Ungratefulness and Entitlement: Breaking the Toxic Cycle

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Article Synopsis by Mr. C. Kingsley and Co.

The article "On Ungratefulness and Entitlement - Exploring The Depth and Solutions of a Toxic Cycle" delves into the complexities of ungratefulness and entitlement, offering solutions for breaking the toxic cycle they perpetuate. It is reflective and philosophical, tackling difficult ideas like narcissism, entitlement, and the importance of gratitude.

The article's strengths include its philosophical depth and personal reflection, using references like Taoism to emphasize the contrast between peace of mind and toxic behaviors. Mr. Tomasio acknowledges that entitlement isn't inherently negative, but there are justified forms of entitlement, particularly when individuals have worked hard or made sacrifices.

By using real-world examples, the article provides practical ways to think about and recognize entitlement and ungratefulness in everyday life, providing useful insights.

In conclusion, the article is thought-provoking and demonstrates a deep understanding of the complexities of ungratefulness and entitlement.

Part I: Ungratefulness: A Despicable Downgrade

Ungratefulness is one of the most despicable personality traits, especially in a world built on work, favor, and tribute. Whether these components involve personal gain like money or other compensation, an ungrateful person disregards the efforts of others, as meaningful as they objectively were (like helping someone with insights, like offering humane shelter to a homeless, like saving someone from distress, and so on). This disregard is often amplified by a sense of entitlement.

Entitlement breeds the belief that one deserves something or a lot more from others, and demonstrates their emotional difficulty in letting go of such conditions. When these expectations aren't met, ungrateful individuals may disregard or even insult those who have worked for them or helped them outside the professional world.

As such, depending on demands, the ungrateful and the entitled become the practical antithesis to the philosophy of Taoism, the writings and the way of life that are imperative for a calmer, less stressful life. The ungratefulness literally stresses the ungrateful for others to comply with their demands, which of course stresses them. The problem isn't necessarily the ungrateful person, as much as their clinginess to entitlement (and sometimes privilege as well).

Case example: The Null World of Narcissism

In narcissism, the sense of superior entitlement stems from the fear of negative emotions. Narcissists thus become pro-social and anti-philosophical as a coping mechanism and a way to deny how empty they truly feel inside. Of course societies that breed individualism and the ego are ideal for their self-denying ungratefulness.

As such,

....Data provides empirical evidence that sociocultural factors are associated with differences in narcissism and self-esteem. -- PLoS One

The narcissist has not truly self-esteem. Underneath it all, they are in fact more fragile than one might think.

The Toxic Atmosphere of Ungratefulness

Ungratefulness is a repulsive trait that undervalues the efforts of others. Imagine dedicating hours to a project only to be met with criticism. While not everyone is inherently ungrateful, many fail to appreciate the work and effort that goes into creations, as with the example of writing, as...

“Easy reading is damn hard writing.” -- Nathaniel Hawthorne

Even flawed products, like bad movies, deserve recognition for the time and energy invested. Not everyone possesses the skills to write or produce, so it's essential to acknowledge the endeavor involved. However, it doesn't mean we should encourage narcissistic traits in people... especially those who are susceptible to actually develop narcissistic personality disorder.

We should, instead, strive for equity in our judgement. We don't always know if someone is capable of developing such a disorder, and we don't always understand we can be the environmental factor imperative for their genetic tendencies.

Many personality disorders begin with genetics.

Ungratefulness is not only repulsive but also stems from unrealistic expectations. When these expectations aren't met, people may disregard the work entirely, overlooking its positive aspects. For example, a customer at a restaurant might become upset if given the wrong drink, despite enjoying the food and the customer service. As you can tell this stems, also, from the difficulty of distinguishing what is primary and what is secondary. "Kli" and "Tochen" are both objective and subjective.

While reactions may vary, it's challenging for many to overcome perfectionist expectations. This applies to various fields, from restaurants to other service industries.

Part II: The Nuances Empowering Entitlement

Entitlement isn't inherently bad. Sometimes, it's justified, such as when someone has earned something through hard work or sacrifice. However, entitlement can become problematic when it's directed towards those who haven't benefited directly from your efforts, like family, friends, or volunteers.

It's important to remember that not everything in life comes with a price tag. Worldwide, literal pricing of products is subjective for context-specific reasons. That is why you can do good business in places like New Zealand, and less good in Indonesia. If you've received something without significant personal sacrifice, expressing gratitude is appropriate, even if the outcome isn't perfect.

On the other hand, entitlement is justified when you've made a substantial investment and receive a disappointing product or service. In such cases, it's reasonable to seek compensation or address the issue with the company.

Subjectivity As an Active, Concrete Force For a Wonderful Wellbeing

Entitlement is therefore realized as complex, depending its legitimacy on many, many parameters, and without a universally-clear idea for it. As such, using Occam's Razor, we can deduce that entitlement is justified when it is agreed by all relevant parties (as in the case of a dispute).

Those who utterly refuse to understand in an equitable manner, automatically become unnecessarily problematic for their own, self-biased sense of justice, ignoring the logical fact of interconnectivity. That is the dark, subjective aspect of being ungrateful: When one deems their pain, more important than the employment of critical thinking for optimal conflict-resolution.

Love makes us prioritize a more holistic approach to justice, increasing justice overall. That is understood, given that nothing exists in a vacuum independent of logic products and outcomes.

The root cause of ungratefulness, therefore, stems from a hurt ego that fails healing itself in non-destructive ways.

The Tenacious Value of Time In Entitlement

While free content might seem like a very tempting bargain, the biggest investment is often time for both the reader and the writer. Given that none of us are immortal, it's crucial to consider how you allocate it. Allocate not only for the content itself, but in the name of your subjective set of moral values.

This is why I focus on writing articles rather than books, and also why they are often summarized on the regular. Articles allow for quick consumption and internalization (demonstrated in reflection). Your time management philosophy is yours to decide. I simply provide the content. The choice is yours to sink in ungratefulness, constructive criticism, or outright exiting Philosocom and moving on with your life.

Books, on the other hand, require a more significant time investment due to their length and depth.

In today's world of short attention spans, content should adapt to the evolving needs of future generations, while still maintaining the ability to be understood when it is complex. This might involve creating shorter, more attractive formats (like having AI art, links to music and smaller paragraphs for easier digestion).

Nuances From A Personal Perspective

I am already aware of the shortcoming of being grateful. I don't "deserve" your validation. The only equality I truly believe in is the equality of opportunity, necessary for a competent, fair meritocracy. For sure, chances are hard to be given to certain people, like ex-criminals.

That is exactly why justice is so hard to attain, for there is no clear definition of what we are truly entitled to, as already written.

I really believe in giving people chances to redeem themselves, not out of pity but for a better world than this one. Of course, not out of entitlement either.

We are not entitled for a better world! We are simply condemned by our immense liberty, by the very same thing we praise.

Part III: Constructive Criticism -- How To Be Grateful For Feedback

While it's tempting to dismiss ungrateful individuals, there's value in listening to those who can offer constructive feedback. By seeking out diverse perspectives, we can challenge our biases and move closer to the truth.

However, the more we will avoid improving our ability to handle criticism, the more difficult it will be for us to be grateful. Rectifying this world compels us to rectify ourselves first, and focus less on embracing our flaws.

As such, it's unrealistic to expect everyone to appreciate your work, especially those with intentional biases, stronger than their desire to explore. Trying to please everyone is like trying to stop someone from leaving by clinging to their leg, and therefore, anti-philosophical.

Just try to peacefully let go from those who utterly refuse changing their opinions about you. Anything you say to them can, what? Can be twisted by their confirmation bias.

Focus on the positive, and you'll save yourself from willingly entering a petty rivalry. Aim to avoid the battle, and try to appreciate what was good with these people.

The Liberating Value of Letting Go

Since it's impossible to satisfy everyone, by bothering with this unrealistic tendency? Why lament the less-realistic, when we can aim to attain our realistic ambitions, instead? If something becomes so failing that no success can realistically heal it from its failure state, why bother? That, would be like feeding entire planets to a being that needs to eat planets on the regular.

Instead of striving for perfection, focus on achieving the best possible outcome. Take note that the best possibility may alter with time due to forces beyond your control. You lack omniscience, correct? Name a human l that doesn't.

Being open to different perspectives (enabling learning them and also enabling yourself to criticize them in your mind), you can improve your work and build stronger relationships through a more-effective navigation than otherwise.

Article Conclusion: Understanding the Deteriorating Delusion of Necessity

Ungratefulness can be seen as a delusion of reality, as it can easily defend one's well being on entitlement. The ungrateful may complain about lacking something, but is it truly essential for their satisfaction? Did Alexander the Great need to conquer the world just to bee happy?

Why must we depend on our wellbeing on very, very specific ambitions? And if we already do it, why must these specific ambitions be unrealistic?

In a world that is often unfair and imperfect, expecting more from others can be unrealistic, especially when their efforts have met the sufficient criteria at hand (as in the case of being provided good food and good service, but a mistake in giving you the drink you requested).

A product or experience doesn't need to be perfect to be enjoyable or effective. By focusing on the positive aspects and avoiding unrealistic expectations, we can cultivate a more grateful and fulfilling outlook on life. Also, compassion towards others can reduce not only their suffering, but yours as well, as compassion can help the world be less antagonistic.

Understand how the ruthless pursuit of justice causes you unnecessary grief as well.

Personal Conclusion: How I Became Less Entitled in a Careful Childhood

Even video games, often subject to much severe lambasting, can be enjoyed without every imaginable feature.

As a child, I fantasized about additional features in my favorite games, and I always preferred seeing flaws in them as triggers for my creative thinking. I found it much better than whining, and I still do to this day as a writer. You can instead develop your ability to be original through creative experimentation.

Resentment is unnecessary when one can learn to appreciate what exists, and build a better existence using the existent.