The Ballad of Tom -- Funeral to the Inner Child
- Jul 27, 2023
- 3 min read
The Ballad of Tom
This ballad is the explicit, cold-blooded execution of a weak baseline left behind. It is a psychological autopsy. To step into the identity of a sovereign and article craftsman, I had to perform a radical act of internal elimination. I didn't coddle my past weakness; I buried it in an unmarked grave.
In psychology, people often talk about "healing your inner child." Yet, my approach in this 2023 poem was far more clinical and definitive, for my inner child was functionally unfit for survival.
Instead of wasting years mourning that fragility, I treated "Tom" like a software patch that needed to be permanently deleted. The crown I wear today was paid for with the absolute termination of that naive identity.
I ultimately realized that the universe does not hand out participation trophies to the broken or the fragile. The people who put me through nightmares didn't care about my pain. The default world wasn't going to save me. Instead, I built my own world and chose to act in rebellion against the old world, which cares not if I die or not.
As Tomasio, I rule my own little corner of the world, a utopia seeking to rectify this cursed world. Beyond that, said cursed world can go to hell.
An enormous hole in my heart,
Gave me a good reason to depart,
From a former self, an inferior being,
For survival he was too unfit.
For others he defeated too quickly,
A masterless slave, he was too depressed,
Thus his true self he was quick to oppress.
Love letters, to send, he dared,
Too unfeeling, too cowards, they were,
To flee, while putting him in nightmare.
To choose, without remorse to refuse.
Departure of them, made him regret,
He failed to turn,
To what he truly can.
Because I dared to bury Tom.
The kid I used to be.
I don't frown, as now I wear the crown,
And I will not say, "Rest In peace",
Such respect he's unworthy to receive.
Because now we are all, in good company,
That only few, outside, I actualized.
Former handicap, formerly didn't do much.
Former depraved of many a touch.
My accomplishments, became, unmatched.
I refuse to fully move on, although I can,
Because I dared to bury Tom.
I don't frown, as now I wear the crown,
The one you all now, see.
And I will not say, "Rest In peace",
Such respect he's unworthy to receive.
Because now we are all, in good company,
And as more skill I accumulate,
A gem in my mind, a lovely mate.
My work succeeded, it was not too late
For I can be loyal as a dog,
Show my love, with more than just songs.
I can reduce temptations without mercy,
Yet I will not break her heart, this is wrong.
Because I dared to bury Tom.
The sissy that I used to be.
I don't frown, as now I wear the crown,
The one you all now, see.
And I will not say, "Rest In peace",
Such respect he's unworthy to receive...
Because you're now all, in better company,
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