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On Social Communication -- Why It's Not the Only Form of Interaction

Updated: Apr 11

A beautiful city

The dominance of the electronic world has reduced the need for social interaction (AKA, socializing). It's simply because there are many ways one can occupy themselves without company.

Video games, TV shows, movies, music you can hear privately -- as someone who grew up with all of those, I increasingly find it difficult to understand the necessity of socializing. For the vast majority of your free time, you can use this incredible modern technology to surround yourself with solitude, peace and entertainment!

The frustration of trying to understand the importance of socialization has been something that has accompanied me since childhood. Family members tried to encourage me to go out and play with other children who were strangers to me. Even though I met up with a few of them, I still failed to understand what the point was when I could just play on my own devices.

This is why, as my early life went by, I became more and more solitary, because I failed to understand why I should socialize when I can be alone, secure, and self-entertained.

Not all people enjoy socializing, and there were people who spent their lifetimes as hermits. You may say that if you don't give love to your baby, their development will be damaged. This is something I agree with, but that is not necessarily socializing, because the need to be loved is originally an emotional need, not necessarily a social one.

Of course, they may correlate, but we do not always socializing when recieving emotional support. Would you say that speaking to your psychologist is socializing? Is it in the same degree of interaction as in going to a social event? It isn't because people who socialize do not do it for the sake of being productive or for the sake of doing some work, like the work one may do when being a psychologist's patient.

Social people prefer to just have fun when they can and want to. It isn't necessarily fun speaking to a psychologist or to a vendor, the same as the fun found in socializing with friends.

Therefore, not every human interaction is a social interaction, and as such, a social interaction deserves to be seen as synonymous to socializing.

When we have grown out of our families, we don't necessarily need the love of a parent anymore. That's unlike when we were infants and children. It doesn't mean we should discard our original loving family, but when we become adults, we don't necessarily need the love of our parents.

For me at least, my family are honorary figures, and I only communicate with them beyond necessities because I respect them for raising me well and because I appreciate their insights. If an interaction lacks any potential for productivity, either at present or at future, then I have no problem discarding it in the name of work.

By paying them attention, I'm paying them respect, as it is moral for me to do, and as they deserve for being responsible for by upbringing. Such is the ways of communication I taught by the Rubinshtein Clan philosophy.

I am a-social being because I'm a workaholic.

However, I no longer see the need for their (family's) love. It's just like I don't see the need to be loved at all, when you can at least try and become strong-spirited in solitude. I am no longer the clueless, dependent child I was, and thus, when they die, I need to be strong. Strong alone.

The only reason I had friends when I was a student was because we had so much free time in school that needed to be filled. Hence, when we graduated school, I decided not to keep in touch with any of my former classmates, unless they wished to contact me themselves.

It's not an arrogant thing to say, that I only needed them for that function. It was a fact, and we weren't always allowed to have phones during this free time between lessons. As a result, having someone to talk to was preferable to becoming bored.

Social communication can be seen as unnecessary because it is only used for leisure. When leisure can be spent alone, there is no need waste time and money on socializing. Unless you really want to, of course, even though your will does not have to force you to do things. Some people love to socialize more than me, which is their right to feel so, but when you seek independence from others, socialization isn't necessarily the way.

In order to try to understand the importance of social communication, I did try to socialize throught life. The small parties I attended felt like a waste of time, and I only went to family gatherings out of respect for my family.

You see, fun is just a feeling you have, and it does not necessarily contribute anything beyond itself. At the same time, we could be attached to machines that give us pleasure for the rest of our lives. In this scenario, would you consider such a life worthwhile? A life that does not go beyond the fulfillment of good feelings.

Because of this, I began doubting the value of social interactions. Thus far, I failed to understand why I need to step out of my hermitage, go to the nearest bar or club, and make friends with strangers when I can spend the rest of my life, within said hermitage, contributing to the world at large with my contemplations.

I'm simply saying that building a massive article empire seems a more worthwhile investment of my time and energies than any other activity in this world. If I talk to people then much of it is for that sake and that sake alone.

If I had the ability to skip the need for rejuvenation and instantly generate new ideas for articles, I would do so with little hesitation. That, you see, is why I am not a social being, and I am not a hedonistic one, either. I don't live to enjoy. I live to work. And in death I will be discharged.

Would you say that a professional call is a social call? Not necessarily. It could be one of the many reasons that "It's lonely at the top".

As I mentioned to one of my readers, I communicate with some of my readers on occasion, but I do so not for the sake of amusement, but to do what every good writer must do: Maintain an audience and possibly generate otherwise-missed ideas for new articles.

If what I said in this article has offended you, I apologize. Take note that I never had any intention to offend anyone whatsoever. I will promise my future self that I will no longer waste my life over self-serving fun and instead dedicate it to more important pursuits.

Perhaps I will find love in this life, perhaps not. I just want to work, rest and repeat. I'm doing this for you.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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