A life of solitude, while controversial and unacceptable by some, is usually a life of peace and tranquility. However, those who suffer from the product of their own counter-productive mindset may not be aware of the potential blissful feeling of serenity while alone, a concept I have described as "Bdiduta," translated as "Solitarus," in the Quadrilogy of the books of my native language.
(Solitarus/Bdiduta essentially means the love of solitude. The love of and acceptance of solitude into our lives as a likely possibility.)
A few years ago, a commenter criticized an article of mine about solitude, as the equivalent of submitting to the power and authority of the External World, a concept they titled defeatism.
I will tell you now, by logic, why a solitary life isn't necessarily an indication of defeatism, even if it could be at times, by giving you an example of a movie I just saw shortly ago, where the protagonist could have been saved from being defeated by the villain -- by seclusion.
The movie, while watching its first half, may likely give you the belief that the protagonist is, in fact, the villain, and the antagonist, the hero. That is what we, through the media, learn to see as the way of things, but since I don't want to give spoilers, I will refrain from revealing the movie's name.
Here is the logic behind why a solitary life isn't necessarily an indication of defeatism:
Solitude can be a way to escape from the negative aspects of the external world, such as noise, pollution, and stress.
Solitude can be a time for introspection and self-reflection, which can lead to personal growth and development.
Solitude can be a time to focus on one's own needs and desires, without the pressure of having to conform to the expectations of others.
Of course, solitude can also be a negative thing, if it leads to isolation, loneliness, and depression. However, if it is chosen for the right reasons, solitude can be a positive and enriching experience.
Either way, it seems that I am too irrelevant to be properly explained why they left me. I saw each and every one of them with great respect, for I have the loyalty of a dog. When I see a new follower or a new subscriber, I am filled with naïve love. I used to feel bad when someone unfollowed or unsubscribed, but as I learned that is inevitable.
But these women, you see, were more than internet followers. They were people I knew personally; people who were my friends. Two of them I have known since middle school. And yet, perhaps that duration of time is too insufficient for them to respect me like I respected them, or even close to that degree, if at all.
If you are going to abandon someone you have known for a long time, at least give them a reason which will satisfy them! Abandoning without doing so is like a partial form of ghosting! Do you not see the pain behind my urge for revenge? Being left in the dark is hurtful, and I will make them pay for not showing me the light, by making myself a beacon to the world to recognize me and my contribution to it!
If I will be left in ignorance, then at least I'll make something out of it; a motivator; an ambition; a utilized anger. I will not demand them to give me the reasons I was eagerly seeking, because it is too late to do so, and their consent is beyond my control.
However, in compensation, I have an entire adult lifetime to show them that they should've done otherwise; that they should've respected me, and not treat me like a dirt beneath their feet.
I'm done with seeking love; I'm done with seeking friendships. Even if you are loyal as a dog, nothing ensures you won't be kicked in the guts by those whom you have considered your friends.
When your energies are left unsatisfied, uninvested, unanswered, they will either fade away or stay in storage within you, not letting go. Something must be done to let them out finally, because if I won't do so, they will forever haunt my mentality.
