Self-Isolation and Why I Isolate Myself by Choice

Self-Isolation and Why I Isolate Myself by Choice

(Philosocom's Directory of Choice and Decision)

(Background music)

Those who are as sensitive as I have no place in this loud, impulsive world. The internet became a salvation to my kind of people, because here the user can permanently block people away from one's virtual presence. I wager that, if it weren't for computers, I would be less hesitant to end it all, simply because one cannot filter their physical environment as much as the virtual one.

Filter the hatred, the uncomfortable noise, the harassments and the presence of toxic people. In the physical world, that is only possible when you either move to another place to live in, change your job, or both. The virtual presence thus gives us an underrated freedom -- the freedom to filter and to isolate.

It isn't an act of cowardice, necessarily, to physically quarantine oneself from this world. It could also come from the intention, to stop the seemingly infinite loops of conflicts with other people. Conflict with friends, conflicts with family and neighbours.

The thing that never ceases to amuse me is the fact that many choose to give in to internet trolls by feeding them with their anger, when they have the choice to block them and save their energy over something worthier of their time. It should not be seen as fearfulness, to want serenity from this stressful world, when such an option is indeed possible.

During the COVID19 lockdown, it was forced upon by many people to isolate themselves from the world. It was a difficult verdict to many, not only because of the financial damage that such a policy caused, but also because many people are not as used to being alone so much in their homes, even though they can communicate with others virtually.

For me, however, it didn't change much, because most of my life I have quarantined myself from this world, preferring instead to contribute in my own way, while finding much freedom in solitude. Sometimes, it was involuntary, because I wanted to be loved by someone other than family and pets. But, as I grew up, I've realized that quarantine is the only realistically positive choice for me to follow, and that is all because I have sensitivities that I never chose nor ever wanted.

I don't wish for life to be different. In solitude I am free to do as I please. I isolate myself by choice because I am not compatible with most people, and find much freedom in solitude, not having to cater to anyone, while living in my own world.

I've accepted the fact that my wellbeing is more important catering to a corrupt society, even if it means cutting ties with people, I hold dear who aren't good for me.

I enjoy the silence of solitude; the fact that I can be with headphones all day and choose whatever music I like, without disturbing anyone in the process. I can't work, even though I tried and went to interviews; it's too stressful and exhausting.

This freedom in physical solitude, allows me to live life stress-free, and I have an idea why. Society is a stressful place to be in, and I'm glad I don't have to partake in society. Physical exercise is too what I am free to spend my time on in solitude when it is not too hot.

Had I been born as a normal person, I would've struggled more than I struggle now. In my disability, I am free to live my life under my own terms, with no one bothering me whatsoever.

Given I don't like society, and I am a rebel, it is not too difficult for me to quarantine myself from this world. It is still important to have people to speak with, even if only to cleanse the void from within. A life of complete solitude can be very empty, and I still have a need to contribute to the world. I do not want to exist publicly in this world beyond my online contributions of Philosocom.

I believe the world will continue to change and evolve, regardless of my own existence. However, I also believe that my continued presence can contribute to that change in a positive way. The possibility of making a difference, of contributing to something meaningful, is a powerful motivator for me to choose life over death, and solitude over society. This vision, this hope for a better future, is worth more than departing from this planet for good.

The world appears to be a beautiful place. However, if it means that I'll get this elusive feeling of peace, then it is preferred that my quarantine will resume until the time comes to go. Nothing appears to be preferable to resting in peace while in life, and not only in death.

I thus have no regrets forsaking humanity, while contributing to it from the comforts of my own solitude.