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Why It's Lonely At the Top

Updated: Nov 18

(For the whole site's category on solitude, click here)

(For the directory on success, click here)

The expression "lonely at the top" suggests that those who are successful and/or powerful in their field have very few friends. The term "success" does not have to be a one-time event that never happens again. In order to be successful, you may need to work very hard to hone your skills and become more dominant in your industry. Even with people, it can be a lonely endeavor, and I speak from experience.

Those who do not want to work hard may find themselves falling victim to "get-rich-quick" schemes. They do not want to put in the effort, for whatever reason, such as being desperate for money, so they fall prey to con artists looking to make a quick buck off of their stupidity.

Make no mistake. Even before my fatigue worsened, I was never really social or even romantic with others, because I was too busy philosophizing. It was, and is, a very solitary endeavor. No matter how much my work is appreciated and read, my innate feeling of isolation may very well last indefinitely.

I have done a lot in life despite being 25. Bragging is unnecessary. It is all because I gain no joy from socializing. So I just continue working and working, despite having little energy to even get out much. Only once in a week or two, for years.

Success usually requires a lot of practice and/or the commitment to learn from many mistakes. The point is to get better and better, because that's what successful people do: They do what they can to achieve their goals. Some of them, like myself, are regarded as masters in our craft. I am simply saying this because I have been called a philosophy master before.

I have been philosophizing since 2013. And I've done little else in life, in comparison.

There is no guarantee that hard work will get you what you desire. You are basically gambling, more or less, in hope for a different outcome, of the life you're currently having. It may as well be a sacrifice not many do. For they are too busy hanging out. Too busy working their day jobs. Too busy dating and finding "the right one".

No. Unless you have the spare energy and time to create deep connections with other people, you might as well resume to dwell in solitude, as you work for a success that might not even happen. What might drive you is faith in your efforts, and/or the impact they may leave on this world.

I am almost certain that I am anhedonic. The more I worked, the more fleeting this emotion of joy became to me. I began losing it more and more, until it was gone, and failed to return for a while, no matter what I tried to do.

I am not even loved by anyone other than family. I was too busy working on becoming a better writer and philosopher, that I left joyless and unloved. Outside of family, only respected. Very, little, else.

To make this site work and be competent, I sacrificed much. As a double-edged sword, I became lonelier than ever before. I rarely see people physically. Working was that important to me, that I sacrificed some of who I am. I am not sure if it will return.

To avoid becoming a ruthless business owner, I purposefully tried to find ways to feel loved. To reduce the possibility of becoming a monster, permanently.

I may laugh with others, but I'm just pretending. I'm trying to emulate human interaction in order to feel something.... Beyond feeling refreshed, like with coffee, I don't really feel anything, when joking with others. That is the truth. I am sorry if I decieved anyone, it wasn't the intention.

Nonetheless, the success of Philosocom is above all in my eyes. I will not let anything stand in my way to increase its success, more and more.

I do not live for myself. This is all for you. The resources I gain from my work, I give back to this site. I may be a capitalist, but I am a compassionate capitalist, not ruthless.

It is simply important for me to contribute. Nothing else matters to me as much. Honestly. I view those who do not want to contribute, as egotistical people who are looking for their own gain. People who may manipulate others, just to get what they want. They don't really care for you. They may only care if they find an egotistical reason for it. They may not reveal their ego in the matter.

I won't be like them. I won't be evil.

Being evil for the sake of contribution, or for the sake of good, is nonsensical, isn't it? I think so.

After spending all of my life in existential isolation, I wonder if it will ever change. If I will finally feel loved. Nonetheless, I only live to work. I see no other purpose to designate my life for.

And this is a very, very lonely existence.

Perhaps other successful people can relate. After all, this expression does not exist for nothing. It isn't exactly a myth. Perhaps in some cases it is. But it is certainly not for the rest of us, hard-working business owners.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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