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Justice In Love

Do you think there is justice in love? If so, how come? We humans need to be loved by a minimum extent, but we sure don't DESERVE to be loved, just because we're humans. External love, whether we get it or not, is beyond our control, and thus depends on the people in our lives, and on how they view us.

You can't force someone to love you when such emotion is non-existent in their hearts, just like you can't necessarily change someone's sexual orientation. It is spontaneous, and thus, unequal, because only certain people will trigger that emotion in other people's hearts, and vice versa.

Love hurts not because we deserve it but because this spontaneous triggering is unjust. In other words, only those who love you sincerely, will be attracted to you, while others will see you only as sand beneath their shoes, like Ms. Chen and I. She abandoned me not because she hated me, or because I did anything to her; it was because this cursed intuitiveness of emotion was never present, no matter how I tried to trigger it within her heart.

Love does not work that way because not everyone gets that so-called "happy ending," whether they end up married or not. Ultimately, it is the decision of momentary emotion, as to whether or not you will get the girl or boy of your dreams. No matter how much suffering you've gone through, you won't necessarily get your love based on that, because love does not work in accordance with the law of justice.

There is no destined person in anyone's life because not everyone will necessarily meet that person, and should they meet them, nothing ensures that they will be together forever after. Even those who are unjust or morally corrupt, may get their ideal partner, while the just and kind-hearted might remain loveless. It isn't a thing to be forced upon, regardless of your moral alignment. In general, this vision of divine justice is nonsensical, I believe, because it has to also be included in this field of life, which is nonexistent.

How do we get love? We do not. Love comes to us. By our overall visage in the mind of the lover, which in turn generates the feeling of love towards us. And once we get it, we are then in a fight against the visage of others in the same mind of theirs, affected by uncontrolled bias towards the person with the greatest degree of impression and attraction.

Love is not just because the world of love is largely a competition, in which the outcomes have already been predetermined by the natural attraction of different people to other people, which may or may not be you and/or me.

I myself, in order to be healthier and more attractive, used to be more attractive than I currently am. I dedicated entire days of my life to walking, exercising, and healthy eating, and yet I largely failed at attracting women into my life. I could've come to them and asked them out, but I was (and am) too sensitive to do such a thing. And thus, most of my high-school days were spent avoiding Ms. Chen, instead of having any kind of romantic interaction, despite the fact that I was far more attractive than I am currently.

Based on that experience, I have realized how futile it is, for someone like me, to be in a romantic relationship with others. It mattered not that I was kind and polite; ultimately, it is all about natural attraction, and it is a fact that some get it more than others, despite the nature of their personalities and deeds (or misdeeds).

I no longer see a future where I will be with someone. I stopped even bothering to spare a thought about that a long time ago because I will either be loved, be treated horribly, or both. To Ms. Chen, you see, I am but mud beneath her feet, even though she herself told me that I have never done anything wrong.

If I'm going to be treated like sh*t despite my efforts to be loved in return, what is even the point of trying, just to get hurt repeatedly, in hopes that I will not get hurt again permanently? What is the point in this ordeal of gambling, when you can just throw it out the window and move on with your life, alone?

There is no justice in love; there is only genuine attraction that is not of your own choosing. When you fall in love, you don't choose to be that way; "that" "chooses" you. Because of that, there is much suffering in that realm of existence.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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