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Addressing Stereotypes of the Social Kind -- How It's Like to Be Asocial

Updated: Feb 18

A reddish ship in a red sea.

Criticism Towards Generalization

It's true that many/most of us humans are social creatures. It's also true that many of our interactions involve socializing. However, the fact that many humans are social, and that many interactions are of a social nature, does not mean that all humans are social, and not all interactions with others are meant for socializing.

Humans that are not social beings are called asocial beings. The asocial being does not enjoy socializing as much as most people, and would instead choose to be withdrawn from society far more in comparison. Thus, considering that asocial humans exist, it would be a generalization to claim that all humans are social by nature, even if many of us are.

Personal Insights

As a writer, my purpose is to communicate with others, and of that there is no denial. However, my reasoning for writing, is to neither make friends, nor receive them. As an asocial man I am largely withdrawn from society, live in my own hermitage, and rarely see people physically. By large, I am content with that, and prefer far more to dedicate my time, energy and intellect into work. My purpose as a writer has two sides. To contribute to the world and to justify my existence, as someone who is capable of contributing.

I deem my philosophership a product of an personal moral obligation to contribute to this world. If I did not feel it, I would've chosen to be even more of a hermit than I am currently. I work on purpose even though I am well-off. I do not have a mercenary mindset, but rather, that of a salaryman. And as such, I am working to serve you. It does not mean that I enjoy socializing. Negative. I would enjoy socializing if I was a hedonist. But I prefer working than making social calls. Since socializing is purely for fun, and I dislike pure fun, I'm not a social being. I gain my fulfillment from accomplishment and productivity, and dislike wasting my time over fun.

We need to take into consideration that not all people are social, and that not all people voluntarily interact with others for the sake of socializing. I do not require emotional validation, myself. I'm trying to do my job. Communicating with others helps increase my knowledge, engage my intellect, and give birth to new opportunities. Pure fun is too absurd due to a certain reasoning.

Despite the fact that I interact with others, like some of my readers and apprentices, it does not mean I do so for socializing. I merely do so to survive (to avoid existential dread), and to contribute (when it comes to readers who want to initiate productive interactions with me).

Actually, I experience "pure fun" differently than most people... I may become very depressed as a result. Seeking pure fun made me very nihilistic.

As a philosopher, I find it immoral to deceive others. This is why I come clean with the fact that I am not interested in friends, and that I see no one as my friend... not any longer, at least. I will not lie to others that I'm their friend, when I'm not. The truth hurts, but as a philosopher it is my moral duty to be honest as far as I can. The philosopher is a blunt speaker, and not a people pleaser.

By being a solitary "creature", it does mean that I am a narcissist, and not all solitary people are necessarily narcissists. I do not, in any way, view myself as "the center of the universe", and I do not see any reason to treat other people as if they were pawns in a chessboard. Despite being asocial, I enjoy and find it important to donate to charity sometimes.

I want to be respected too, so I choose to respect others, by not deceiving them, that I am their friend. Would you find it respectful that your trust has been breached by someone you appreciate?

What is even socializing? For me at least, it means to talk with others for the primary sake of hanging out with them, to enjoy their company and not necessarily anything beyond that. I never really liked hanging out with others, even though there were exceptions.

If I am to hang out with others, I would not do so for that sake alone... I would seek additional reasons to do so. Intellectual stimulation and contribution to others, are good enough reasons for me, to interact with others, beyond just writing articles and poems.

Asociality and Work as a Philosopher

I don't like friendships because I do not want social fatigue to get in the way. If it weren't for it, then I would indeed consider be more a social person. However, since mental exhaustion hinders intellect, whether intended or not, I see little reason to interact with others just for the sake of socializing. Why would I want to hinder my brain? It's my work tool.

This isn't to say that friendships are necessarily, nor entirely, bad. However, different people have different preferences, and the fact that I don't want friends, doesn't mean, by itself, that I am either a narcissist or a misanthrope. I do not hate other human beings, and I do care for them, if caring would entail contribution.

That is, ultimately, my reasoning to interact with strangers across the world, like I do just now by writing this for you -- to contribute. If I was incapable of contributing, then my own justification for my own existence, would decrease significantly. And to live or to not live, will forever be my own choice.

If death can liberate me from fatigue and from not being able to contribute (should it ever be a reality), then I would indeed contemplate it. I'm not encouraging do to it for yourselves, no. Why would a person who wants to contribute, advocate suicide? It is counter-intuitive, is it not?

I had other plans in life before the the fatigue kicked in, from 2018 to mid-August 2023... I planned to be even more solitary than I am, and make a living from being a philosophy professor, just like the one I deem as my former master. However, since it lead me to create Philosocom, and because I want to help others with my own writings, then being less solitary, and more interactive with others, is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Final Words

If you have any other queries about this subject, feel free to make an account on this site and provide your comment. You can also provide your questions to my email address, which you can find at the bottom of this site. I leave it public for a purpose. I'll do my best to answer, if it would mean, that I will be able to contribute better.

I will end by this: The more-solitary people of the world are not necessarily depressed, shy, afraid, egotistical, anti-social and so on. We are just drained by social interactions, have other priorities in life, and do not exactly enjoy suffering from social fatigue. We wouldn't enjoy suffering as much as anyone else who is far more social than ourselves. Unless we're masochists, but being asocial does not make you a masochist.

It's time that we are to look beyond such stereotypes.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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