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On Those Who Are Dear To You

Updated: May 3

Should we ever reach immortality, this article will be a relic of the past. But as long as we and others are alive, we should value not only our own time in this world, but also that of those who are dear to us. A prime example being whoever is family to you. It is likely in most cases that you will outlive them, so why not dedicate some of your time to be in their company, given that a period will come when you won't have them anymore?

A mother, a father or a grandparent -- you are likely to get your time in this life independently from them, but as long as they live, why miss the opportunity to cherish their existence in your life? That, of course, is assuming that you're in good relations with them, or even at contact with them at all.

Whatever may be the case, your origins will likely one day leave you on this world alone, after probably a lifetime were they either raised you or at least cared for you to an extent. You will get to be alone if you'll outlive them long enough -- that can definitely wait if you wish to seize your relationships with older people to its fullest.

As a child I used to meet my larger family on a regular basis, but as time went on some of the connections I once had were broken apart by the inevitability of circumstances and time. Now I would probably never get to have these same experiences ever again, and even though I am young I am aware that I have entered into some kind of a point-of-no-return.

That's just time telling you that even if certain events become very ordinary in your life, they'll eventually disappear, and there's little you can do about them, at times, but to accept them.

This is why I, although largely a hermit, am well aware that I will indeed get my fair share of isolation, but as long as my mother, who's my neighbor, is still alive, I feel obliged to spend time with her in order to cherish my time with her. As she lost her parents, I will lose mine eventually, and even though I get my happiness from extensive solitude, the thought of taking the lives of those dear to me as granted, is one that I find hard to accept.

Preparation for a life of solitude is essential for anyone who leads a very solitary life. However, the enjoyment of solitude should not become a joyous pill when the company of those dear to one is still around. Solitude, after all, can last until the day you die, but of course, not so is the case with others, especially those who are older.

The same logic should apply to pets as well. An average dog or cat lives around a dozen years, if I'm not mistaken, but whatever the exact year may be, they live far shorter than an average, healthy human being. This is why they too shouldn't be ignored too much, or else one would regret the time that could've otherwise been dedicated to spending time with them.

If we are to "globalize" this premise, then it shouldn't really matter what is the length of a dear someone's lifespan, because anyone can die at any time. Heart attacks, for example, can theoretically happen even to those who are healthy; someone can trip and damage their brain beyond recognition; passing the sidewalk at a green light can still make one a victim of a car accident by a reckless driver.

Therefore, everyone who is dear to you should be cherished, because anytime they could die or at least disconnect from you in any other way that doesn't have to involve death.

Beware -- a life of solitude can happen even to a person who used to be very social throughout their lives. Alongside this appreciation of others, one should prepare for the inevitability of solitude, because even the most social of human beings can find themselves spending the reminder of their lives in involuntary loneliness. It can happen to you as it can happen to me; the possible difference is, I have prepared much of my young life to this possible occurrence.

I have no friends where I lived; I've moved here with my mother as a neighbor so I could die alone. Once the time will come (and I hope it will be as far into the future as realistically possible) -- I will become more solitary than I already am. Therefore, I am not afraid of spending much of my life in great physical isolation, but that fear should be serious to literally anyone who finds it too hard to be alone for long periods of time.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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