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Naturality of Trauma -- How Subtle, Negative Human Reality Can Be Understood and Reduced

Updated: 6 days ago

Why Some Abstain From the World

“The wise warrior avoids the battle.” -- Sun Tzu

There seems to be a large misconception about what "real life" means. It appears that there is only a specific portion of "real life" that is actually "real life", while the rest of existence is less "real"; as if there is a way to be more "real" than anything else that is seen as more esoteric, even if it isn't necessarily fictional, pure or partial.

For some people, hermits and loners have no "life". They are "dead" even though they are alive just like anyone else. It's as if a branch that falls in the woods is not as real as a branch that falls in the middle of a nature party. What is the difference between the two? That it is more "normal" for something to occur in the midst of many, and not alone, in their absence.

The thing is, hermits and loners exist just as much as anyone else, believe it or not. Our esoteric lifestyle is not less real than that of any socialite. We do not live in fantasy or in a sci-fi world, or any world that is different than yours. Our hearts beat the same, we have wants and needs, and so on.

Perhaps this delusion, that there are "more real and less real" things and beings in existence, comes from the fact that some may see solitude as a very unrealistic option to choose, when it comes to our daily lives. After all, isn't it fun to socialize, to argue, to go to parties, to immerse oneself in the dating scene?

I can at least say that for me, socializing is a threat; a threat on my mentality, on my ever-going search for peace and tranquility. Thus, I never see the need to socialize, when socializing, at least for me, reminds me of a traumatic past, and when people do not understand my pain. Only delude that they do, instead of being open to the knowledge, necessary to reduce overall pain.

“All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.” -- The Joker

It is a fact that for some, trauma is inevitable. It is inevitable not because some people deserve it, but because it just happens. It happens like the blowing of the wind, like the sunset in the end of the day. It is actually a very natural phenomenon, because we humans, whether we intend it or not, oh-so "love" to scar others' mentality.

We scar them as if it is but a regular occurrence; scar them because "I feel like it", because of ideology and so on, without caring whether or not such infliction will have a long-term affect on their lives. But why should one care, when it is not one's own life? So is the cruelty of humankind, and not that of only cold-hearted dictators, but also of that of average-joes, people like me and you. That's how simple a mental scar can occur, and thus lead to a potentially lifelong illness of the mind!

I may only recently have had the audacity to admit it, but life has scarred me a lot without me ever being aware of it. A girl screaming in my ear in kindergarten, has probably led me to despise any form of screaming and be afraid of it like being afraid of a beating; being suddenly hit by a heavy projectile in school by a bully who got a criminal record for that; years of hearing yells throughout mandatory education made life a regular attempt to keep myself calm.

Feud with neighbors who didn't understand, nor cared, that I am disabled, thought I was harassing them when I just wanted some quiet; A former love-interest made me puke on a regular basis whenever I saw her; cyber-bullying by the world at Facebook because my autism made it hard for me to understand something; a man threatened me with a knife because I just wanted my now-dead dog to follow me, and the list goes on.

These all come naturally between humans because most humans fail to plan ahead, and understand the implications of their actions. They fail, thus they don't care.

Intelligence is a virtue merely for being able to plan ahead for good. For that, the intellect deserves to be praised, and not intimidated.

The Human Company Dilemma

Since we humans are so easily capable of scarring one another, an important question should come to mind -- why desire the company of others, where there is much safety, much peace, in solitude? Let that sink in, that each day in your life, can lead to a trauma, without you even being aware of it. Anyone who doesn't like you can come and hurt you, whether physically, mentally or in any other form, and move on like it was nothing, while it is beginning to be embedded in your subconscious for the rest of your lifetime.

And what have you done to deserve this? All you have done is not be the version your abusers wanted you to be. That's how imperialistic we humans can be, with our great desire to impose our ideals onto the reality of others, and condemn them heavily for not following our own whims, even if we have no authority over them whatsoever.

Ways to Cope With Reality

"This the day I live" -- Brad Armstrong, LISA

Because of this realization, I feel no regret in my great desire to abstain from this world, as I have received enough mental scars from other people, largely strangers.

Thus, when desiring to interact with the world unnecessarily, one should consider the consequences, especially when meeting new people. Humans are not good by nature; that is a very naive notion.

The fact that many humans don't like to learn marks their infliction of suffering on themselves and on the world. Good intentions don't cut it when we can learn of ways to reduce pain and suffering in ourselves and in others. That is the moral, humane aspect of learning and accepting reality.

Knowledge is power that can be used for so much good. If we deny it from ourselves with a false sense of confidence we refuse to question, we further choose the grief found in being alive regardless.

Pain is an inevitable part of life. However, reducing it is the key to avoid unnecessary trauma and to redcue suffering caused by existent trauma.

We can learn ourselves and each other better. That includes those who are the closest to us. We can learn what we can do to not make them suffer so much than otherwise. By saying "I already know you best" is a way to prevent yourself further knowledge you can use to help your loved ones help themselves to live a more peaceful life.

Instead you should tell yourself: Maybe it would be helpful if I know them even more.

Those with good intentions but without sufficent knowledge, may not hesitate to tear your mental state apart, simply because they don't know what they're doing to you. Ignorance can be that horrific, and in the name of human decency it deserves to be reduced to a minimum. As such, ignorance is also a good reason for trauma to occur naturally between humans.

A society of learners that also strive for morality is the best kind of society in that regard. Because humans don't need to carry so much trauma within them. And with greater knowledge we can better cultivate mutual respect and understanding.

After all, the momentary whim—the tyrant of many—is quick to command us. It doesn't deserve to that much, when it can scar our loved ones, and in some cases, scar ourselves by working against our interest for good mental health.

As such, the greatest, unintentional malice within us is the refusal to learn. Delude yourselves that you know more than you do, and you will enable this malice within you, not reduce it, as it deserves in the name of having better lives.

Practice meditation, and you may help yourself release the trauma. Some of it, at least. Gathering knowledge on PTSD can help, as well.

But since I now realize how traumatized I was. I only live life as a task. Something to see through that it will be done.

Not something to be experienced nor enjoyed.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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