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My Philosophy On "Being Cool" -- Why It's Important

Updated: Aug 5

(Philosocom's Masculinity Directory)

When it comes to day to day life, unless there's actually a reason to be "heated up", we all should teach ourselves to "be cool". By being cool, I don't refer to being attractive, fashionable or anything of that sort; I refer to being chill and try to not submit to emotions, whose strength can hurt our mental balance. In other words, I at least define "cool" as simply "chill", and not much beyond this interpretation.

My own desire to become "cooler", comes from my troubled past, as a man who was, most often than not, overwhelmed by emotion. The more we are to drive backwards in time, the more you'll see me crying regularly, even if there is, in theory, not much to cry about.

When I understood how being emotionally overwhelmed as counter intuitive, I've decided to try and be less sensitive. However, by this ambition, I do not pretend to be without sensitivity, for I may always have that trait within me, just as my mother has and her deceased mother had.

Still, not all hope is forsaken, of course, since I realized that some of that sensitivity, is indeed within my grasp. Thus far, I believe it depends not only on one's own sensitivity, but also on one's perception of it, when it comes to suffer from this vulnerability.

No, I don't believe in the concept of "real men". I believe that every male human who is an adult is already a man. After all, that's the basic definition of what a man is. I merely developed a masculine personality in order to survive in my solitary life. Thus, even as a man, I don't see a reason to call myself, in public, a "real man", when I already am one, and when such premise should be out of the question.

What I aspire to be, on the other hand, is cooler, which is technically a masculine stereotype. Being a "real man" or a "real woman" only depends on gender and on whether or not you're an adult. Other than that, whether we strive to be masculine or feminine, is our own choice to make, is it not?

Some of my meds I take are there to cool my nerves, and ironically, drinking coffee makes me more relaxed. Maybe this is the reason as to why I enjoy coffee so much. As for the meds, I see no shame in having to take them, if it means I will be a calmer person. They also cost me quite a lot and require me to take blood tests every now and then indefinitely.

I do not pretend to believe that there will be a future where I won't need these pills anymore, regardless of the fact that they are disgusting in taste. Nonetheless, I force myself to take them just to preserve my current mental state. I take them reluctantly and with distaste, just to function.

This constant disgust of swallowing these pills, which taste like rotten fish (I think?), made me a more disciplined man, who sees life beyond the philosophy of hedonism.

Hedonism... is such a counter-productive philosophy. It basically says, that if you don't enjoy life, then your life isn't worth much. To all hedonists here, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Anyways, because I no longer depend myself on the emotion of joyfulness to deem myself worthy, life began to be seen as more reasonable. Why? Because there is much more to life than mere emotion.

I would define being cool the same as being serene: Having an absence of intense emotion, that could tip you off the balance of your mentality. Mania? Depression? Both are opposites of not only one another, but of serenity as well. Serenity is like the number zero -- it could be an absolute lack of either plus or minus, if you understand what I mean.

The whole reason as to why I left my hometown is exactly this -- to be more relaxed. It was a great sacrifice on my end. I can no longer see much of my family on a regular basis, and practically, the only people I know personally here are my mother and her current boyfriend.

I am a solitary person by nature, yes? But after being used to visit your family on a regular basis, life gets only further isolated from the external world.

And if it weren't for the fact that I can still write and thus contribute, I would've considered retiring from my public life here online. If my cursed chronic fatigue will take this away from me... Well, this is a possibility I am painfully aware of. This awareness, alone, makes me calmer, for it grants me a bit of certainty; a certainty, that cools my head.

In summary, based on my experience, I believe that trying to cool yourselves is something that you should indeed consider, regardless of your sensitivity level. Remember that sensitivity is basically a synonym for higher vulnerability. To be honest, it's quite difficult for me at least, to understand why anyone would glorify being vulnerable, as if it's a virtue and/or something to be proud of. It limits your life and your ambitions, when you base your life on the value of emotion, and less of other values in comparison. It can make you more anxious and thus more withdrawn from this world and from beneficial opportunities to your cause.

Increase your resilience, be prepared for possibilities that are likely to occur, and you might find yourself in less of a need for trigger warnings and such.

And this, yes? Comes from a very sensitive man. The irony. I "murder" my sensitive aspects to survive.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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