The Darkness Dilemma -- Suicide As a Worse Alternative
Updated: Sep 15, 2023
(Note: Must I say that this is a sensitive topic?)
You are sitting alone on top of a pillar in the midst of pitch darkness. The only visible thing in front of you is your computer, playing a video game. Nothing else is visible.
You are not satisfied with the game you are playing, and not with the computer you are using to play it. There is no internet connection available.
In this case, you are faced with two choices. You can either continue with the game, even though you are unsatisfied with it, or you can get away from the computer and go into the darkness beyond the little visibility of the computer screen.
The computer represents your consciousness; the video game represents life and its various happenings; the pitch darkness represents death.
You have no idea what lies in the darkness. Perhaps there are stairs that will allow you to go somewhere else, or a comfortable, bed-sized pillow to ease your pain. There could also be nothing at all, and you could fall onto a field of metallic spikes. You don't know, and even if you had internet connection on your computer, there is no certain criteria nor evidence that other people on other distant pillars would know for sure what lies beyond the electronic light of the computer screen.
Are you willing to venture into the unknown? It is most likely a one-way ticket; once you are out of the pillar, there is no going back. No more computer, no more video games; no more comfortable chair; no more electronic light. Once you are out, you are out for good, without really knowing what is in there. Perhaps there is nothing there, making your decision a regrettable one. Perhaps there is a dimension of eternal torture, making your decision easily regrettable. Perhaps, after dying, you will be transferred to another afterlife, starting anew, like throwing a pair of dice without any idea of what stats you will hit.
However, there is no organ in the body called a "soul." You have a brain, a pair of lungs, a skeleton, but no matter how much you inspect your body through reliable means, you will never find this glorified organ called a "soul."
That hypothetical organ is your only way out of the darkness. It is the fuel in your boots that will allow you to hover across the darkness and into new possible lands. However, you do not have fuel in your boots, as such a thing does not exist.
Therefore, if you venture into the darkness, you will never return. You will sink into infinite darkness, where the only thing that exists is nothing. You will lose all of your stats, data, and progress in your video games, as you will no longer have access to them. You will also lose your computer, the only key to enter the video games. The comfort of your chair will be lost as well, as the chair that you have been sitting on for a lifetime will be gone, like everything else in your temporary, finite life, where death is always an option in the end.
The question is, is it worth it to sink into the depths of the darkness without ever returning, or to stay within the safe, known boundaries of your pillar, which is the sphere of all living things?
I have no right to tell you what to choose, but I will tell you what I would choose based on logical reasoning. The darkness is unknown, and there is no return from it. Because there is no scientific evidence of the existence of the soul, venturing into the darkness would be a fatal mistake.
Even if the idea of suicide is tempting sometimes, let us not forget that even if we have a serious amount of bad things in our lives, we would also lose the good things we already have, along with the chance of making them better. This would make suicide a greater "minus" than the present "minus" of living. Does it really make sense, logically, to choose a darker, one-way "minus" over the current "minuses" along with the present and future "pluses"?
We will all die eventually, but as long as we are alive, we still have the opportunity to reduce the "minus" to a degree, making it even smaller than it currently is. In addition, we also have the chance to increase the "plus", which in turn would reduce the overall "minus" even further. The consequences of suicide -- on others, on our potential, and on ourselves -- would stay the same, and would be worse than the continuation of living and the attempt to improve it.
Suicide, in conclusion, isn't likely to be a "restart" option to a computer, but more of throwing the computer off the window and staying without money to buy a new one.