The Darkness Dilemma -- Suicide As a Worse Alternative
Updated: Apr 7
(Note: Must I say that this is a sensitive topic?)
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The Choice on the Pillar -- An Analogy
You are sitting alone on top of a pillar in the midst of pitch darkness. The only visible thing in front of you is your computer, playing a video game. Nothing else is visible.
You are not satisfied with the game you are playing, and not with the computer you are using to play it. There is no internet connection available.
In this case, you are faced with two choices. You can either continue with the game, even though you are unsatisfied with it, or you can get away from the computer and go into the darkness beyond the little visibility of the computer screen.
The computer represents your consciousness; the video game represents life and its various happenings; the pitch darkness represents death.
You have no idea what lies in the darkness. Perhaps there are stairs that will allow you to go somewhere else, or a comfortable, bed-sized pillow to ease your pain. There could also be nothing at all, and you could fall onto a field of metallic spikes.
You don't know, and even if you had internet connection on your computer, there is no certain criteria nor evidence that other people on other distant pillars would know for sure what lies beyond the electronic light of the "computer screen".
Are you willing to venture into the unknown?
It is most likely a one-way ticket; once you are out of the pillar, there is no going back. No more computer, no more video games; no more comfortable chair; no more electronic light. Once you are out, you are out for good, without really knowing what is in there.
Perhaps there is nothing there, making your decision a regrettable one. Perhaps there is a dimension of eternal torture, making your decision easily regrettable. Perhaps, after dying, you will be transferred to another afterlife, starting anew, like throwing a pair of dice without any idea of what stats you will hit.
However, there is no organ in the body called a "soul." Intellects throughout history agreed and disagreed with each other regarding the soul's location. This means there is no definite location of this spiritual organ, and one of the essences of existence is location.
You have a brain, a pair of lungs, a skeleton, but no matter how much you inspect your body through reliable means, you will never find this glorified organ called a "soul." That hypothetical organ is your only way out of the darkness, as what should enable the transportation of your being to the next world is the soul. It's supposed to be eternal and thus never be capable of death.
Therefore, if you venture into the darkness, you will never return, if souls indeed do not exist. Given their lack of evidence, death is a gamble. You will either sink into infinite darkness, where the only thing that exists is nothing, or somehow find yourself elsewhere.
You will lose all of your stats, data, and progress in the "video game" of life, as you will no longer have access to them. You will also lose your computer, the only key to enter the video games. The comfort of your chair will be lost as well, as the chair that you have been sitting on for a lifetime will be gone, like everything else in your temporary, finite life.
The question is, is it worth it to sink into the depths of the darkness without ever returning, or to stay within the safe, known boundaries of your "pillar", which is the sphere of all living things?
I have no right to tell you what to choose, as your life is your property. However, I will tell you what I would choose based on logical reasoning. The darkness is unknown, and there is no return from it. Because there is no scientific evidence of the existence of the soul, venturing into the darkness would be a fatal mistake. A mistake that would cause sorrow to your family, to your friends, and anyone who deems you dear to them.
To Leap or Not to Leap?
Even if the idea of suicide is tempting sometimes, let us not forget that, even if we have a serious amount of bad things in our lives, we would also lose the good things we already have. Additionally, by dying, we would also lose the chance of working towards a better life. This would make suicide a greater "minus" than the present "minus" of you currently may have in life right now.
Does it really make sense, to choose a darker, one-way "minus" over the current "minuses" along with the present and future "pluses"? In other words, is it worth it, to lose your life, along with its existent positive aspects, the positive aspects that can arrive in the future, and the potential reduction of the negative aspects?
Life can be defined as a series of opportunities. Giving up on life would mean giving up on any potential for that life to be better. The consequences of suicide -- on others, on our potential, and on ourselves -- would stay the same, and would be worse than the continuation of living and the attempt to improve it.
What is, then, the point of ruining things for yourself and/or others, when you can become stronger, and more willing to endure reality?
Suicide, in conclusion, isn't likely to be a "restart" option to a computer, but more of throwing the computer off the window and staying without money to buy a new one. Don't ruin that "computer". Don't sabotage your own progress. Find hope. Find a purpose.
