Updated: May 13
A long time ago, I made the unfortunate decision to remain unemployed for the time being. I am tired of the External World's disapproval of my inborn eccentric behavior, and I am tired of the stress and anxiety these disapprovals force me to experience, at the price of my wellbeing.
This is why I despise the authority of norms and conformity. It believes it knows what is good for me, but it really doesn't. Whenever I choose the path that I know is good for me, it condemns me and sometimes even tries to make me feel guilty for going my own way, for knowing myself what is best for me, regardless of controversy.
I don't need that much of an income anyways. My allowance is sufficient for me to live. People may say that working and socializing with the External World might make me feel better, but the truth is that so far, socializing and working, even if it made me smile and laugh for time to time, had ultimately a bad impact on my wellbeing, and I do not wish to deteriorate it any further.
Given my strong desire to preserve my wellbeing, while wanting to live a peaceful and stress-free life, I feel that it is my duty to do whatever it takes to protect myself, from the toxicity and from the triggered behaviors of the External World, even if it means that I would receive less income.
I don't believe that the External World can bring me the stress-free life that I so desire, as evident in my previous encounters with it during my lifetime. Therefore, even if a lot may disagree with me, I conclude that I must seclude myself even further, in order to live the way I want to live - in peace, in serenity, and in no fear of aggression from those who fail to understand my condition.
It seems that regardless of what I try to invest in, eventually I come into the conclusion that I'd earn more if I didn't do anything in the first place, financially, educationally, or something else (like working and paying to keep said work). People often say it is better to do something than to be a "Klumnik", AKA, someone who doesn't do anything; someone with little to no achievements in their lives. But come to think of it, if I were more of a klumnik, my life would've been happier.
My heart would have been less broken, my bank account thicker, and my mind less filled with anxiety. If I were religious, I would say that I have been receiving many signs from a cosmic entity that my life would be better if I were even more of a hermit and just learned to live sufficiently with my kind welfare pay and with even less of an online presence.
All of this is to provide one important, yet underrated, insight: sometimes it is preferable to do little with little loss, than to do much with heavy losses. One should not always aspire to rise up after all the falls; one should question if it is worth it to hit one's head so many times, just for ambitions they do not need. It is just not worth it, all the collapses to the earth.
While I am not a klumnik, I do find some wisdom in having the freedom from costly investments, where success is either too hard, too excessive in demand, or both. Many of us are afraid of being klumniks, hence why we try to reach for whatever will give us the respect of others, since no one respects klumniks.
However, in a world where there is too much of everything—and everyone—a hard truth is that there are too many people in the world in comparison to what is needed to be done. Otherwise, there wouldn't be too much competition for many job positions, and many would be unemployed for years in a variety of industries, including in compulsory-service militaries.
Thus, should we accept that there is a great imbalance between the amount of population and the lack of workforce demand, people who would be klumniks, either by choice or circumstances, would have a better opportunity to both accept their condition, and try investing in certain concepts, just to escape from their klumnikness, whereas there is no need for them to do so, not for them, not for society.