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My Philosophy on Ghosting -- Why I (Almost) Don't "Ghost"

"Ghosting" appears to be a more-contemporary term. It is used to define a situation, where a connection between at least two people, gets abrupt indefinitely, by one of the sides, without them giving a proper reasoning for doing so.

Sad, indeed, but in reality, anyone can ghost anyone else, simply because we cannot completely control the actions of the other side, no matter how dear and important they are to us. It's part of liberty. Whether we love them or adore them, the truth is, we cannot lock the door from "guests" who want to leave. They can also leave however and whenever they want, too.

That's the problem with friends, with romance and with marriage -- they can always disappear by will, regardless of what we think they think of us.

I myself had many people who "ghosted" me, all of a sudden. I couldn't predict their departure, nor could understand their reasoning, to this very day. It's also the problem with attempting to know everything -- some data might as well, be forever concealed from us. Why? Because we can't always unlock it, from those who guard it with great, unexplained determination.

Ahh, Steph. You were a kind woman indeed. The mere fact that I talked to you consistently, made you want me to leave you alone. I really don't know why you've done so. All I can tell myself in that regard, is that you were, or are, a coward, perhaps like the rest who've ghosted me. Confronting the person, you wish to eliminate any contact with, seems to be something, some people are too afraid of, correct?

Misery may be included, and since pain does not feel good to the non-masochists, some may prefer to just eliminate that possibility, as well. The possibility of experiencing even an ounce of suffering. Hmph. Mental weaklings. They can cut ties like grown ups, like "real men". No need to run away without finishing things properly. They can finish with a conversation and with words of goodbye. They choose not to because ghosting is has been normalized.

Hence why, people "ghost", see? They "ghost" because they fear pain, even if it's emotional, exclusively. They fear pain, because pain is an elevated form, of discomfort.

I rarely recall cases where I was the "ghost". How come? It's just that I usually strive to treat anyone with respect, even those who might despise me, unreasonably or otherwise. As a philosopher, I seek to better understand this reality I was forced into by birth. That's why, any person I may come by, be them empathic or sociopathic, I can benefit from them to better learn things, and gain more material for insights. Why shouldn't I be grateful for the lessons they may teach me, regardless of the offense they may inflict, intentional or not?

Pain does not really matter to me, when new, probable insight, might be found. It does not mean I like pain, but what if I'm already experiencing it? Then, I will try to find ways to see how it can benefit me, as philosopher. I will make the best of it. After all, anything can inspire to write new findings, others can be benefitted from, for at least a century.

I only truly cut the bridges, from harassers, spammers and scammers, and people I believe can harm me unnecessarily. And even then, yes? I do not really ghost. I may be wrong; I was less compassionate as a child. That child got what he deserves.

Ghosting apprentices and volunteers will reflect very poorly on me as their teacher/mentor/partner. I have better standards, hence why I mentor and strive to be professional.

Yes, yes, even the cowardly Ms. Chen, whose true name will never be revealed, has taught me quite a lot on existence. Hence why I am grateful for her too, despite... using that awful word. Do you know why I am grateful for her, too? Because she never ghosted me.

At least she had the courage to explain, and that, I can appreciate, better than a cowardly escape. Her only cowardice comes in keeping distance from some truths. Hence why I view her as a nemesis, even though she never ghosted me. I do not wish to escape from truth, as that will be against the philosophic ambition!

Remember that even "the most hating person on the planet", per se, can be a valuable teacher. I'd just tell them they're dismissed, than ghosting like a coward. It's just mental pain! It's the least I, at least, can do, to potential contributors, for the expansion of my mind ----- and for potential articles, too! Perhaps, this can be a functional, optimistic method, others can adopt, as well?

But you need to be strong mentally to do it properly, and not be afraid of some anguish!

I also only ghost under exceptional circumstances, and thus, rarely. I choose to remain discreet in the matter. But nonetheless, people have their own reasons to ghost. Some of which, I believe, express their cowardly nature.

Noramlization of depraved acts, be dammned. May this poor excuse experience the unified scream of a thousand souls. Like it deserves, for making this world that of weaklings. Mental, moral and otherwise.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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