"Inner-Murder" -- Rubinshteinic Neuroplasticity -- How I Developed Ruthlessness
Updated: Apr 24
Neuroplasticity describes our minds' ability to adapt to new situations. Adapting to our environment is an imperative concept because we need to survive. The world will not always accommodate us, so we must be willing to change ourselves in order to thrive.
For example, if you are highly sensitive, you may need to adapt to a reality that is unforgiving and remorseless. This can be difficult, but it is essential for your mental health. Different environments require different adaptations, so it is important to be flexible and adaptable.
Our neuroplastic potential is affected by many factors, for good and for bad. For example, stress can harm it, and it is one of the reasons stress is harmful for us. On the other hand, there are several ways to improve it, regardless of who we are and what is our age.
We need to understand the importance of what we already experienced thus far in life, as our experiences shape our neuroplasticity. If we have poor-quality experiences, we will only damage our ability to survive in our environment. The brain must rewire itself in order to prepare for the future, and it can only do so by relying on what it has already experienced. This is in the name of a more endurable present.
Succumb to depression due to your powerlessness on the external world, and you will pay in accordance to your own impracticality. Make sure you prepare for life, using the power you do have, and your chances of survival will increase.
Throughout the years, from all the trauma I gathered from life, I have developed my own neuroplastic technique, in order to avoid suicide. It is not for the weak of heart, and it is not for the sensitive or the naive.
So if you are any of those, or generally a person who easily succumbs to discomfort, now is the time for you to leave this article. You will lose, however, by not taking your risks in the name of mental survival. I at least, made my warning.
.....
Now, time to begin the impartment of this technique, to the less sensitive parts of humanity.
"Inner-Murder" is a Rubinshteinic neuroplasticity technique where you actively force your brain to rewire in order to survive in a life where you are deprived of love, touch, and physical human company. I developed this technique because I wanted to endure the hardship of solitude and because I was rarely shown affection in this life, outside of the nuclear Rubinshtein family.
It is said that humans need love and affection in order to survive. This is true, as love and affection are essential for our mental and physical health. However, we need to take into account that both love and affection are not as accessible to all of us.
For some of us, high emotional sensitivity is a problem. This means that we are more easily overwhelmed by our emotions, which can make it difficult to cope with difficult situations. Additionally, not all of us receive the sympathy and empathy we need from others. This can be especially true for people who have been abused or neglected.
It is possible that we will be met with apathy when we present our mental distress. Our abusers may not care about our suffering, or they may use poor excuses to deny the fact that they abused us. They may have done things to us that they should not have done, such as hitting us, threatening to kill us, taking away our homes, or almost murdering us, intentionally or not.
They may use logical fallacies such as:
* Whataboutism -- Telling us things we did, unrelated to things they did.
* Appeal to ignorance -- Using their incomplete understanding of what they did, as a justification to what they did.
* The Nirvana Fallacy -- Stating the obvious by notifying us of reality's imperfection, as an excuse to the abuse they caused.
* Not being able to tell the difference between cause and between justification -- Reason and justification are not the same. The chain of events do not justify the fact that they occured.
* "The Way Things Are" Fallacy -- It is normal for something to occur, therefore it's okay. Or, someone specifically has certain traits or a traumatic past themselves, therefore what they did to us was okay. See this article, specifically regarding trauma.
* The Strawman's Fallacy -- When the gravity of the matter is distorted and thus is regarded as easier to refute.
You see, in the absence of knowledge in the field of logic, people may do dumb things and also justify said things. With said absence, they might do these things again, with little to no regret. Because without understanding of logic, our understanding of reality, and of our own deeds, will remain deficit. Deeds they should not have done. Like hitting us. Like threathening to kill us. Like taking away our homes. Like almost murdering us, intentionally or not.
And we need to survive in a world of irrational people who don't bother studying logic, nor develop their reasoning. We must become better than them, in order to survive, and in order to not be morally depraved like them. Should they deny their lack of logic or morality, it is because they are in denial about it. Because being an abuser contradicts who they are, if they are capable of empathy that's more than cognitive.
We are not born logical beings. Logic is to be taught, aquired. It is not innate. And we do not get more reasonable as we grow up, because growing up does not mean learning logic.
By my very core, beyond what I learned about reason and beyond the fallacies I devised through contemplations -- my self is irraational. My self is Tom, not Tomasio. A naive, highly sensitive, frightful child. A crybaby. A pathetic weakling who seeks to be pitied by the world because he exists.
What I did and do is what I call "Inner-Murder" -- I killed him. And I in fact kill him constantly in my mind. I have no love for him, because he was in my way. And no one needs to be in my way for self-preservation and actualization. Not even the innate, natural parts of myself.
I do not care for toxicity when my greatest bias is to survive the reality within and outside my traumatized mind.
So I regularly visualize very, very gruesome imagery, happening to what I was, to Tom. I make sure to put him in his place. Since I cannot be arrested for practicing this technique, as the only victim is a psychological part of myself, I have no remorse, no filtering in the inner sanctum of my mental being. I have no empathy towards Tom. I am more than him, greater than him, for I am Mr. Tomasio, The Undead Philosopher. It's my real name, Tomasio.
I see it as my duty to murder him mentally. Again and again. And again. Ruthlessly. Mercilessly. I do so like Darth Vader did to Anakin Skywalker. They were the same personas, being hosted by the same body.
Know that a boy named Tom Rubinshtein died prematurely. He isn't me. He was too much of a wuss to endure the hardships of life. He was to whiny, too incompetent, too infantile. He even believed he was powerful enough to rule a medium-sized military force of real players in a game, the pathetic Storm Alpha Squad. He disbanded it because he was a coward and because his own lieutenants rebelled against his weak leadership.
They took away his base from him. He had some of his items in that base's facilities. Subcommanders Eijak and Bobak did not care. They ruined his SAS base and he stood atop a hill and observed his former empire, broken forever. His best soldier left, as well, and the one in charge of crafting items, ghosted him, never to be heard from again.
And in this world, it is the weak and the unfit who gets to be weeded off. I merely did what was inevitable. What was already likely to be done by others. By future abusers. By human beings in general.
And with the rise of me, of Tomasio, I will make things right. And I will become the man Tom would've never been. He would've grown to be a spineless, b***-ess momma's boy.
No. I will build this empire, and an organization behind it. That's the only way my vengeance can be fed. By power. By respect. By business.
That's what you get when you are rarely shown love by the world. You become disappointed. You become depressed and broken inside.
"Murder" yourself, mentally, and things can change for the better.... just as they do for me.
I hope I'm clear.
I murdered part of myself, for you. For my readers, other writers, and successors. Because I care for you, more than I care for myself.
Mr. Nathan Lasher's Feedback
Is the point of life to be more aware of our sensitivity to things? All about controlling it I guess. I think we need to be more sensitive to things oh a physiological level but remain tough on a psychological one.
You must understand neuroplasticity also has to do with our neuroanatomy actually rewiring itself. It’s how I overcame brain damage such as my memory improving. Nothing but the result of my brain rewiring itself in order to work better. You do neuroplasticity on yourself by working on making your memory stronger. You do so by using it intensively. Set something down and see how long you can remember it is there. Practice remembering to go grab stuff around your house. It’s little activities like this which actually make our memories better. You can actually do neuroplasticity on yourself by working on your memory. Cool right?
Mr. Tomasio talks about it as a way to kill a part of who you are. Does that part still not exist somewhere deep down? I just feel like neuroplasticity doesn’t occur for the sake of characteristics. Even if it does it wouldn’t get rid of the fact that they exist. [I think he's] talking more about willpower and choosing to not let certain parts of yourself out.
