my brain, I only turned more and more aversive and hostile to most humans. I built myself on darkness. I built myself on antagonism. For humanity's growing incompetence... I slowly grew... more and more.. dead inside.
Psychologists were ill-equipped to understand me. Schools were ill-equipped to understand me. My own dear ones were ill-equipped to do so. Incompetence, after incompetence.
I raised myself. None rose me. I am solitary since the day I was born, for my origins are only understood, and are only elementary, to me.
I am as mentally detached as Numi was. I am as solitary as she was. However, I am not as naive and helpless as she was, in her final years. It is my moral duty, to surpass all those I deem in my mind, my masters, just like... "Chen".
...I will never forgive this world for treating her the way it did! I will never forgive an incompetent world for not being able to do, what I did, in 2007!
What I did! Was to make her seen! Was to make her understand, that she was not as solitary as she perceived herself to be!
For I had the genius! To pierce the isolating mental barriers that kept my sweet grandmother so alone! So! Alone! Poor Numi... How the planet treated you...
Ever since 2007, I observed in solitude, the growing incompetence and helplessness of this world.
As a child, I already deduced many things that slowly begin to unfold today...
The growing rarity, of something as basic, as love. As mutual understanding, as empathy...
What do you think? I knew it all. I knew it all for I researched it extensively as a child and as a teenager.
I came mentally prepared, 20 years ago, to what occurs today, and to what shall continue to be, the very same trends I deduced in my philosophical research.
At the age of 27, I already wrote 9 non-published books, and manage a growing philosophy empire of articles. I have no desire to please those who see less reason to understand me..
I know more than most people. I am solitary and ascetic, accordingly to a world I already know what it is going to become...
I avoid most people, because I see no reason to feel as lonely, misunderstood, and dehumanized, as my sweet grandmother felt.
Don't you understand? Her distressful behavior is the very same reason I philosophize!
I see less and less a reason to need an ego... I don't need much.... I just want to keep philosophizing until the day I die....
My troubled mind will always be troubled. It will only know rest in the mental company of those who can understand my troubled nature. My own troubled mentality, allows me to live despite the existential struggle, of a sweet grandmother, long gone from my arms... As I will just keep on going, building this empire for a world of health and wisdom..
For all of this art! All of my research! All of my articles! Are for one reason, and one reason only!
Because I am trying to make sense, of the absurdity, called a 10 year old child, saving his own grandmother from her own distress!
I am surrounded by cluelessness! I, however, dare to examine and to know! To examine and to know and to deviate for as long as I live!
Most of this humanity is but a distraction to my growing understanding, which I honed in solitude...
I spent most of my life in ruthless, ascetic training, for I understood early on, just how weak I was, within a world that fails to understand me.... Haha, even Numi failed to understand just how her distress traumatized me.
I lived much of my life as a monk, not just as an ascetic, as I was busy guarding a bipolar parent under her request...
Be most of this world respect me at a great distance, and respect my wish to rectify it!
This world is free to fight its own petty wars! The world is free to fight its own petty conflicts! Given my anguish was rarely seen....
It is... hard for me to care... beyond... beyond fulfilling her ultimate request: To rectify this very world, I struggle very much... caring about... in my growing... contemporary apathy...
How? How can I forgive this world for taking away my sweet grandmother, away from my loving embrace?
Why? Why would I want to partake in this world, beyond my extensive research?
Why? Why would I want to care about a world, that cares for me not?
No. I only publish my extensive research for free, because it's what Numi would've wanted. My heart's desire is her heart's desire...
She has layered her plans before me... which she wanted me to carry out for her...
Grandiose plans... of eternally improving this world, as her ultimate soldier.
I am Master Tomasio Rubinshtein... and I am a master as my late grandmother before me, who has placed me to rectify this world in her name, and in her image...
I cannot believe in solipsism. I am too aware of the very world I wish to tirelessly rectify in the image of a dead grandmother...
"Robot" comes from the Czech word, "Robota". Meaning, compulsory servitude, which I designate for global improvement.
That is who I am.
For most, work is for them to achieve their hopes and dreams.
And for me, work is to be done as long as I live, under some temporary breaks....
And by deduction...
To work... is to die.
It is my role, as Numi's ultimate soldier, to rectify this world, as much... and as long.. as I can.
Nothing less, nothing more... Nothing else beyond temporary respites..
I am undead inside. The joys of this world, matter to me less, compared to the quest of bringing forth her many, many requests on me. For me, fun is absurd.
That is my choice, and my loyalty is undying to my master.
She picked ME to rectify this world.
She didn't pick YOU!
This is my..... sole... responsibility...
And this empire, which I made in her image, will last as long as I live, by MINIMUM.
AT MAXIMUM, MY EMPIRE WILL ENDURE FOR AT LEAST 100 YEARS!
AND I WILL RESEARCH, AND I WILL EXAMINE, AND I WILL KEEP DOING WHAT I DO, WITH RELENTLESS ADVANCE!
THAT! THAT SHALL MAKE MY MASTER SPIRIT'S PROUD OF THE ONE CHILD WHO BOTHERED CARING ABOUT HER, BEYOND THE VEIL OF PERSPECTIVE.
ME, WHO SAW HER, BEYOND THE MENTAL PRISON THE WORLD HAS CONFINED HER TOO!
IT IS MY JOB TO ADVOCATE FOR THE TRUTH!
FOR MORALITY!
NOT FOR POWER!
BUT FOR GOOD!
FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY,
FOR THE GOOD THAT SHE HAS WANTED!
I, HER ETERNAL SERVANT, REFUSE FAILING HER!
GLORY TO PHILOSOCOM!
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