Furthermore on Loneliness & Being Alone -- How to Understand Loneliness & Its Counterparts
Updated: Feb 23
Unraveling Loneliness' Emotional Chameleon
Loneliness, you see, isn't some singular, definitive feeling. It's a hydra of negativity, morphing its slimy form to fit the occasion. Boredom? It's but one of this Hydra's heads, making you crave interaction like a smartphone yearning to be recharged. Heartbreak? Loneliness clutches your heart, squeezing out every drop of joy even when the sun keeps on shining, and the sea resumes rushing to shore. It's a master of masquerade, this loneliness, and only because we are eager to refer to loneliness as a single feeling and not a spectrum of associated feelings.
But here's the flaw in their logic: People often mistake the trigger for the target. Loneliness is the state, the ever-present cage, while boredom, sadness, heartbreak – those are the symptoms of its insidious grip. Just because you're bored while alone doesn't mean you're lonely in the same way others refer to as "loneliness".
Find a project, a puzzle, a worthy challenge, and watch that pathetic boredom be eradicated. Likewise, heartbreak can linger even in a crowd, a testament to the resilience of emotional scars, sinking you deeper to the state of being misunderstood.
So, the next time you hear someone lamenting their loneliness, remember: it's not just "being alone." It's a complex collection of emotional turmoil, brewed in unfulfilled desires. Reflect upon the layers, dissect the symptoms, and can unveil the true nature of this metaphorical beast within you. Then, maybe, just maybe, you can outsmart it, and eventually overcome it.
Glorious Isolation: Busting Myths and Embracing Solitude
People and their need to cling on company, to fulfill an empty void within them... Instead of building power, they complain about loneliness like it's some cosmic, unsolvable plague. And even in the absence of their determination to build a powerbase, they fail to grasp the glorious solitude that lies beyond mere late night spending with friends.
With their failure to understand the vast potential that lies in the art of being alone, they fail realizing something that can bring much improvement to the world, one person at a time: The importance of understanding themselves accurately. And for that, they, as well as you, should know the complex world of being alone:
First, not every solo stroll through life is a descent into despair. You might even find hope within despair. Whether you're a social animal or a reclusive mastermind, solitude is a subjective spice, not a universal poison. It all boils down to your internal gears:
Your self-entertainment skills,
And your mental resilience.
These mechinations are those capable of determining the quality of your time alone. A hermit basking in the quiet hum of his workshop feels a far cry from a whiny toddler missing his mommy. Correct? Being alone has several states, a hydra of its own right.
Second, about the biblical generalization: "It is not good for man to be alone," Yells the Book of Genesis. What a way to overlook the fact that writing itself is done in solitude and that many creations, including Philosocom, wouldn't have been made without the good aspect of solitude.
And that Solitude, for some, is a sanctuary, a haven from the chaos of the noisy human life. For some it is a need overlooked even by Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Other than the fact that peace could be a liability, is peace truly so terrible? Should we force ourselves into soul-crushing company, just to appease holy scriptures? I, for one, find far more solace in the production and renovation of my article empire, than spending time in a social club.
Third, the issue of romance... Must every cog in the societal machine yearn for a romantic partner, let alone the formation of familie? Of course not. Free will, the glorious gift of any decent democracy, grants us the right to choose solitude, even if it distrubs those who are dear to us. Either way, a handsome face and a stable bank account don't equate to love, nor to offsprings.
How exactly are we constantly supposed to desire love at the same rate, when heartbreaks are far likelier than finding true love that lasts until death. Think about it. It's likelier that your heart will be broken, an indefinite amount of times, than it is likely for you to find "the right one".
The desire to suffer for finding that one lies on our capacity to endure suffering. It's not something many are willing to do. Being alone is a good way to relieve oneself of much anguish. Is there exactly something bad in that, necesarily? Not always. It's good for making you stronger by facing adversity, but sometimes we decide that we suffered enough.
Must we always suffer in the pursuit of the highly unlikely (AKA true love)?
Fourth, the social stigma: "Why are you single?", "Why are you alone?", they inquire, their minds unable/unwilling to comprehend a life unburdened by interpersonal drama. Not everyone is a social butterfly, flying from flower to flower.
Some, like yours truly, are easily drained by the constant hum of chatter, as most common amongst introverts. Why would I like being in social fatigue, after I went several years of chronic fatigue?
Others simply dislike people, with their unpredictable nature and emotional outbursts. And some, like my cat, are perfectly content with a purring exchange of silence. Communication, even with a cat, is all a solitary being like myelf, often need to feel connected.
Shattering the Social Myth
Consider reconsidering your assumption that loners are usually shy. This notion that every peron craves a socializing is generalizing, and can often lead to the whole person fallacy, devised by yours truly. Some of us – myself included – find solace in the serenity of solitude, for in it I work at my best. How exactly can a philosopher be industrious when they need to hear their own thoughts, in order to develop them further, and form new insights for the world to enjoy?
Don't be fooled by my online presence. My social media accounts are like highways, allowing greater access my creations for the world to see. They are part of the infrastructure of my digital empire. They're tools, not playgrounds for chit-chat and emoji wars. Even amidst millions of "followers," I remain as solitary as a supernova in the void.
As such, solitude isn't necessarily the fertile ground for egomaniacs. Just because we embrace solo strolls doesn't mean we're self-centered narcissists, when even solitude can be utilized for society (as in the example of writing. Even, you know, vengeance can be used for collective benefit). Depending on our activities, we can't leave a mark on history without solitude.
Conclusion
The social spectrum is vast. Not everyone dances to the same extroverted tune, and not every extroversion is the same.
Embrace your inner hermit, your introspective genius, your glorious self-sufficiency, and you can do much good in this world with certain activities, should you be willing enough to be alone regardless of what others think of it.
I can at least testify that I use my industrious work to not remain lonely. How come? I'm a hard man to understand, so instead of whining about it, I choose to do something productive with my time, to get my mind off these impractical thoughts. Workaholism has its virtues.
Afterthought
People in general need to be both extroverted and introverted as each has its virtues. Being a social animal might help you in areas such as marketing, customer service and even the military. That's while introverted are best suited for roles which requires introspection and reflection.
Obviously, roles from both areas are required for a functioning society. As such, it isn't "bad" by default to desire society, the same as it isn't when it comes to wanting to be alone. Some tasks require "coming out to the people" while other tasks requires isolation. We best have the right people to carry out each of them.
