Pain As Drive and Reality -- The Rubinshteinic Approach to Pain

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The Unbreakable Will: How Chronic Pain Forged My Purpose

(Note: This article reflects personal insights from 2024. For an updated perspective on love's role in transformation, see my 2025 note below.)

Introduction: The Unconventional Strength Born from Constant Pain

Life is a relentless teacher, and for some, its lessons are carved in constant physical and emotional pain. This isn't a story of weakness, but of how enduring discomfort – from persistent back and neck pain to emotional turmoil – can forge an almost unbreakable will.

For me, "losing" goes beyond the realm of video games; for me, it's also about stagnation, wasted time, and a despised lack of productivity. My journey from a highly sensitive individual to one who views pain as a strategic partner has been anything but ordinary.

From Sensitivity to Strategic Apathy: My Business with Pain

Early in life, the world's external stimulation was overwhelming. I remember a high school teacher asking why I tolerated classroom noise if I disliked it. My answer – "Because I taught myself to accept it" – was met with laughter.

It was a grim realization: the world often has no desire to understand adaptations born of unique suffering. This formative experience reinforced a crucial insight: apathy, when strategically applied, becomes a powerful mental shield. The less you are triggered by minor discomforts, the stronger your mental resilience becomes.

One day, after an intense gaming session and a day battling chronic physical pain, my body often ached, my muscles are tense with rage, yet a profound detachment allows me to function. This pain, once a constant background hum, is separated from my "higher-self." (I have developed a theory of selves for further reflection).

Through years of discipline, I learned that discomfort is merely sensation – not a master to be appeased. Obsessive comfort-seeking, I realized, only weakens the mind. Adversity, in measured doses, is a potent medicine.

Pain as My Unyielding Teacher: The Sith Methodology of Endurance

Few understand what it's like to experience pain every waking moment for over a decade. My past has created a unique qualia in which I perceive the world; years of pain had made me near immune to it.

This isn't a plea for mercy, which I find impractical. Rather, it's an acknowledgment that pain has been my greatest, albeit ruthless, teacher. It's a master operating by Sith methodology: demanding endurance, mercilessness, and an unforgiving will.

This relentless torment has influenced my very mentality, making me stronger and more determined. "Endure as much as you can," my pain whispers, "so you can write as many articles as possible, before leaving this world." Through this pain, I am building an empire – the Philosocom legacy.

Pain reminds us of our breakability, and it is a test of resolve: Only the determined can endure it well. However, true weakness lies in succumbing to its temptation, to not go on despite of it; of admitting defeat, or relenting. I refuse to be weak; I am relentless. Death, it seems, is the only ultimate cessation of this physical torment; only the weak-willed would seek it prematurely. Yet, I've accepted this pain as a permanent reality, leveraging it to overcome countless mental challenges and fulfill my philosophical missionary work.

How Pain Reshaped My Body and Mind

Pain is not enjoyable, nor is it a badge of honor. It is a profound revealer of hidden potential – our capacity to endure life's many trials. My journey with pain reshaped me physically and psychologically:

• Asceticism: It taught me to minimize fleeting joys, including junk food, prioritizing true hunger over mere appetite.

  
  

• Dietary Shift: It forced me to abandon vegetarianism. I eat a mainly-meat diet to gain strength. This isn't about enjoyment, but a strategic choice against weakness, contributing to my muscular physique.

  
  

This consistent drive has made me the physically massive ascetic I am today – a man constantly failing in his quest for long-term serenity, precisely because my ambition is too vast to rest on past accomplishments. I choose to want more; I choose to be perpetually driven. Pain made me reactive, quick to anger when plans deviated, fundamentally changing the "old me."

The Philosophy of Utilized Pain: Finding Hope in Despair

My success as a writer, and indeed the very existence of Philosocom, is largely fueled by this pain. Each day without writing irritates me; I view productivity as the solution to the "problem" of simply existing. Hedonistic activities, often seen as enjoyable, leave me with existential dread – a profound loneliness within the vast void of a vain reality. Through philosophy, I find liberation from this specific pain.

The "Rubinshteinic Pain" I describe is embedded with passion and iron-willed discipline, fueled by despair. Within philosophy's eternal relevance, I find hope amidst the despair of a universe whose objective meaning demands questioning. This isn't about the enjoyment of suffering; it's the pain of a relentless worker, an ascetic, utilized as a means to an end -- for a greater good. It's a pawn to bridge the gap between my current self and my ideal self, and to create one of the best philosophy blogs online.

My Mission: Writing as A Prime Directive

Confined to my self-imposed quarantine, capable of lasting weeks or months, I write. Not for peace, which my ambition constantly sacrifices, but because it is only when I write that I affirm the reasoning behind my existence, and give meaning to an otherwise vain existence. Peace, paradoxically, becomes a liability to my monumental plan to build an empire of a website.

Because of this constant pain, which serves as drive and reality, I entrust the Philosocom legacy to you, dear reader, to enjoy for free. This makes my pain, productively, a good one. Its "goodness" only truly emerged when I realized it could never be fully satisfied. I have no intention of disposing of such an asset; like a dog, I remain perpetually hungry, and will likely remain as such until death. This decision, I believe, is capable of doing so much good to humanity, inspiring faith and hopefully making the world a better place.

My life as a philosopher is now set in stone. I philosophize to cope, to maximize productivity, to feel useful and not a "leech." I fight against the irrational urge for eternal rest, choosing instead to be good and mentally survive the irrationality within me.

The world's inherent shallowness is a reality I refuse to simply submit to. Through intellectual precision, I aim to reduce it. This is the core reason for Philosocom's existence – my emotionless passion to write more, to climb further, like stairs, away from the darkness of nihilism below.