The Tyranny of Circumstance -- How Its Hand Shapes Existence, and How to Deal With Its Presence Effectively
Updated: Apr 26
Circumstances: A Catalyst for Connection or Conflict
More often than not, whether we are ready to admit it or not, much of who we are is shaped by our circumstances. These external factors influence how we interact and view others, the paths we choose, and our overall decision-making. While genetics and inherent behaviors play a role, circumstances undeniably interact and exert a powerful influence on us throughout our lives.
The people we consider enemies often become so due to the circumstances that brought us together. However, different circumstances could have fostered a positive connection, and even friendship.
Consider two neighbors who simply never resonated with one another. However, if one neighbor heroically saves the other from a life-threatening situation, the dynamic would undoubtedly shift. This example highlights how shared experiences, positive or negative, can significantly impact our relationships. And because we do not have complete control over our lives, the chances of having shared experiences, do not depend entirely on us alone.
And our ability to connect with others, heavily depends on our ability to relate to them. Relatability depends on seeing ourselves and our experiences in others. Know who you're talking to, and you can relate to them better by seeing your experience of life as similar.
How Our Perception Shapes Our Reality
Even when circumstances remain constant, our perception of them can evolve. A childhood friend who seemed like the perfect playmate, for example may no longer resonate with our adult selves. This underscores the dynamic interplay between external events and our internal development; our constant relationship with the world, with how it affects us, and on the conscious/unconscious decision to perceive it.
While circumstances hold undeniable influence, we don't have to be passive recipients, just because of mere habit. Habits, after all, can be broken. When they do, we increase our own sphere of action.
By acknowledging the impact of circumstance, we gain the power to choose our perspective, and thus, our reaction to it. This empowers us to:
Foster understanding: Recognizing how circumstances shape others can as such foster empathy and compassion. Empathy demands knowledge of the other side, and cannot really be done without proper understanding.
Navigate challenges: When faced with difficult situations, understanding the role of circumstance allows us to develop effective responses. To navigate challenges effectively we need to understand what we truly can and can't control. We mustn't fall into the delusion that we're completely incapable, nor capable more than we actually are. Increasing our power on reality can grant us more ways to navigate challenges, thus highlighting the importance of excessive means.
Embrace growth: Challenging circumstances can be opportunities for personal growth. By learning from them, we can develop resilience and adaptability. To do so, to view circumstance as a challenge to overcome, we must exit the victim's mentality, which compels us to submit, not to grow beyond our current strength.
Navigating the Power of Circumstance
Life constantly unfolds within a maze with ever-present walls of circumstance and choice, playing with each other, and leading to the formation of new paths.
These walls aren't always fixed; sometimes, doors open or slam shut permanently due to life events, and/or due to our own shortcomings. We all navigate this maze individually or collectively, with death as the final exit. Although our deaths mark the end of our journeys, they can open doors in the mazes of others, leaving a lasting impact on the world. Being part of existence, our death have effects on the circumstances of others' lives. That is the irony of loss.
No matter how many paths we explore or walls we break through, the maze of life endures as long as there are people capable of navigating it.
Circumstance acts as an endless series of these walls, shaping every situation we encounter, whether acknowledged or not. Its influence can be undeniable, as illustrated by the electricity flowing through our homes. Without it, this very text wouldn't exist – neither the ability to write it nor the internet to share it. And when you have a monopoly on electricity, like we have here in Israel, you have a monopoly on a core feature of circumstance.
This monopoly of electricity, creates a vast divide, between those who need it and those who supply it. Those without it cannot access the information and opportunities available to those with it. Their lives are impacted differently, highlighting the interconnectedness of circumstances on the many, many activities that are now done mainly if not only by this resource.
And as previously mentioned, our ability to relate to one another, depends on our experiences, shaped, if not governed, by the circumstances of which we cannot control. It could serve as a way to foster a herd-mentality of those who are not aware of what they're truly capable of: Overcoming certain circumstances, with enough power.
Therefore, as long as we are not powerful enough to navigate circumstance or to overcome it, circumstance will always have the upper hand.
And the point of power is to be able to better work towards our ideal selves and towards the lives we want to love. The more power we have, the less of a problem our circumstances become.
Circumstance extends beyond the present, and has roots in the past. It shapes who we are not only after birth but also before. The choices our parents make, like choosing a partner with mental health challenges, can increase our own susceptibility to similar issues. Circumstance, you see, is that powerful, being able to shape our future even before even being alive.
These choices made by others, both voluntary and involuntary, both wise and stupid, have ripple effects impacting future generations. We hold a double-edged sword we're mostly unaware of: The power to initiate circumstances of several people through our actions and choices, including those, by proxy, of their generations. We are that powerful.
Consider the fact that causing trauma to others, whether physical or mental, can also affect not only them but their local environment, and their children, whether born or to-be-born. Our actions have an effect on the world that we might not be aware of fully. Being wiser can help us make better decisions.
For example, if we can make people do something without the use of coercion, then why use coercion in the first place, considering its negative affect on people's psychological safety with you? How are we supposed to live a life of reduced stress if we unnecessarily use coercion to make people cooperate with us?
When we have power over people, we need to use our power wisely, so the presence of our circumstances with them wouldn't unnecessarily bring unnecessary harm. You might find out that choosing to do good is preferrable even from a logical standpoint, which in turn should make you question how you think and make choices.
We are more powerful than we might think, as we're not always thinking of the long term implications of our actions. And circumstance is created through power: The more powerful we are, the more circumstances we can make.
Let's use our powers to improve humanity, not to harm it unnecessarily.
Circumstance and Action
Despite limitations, a sense of control remains -- the one on our perception. As CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) teaches, and as Viktor Frankl exemplified during his Holocaust imprisonment, we can choose our responses to external and internal events. To quote Frankl:
“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts, comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.“
However, even with this hard-won skill, circumstance remains a formidable force. While our choices can drastically influence the lives of our children and their descendants, we can't sway large-scale events. But like with A.I philosophers, why not deem these events a challenge for greater inner strength?
The saying "thought creates reality", the hallmark of the law of attraction, is like an overstatement. We can't simply manifest anything into existence simply by thinking it. However, our thoughts do shape how we perceive circumstances, and thus our perception affects our actions by proxy. By altering our perspective, we can "change" reality, or rather, change our experience of it, and our actions. This mental shift is a powerful tool for navigating the inevitable maze we all find ourselves in.
How Gratitude Can Change Your Reactions
One way to change our reactions to our circumstances is to learn from other people who have different circumstances than our own. For example, you might have your own room and bed, but many people in the world do not have this luxury. Some people still sleep in the same shared place, and some people do not have arms or legs. Others have mental disabilities that limit their ability to function independently.
Knowing about the different circumstances that people face can help us to put our own problems into perspective. When we realize that our problems are not unique, and that other people have faced even worse circumstances, we can start to feel grateful for what we have. This gratitude can be a powerful tool:
Shifting Focus: It helps us focus on the positive aspects of our lives, even when things are tough.
Empowering Choice: Gratitude empowers us to choose how we react to our circumstances. We can choose negativity, or we choose a more positive outlook. We have the power within us to overcome our negative bias.
Of course, not all circumstances can be changed. Some people will face limitations for the rest of their lives. However, even in these cases, we can still change our reactions, and that may be our greatest freedom, only hindered by a certain technology not fully implemented. yet. We can choose to focus on the positive aspects of our lives, and to refuse to let our circumstances define us. We can be more than mere products.
Conclusions
Ultimately, the power to change our reactions lies within us. Not only available, that power can be stronger than what we might think, making life potentially far more bearable.
While circumstances undeniably shape us, much of their power depends on our willpower to either resist it or to submit to it. By acknowledging their influence as largely depending on our reactions, we can unlock a greater powerm, to shape our perspectives and navigate the inevitable maze of life more effectively.
This empowers us with:
Understanding: Recognizing how circumstances mold others fosters empathy and compassion.
Resilience: Challenging situations can become catalysts for growth, teaching us to adapt and overcome.
Perspective: Shifting our viewpoint allows us to find meaning and gratitude even amidst hardship.
Our choices, though not absolute, can significantly impact our responses. We can choose to be:
Proactive: Initiating circumstances through our actions and influencing the paths we take.
Mindful: Selectively focusing on positive aspects and reframing negative experiences.
Grateful: Appreciating what we have, fostering a positive outlook in challenging times.
Let's use the powers we have to make both our lives and other people's lives more bearable. After all it is the moral thing to do: To help people understand how they can reduce their own suffering with the power of the mind.
