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How to Take Insults -- Findings from Personal Interactions with Strangers

Updated: Feb 14

A sad looking boy.

(Note: This article can be regarded as the prequel to this article)

It's possible that only a masochist would love being insulted, as insults may be the bane of many of us. However! The mistake I've made throughout my life is to avoid insult by pursuing pleasure. Many of you might think that's the practical thing to do, but what about resilience?

What about accepting insults as an inevitable possibility? What if, even then, you will be insulted, no matter how much you attempt to retreat from them?

I've detected something interesting in the pattern of some of those who've insulted me; some of them may be glass cannons. Do you know what that means? It's a term to describe something or someone that is powerful in offense but weak in defense.

Within each of my experiments with such insulters, a weakness may be found, and that is, usually, their ego. Is my assumption correct?

Many insulters may feel free to insult others and treat them like dirt. However, some, if not many, of them may run away like cowards if something important to their egos is put into reasonable doubt.

For some, it is their own love for themselves. For others, it is their reputation. For even more others, these are values that may hold dear to their hearts: credibility, tolerance towards the disabled, and emotions that they do not like. I am not sure if there is a human that is proof of a counterattack that can hit their weakness.

Nevertheless, learning more about people can help one use a weakness against them, which might make them stay away from you and never return. Therefore, speaking with strangers, and expanding your circle of interactions can give you the experience and memory required for you to potentially endure anxiety and insults even more than before.

I have studied CBT, or cognitive behavioural therapy. One of its teachings is this: experiment with your source of anxiety, bit by bit. With each dose of experimentation, you can get accustomed to the source of your anxiety, and thus, you can have an easier time, handling at least some of your problems.

I'm saying this because I too suffer from anxiety, specifically the kind that comes from insults. I've disabled comments on Quora because degrading comments depress me, and I have no desire to worsen my mental state, for I am not a masochist.

However, I allow commenting on other platforms, including this very site. I don't want them to make me suicidal, so you can hear from me, that pain should have its limits as well, whether physical, mental, or otherwise. See this article, which is not purely biased.

"Building character" can also help greatly to endure and contain the emotional injury. Please interpret it literally: Imagine yourself as a character, any character, and consider how they would handle the situation. If your imagined character is mentally tough, try to put yourself in his or her shoes.

My character in mind, which you can study as well, is Dr. Ivo Robotnik from an old cartoon called "The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog." I picked him specifically because he has pride like no other.

A ruthless, satirical warlord who is used not only to insult but also to injury and humiliation. Despite his painful ordeal, he resumes doing what he does best: seeing himself as great in every way, accepting defeat without giving up, and giving himself promotions.

So! To those of you who cannot bear complete solitude, including myself, I ask that you try to accept that the world is not always your friend; that there may as well be no cosmic justice in this mortal realm; and, finally, that being hurt does not have to feel so bad in the end. Succumbing to one's own vulnerabilities — that's where the problem is! Try to not escape while you can still fight!

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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