Accepting Reality III: How I Liberated Myself From 15 Years of Pain
Updated: Feb 9
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is not always easy to recognize. Many people may suffer from symptoms caused by trauma without even realizing it. They may deny that they were traumatized and try other solutions that do not address the underlying problem.
Positivity can be harmful when it is used to escape from our mental problems. In this case, optimism can be seen as a form of not handling problems that need to be addressed. This is why it can be dangerous if post-traumatic symptoms become more severe.
Unfortunately, problems are not always diagnosed properly, if at all. This is because the person themselves may repress the fact that they were traumatized. Since therapy requires effective cooperation from the patient, a psychological treatment may not be as effective as one might think. For such treatments to be most effective, the patient must accept the darkness of their reality and reveal it to the therapist. Otherwise, both the patient and therapist may be wasting their time and money. The therapist, well, may earn from the patient's denial, the longer they deny it, but I digress.
When people tell you that you should not remember certain things, forget them, or not think about them, they may not realize that they are enabling your post-traumatic symptoms. If they are angry at you for digging deep into your troubled past, they may be standing in your way to a better life with less unnecessary pain.
In my case, I researched my personal history and correlated between certain events, both private and public. This helped me reach the origin of my traumas. Once I did this, huge layers of pain began to fade away from me after 15 years of haunting me.
It was amazing to discover these truths on my own because no one else bothered to do it for me. People fear pain and suffering, so they try to repress it. Some people may even condemn you for thinking about your pain so much, even though it can be useful for your liberation from it.
Now, after 15 years of deteriorating pain that made me fatigued and physically handicapped for over a year, I am largely free from my pain and no longer need a cane to walk. I honestly thought I would die and that only one or more surgeries would grant me my freedom. But the freedom I looked for was in my mind all along. I just had to accept reality.
The reality that says: Bad things happened to me, and they were the source. The source that ruled me in my subconsciousness.
Now that I am far more physically independent and can even do my own groceries, my life's potential has been expanded. It is now that of an average human being, a human being who does not need a cane at the age of 25. My hermitage is no longer my prison. I need less help from others for daily functioning. I still need my CPAP device, but that is all. Just some respiratory checkups and that's it. Many of you do not really understand what it is like to be as disabled as I was.
It was depressing as it was humiliating, at least in my eyes.
It all starts with accepting the shadowy places of your reality, of your past. It really does. As long as you repress your agonies, they will not necessarily vanish. No, they will remain deep inside of you, like covert agents, and manipulate your life without anyone really knowing or understanding.
Therefore, it may sometimes be important to meddle with the darkness in order for some light to come out. Because even a portion of light can enlighten a lot of darkness. Because the truth, no matter how grim or horrifying, can set you free.
Learn from my example and do not be afraid. Do not succumb to counter-intuitive positivity, when traumatic symptoms can only severe your situation. Because they made me very fatigued, to the point I needed a cane to walk. To the point that sitting was too difficult. To the point I was very physically weak.
Use the truth to liberate your mind. And no matter how painful it may be, you must not give up, in the name of survival. In the name of your functioning in life, and in the name of your promising potential.
I suffered enough. It is time to actually enjoy some of this reality. And have some relief for a change.
It could have been worse if I hadn't solved this case. Of that, I am painfully aware. It was good that I stopped it when I had the intelligence to do so... Do so myself.
Thank you for reading.