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The Art of Being Alone

Updated: Dec 13, 2023

Being alone is a skill. It is an art that is recommended for all of us to practice for the sake of our maturity and independence.

For many, being alone is not an easy task. It can cause fear, stress, anxiety, and depression. Some may even fear dying alone more than death in general. What is this fear? This fear is the fear of feeling and being lonely. When loneliness is felt, it is sensed like a deep inner void inside your body, sucking away all your happiness.

Being alone is similar to horsemanship. The more you are in control of yourself, the less likely you are to fall into the painful, hot ground you're traveling on. The less stable you are on the back of the horse, the more tension you will feel in your muscles. You must be stable, mentally stable, or else you will collapse into deep suffering. And when you suffer under the cruel sun, no one, at least for a while, might come to aid you in your misery.

It is only sensible to depend less on others, emotionally, in order to be better off alone. This can help you rely less on other people on that aspect even when you're not physically alone. Thus, the art of being alone is the art of being mentally resilient as a single entity.

Here are some tips for practicing the art of being alone:

  • Start by spending short periods of time alone each day. Gradually increase the amount of time you spend alone until you are comfortable with it.

  • Find activities that you enjoy doing alone. This could include reading, writing, listening to music, or spending time in nature.

  • Challenge yourself to be more independent. This could mean doing things like cooking for yourself, going to a coffee shop on your lonesome, or going to the movies alone.

  • Learning to be alone takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself. Don't get discouraged if you feel uncomfortable at first. Just keep practicing, and eventually you will find that being alone is not so bad after all.

Another point to be recognized is that people are, naturally, company. You can also be considered under the category of “people.” Therefore, you too are company, and if you are alone, you are in the company of one. You will always have yourself to be with.

Just like being with a romantic partner, there is also the relationship of the individual with themselves. There is, for example, who they are, and who they want to be, otherwise known as the ideal self. This relationship is like every other human relationship that it is possible to think about. Like with every relationship, issues are always potential to occur. However, this relationship is often ignored, if recognized at all.

You are the rider and the horse altogether. In seclusion, you ought to be both the navigating leader and the stabilized means of transportation. This is a cooperation of one as a unit on its own, with a demand for toughening up as means of progression and preservation. It isn't for the weak or for those who have no desire to become stronger in mind. Whether alone in a hermitage or in a noisy bus, seclusion is universally possible, from the quietest of valleys to the nosiest of metropolises.

The more you are at peace and love yourself, the better your own company will be. Spend some quality time with yourself, show yourself some love, and practice monologue with yourself, whether in speech, writing, or thought. Gradually, your own company has the potential to become the ideal company you could ever imagine, so much so that social interactions will become less of a need and more of an option.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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