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On the Solitary Lifestyle and the Idea of Defeatism -- Why Solitude Isn't Necessarily About Giving Up

Updated: Mar 11


A military office sitting in the middle of an antarctic wasteland.

Solitude as Sanctuary, not Surrender


A life of solitude, while controversial and unacceptable to some, can offer peace and tranquility. However, those trapped in counterproductive mindsets may not grasp the potential bliss of serenity found in being alone, a concept I've explored as "Bdiduta" ("Solitarus") in my native language quadrilogy. (Solitarus/Bdiduta essentially signifies the love of and acceptance of solitude as a viable life path).


In response to an article I wrote about solitude, a commenter equated it with succumbing to the power of the External World, labeling it "defeatism." Let me, through logic and personal experience, explain why a solitary life isn't inherently defeatist, even if it might occasionally be.


Here's why solitude isn't necessarily defeatist:

Of course, solitude can also have a negative side, leading to loneliness and depression. However, it's crucial to avoid letting solitude tip into isolation. When chosen for the right reasons, solitude can be a positive and enriching experience. A sanctuary to what you can control and not necessarily surrender to what you cannot control.


By shedding light on the misconceptions surrounding solitude, we can empower individuals to embrace its potential for peace, growth, and personal fulfillment. After all, "Solitarus" about isn't defeatism; it's a conscious choice to craft a life aligned with one's own needs and desires,whether or not it goes against the external world's desires and expectations of you.


For your life belongs to you, in a world largely devoid of slavery (even though, according to the global slavery index, slavery is still a problem worldwide).


From Loyal Dog to Luminous Beacon: Transforming Betrayal into Brilliance


The gnawing silence from once-familiar faces feels like a betrayal carved into my soul, as different people experience pain differently. Each "unfollow" and "unsubscribe" wasn't just a digital blip, it was a shard of ice piercing the warmth I'd naively built around them.


During the times where I was far more sensitive, these weren't fleeting internet features; they were people I'd held in high regard, as I was too empathic to not disregard (making high empathy a liability to an extent). And yet, perhaps that shared history wasn't enough for them to offer the same respect, not even a flicker of the loyalty I'd showered them with. Empathy isn't without its individual limits, and can be depleted over time like a fuel tank.


To vanish without a whisper, to abandon a bond forged over years, is a cruel form of ghosting, normalized under the contemporary era. For some, it feels like being stabbed in the back, left bleeding in the dark with only the unanswered questions for company. Haven't they seen the pain etched into my desperate need for answers? Or do they simply not care due to the modern factors of apathy?


The burning feelings of betrayal ignited a fire within me, a mix of hurt and defiance towards the man I once was. I might've been left in the dark, but I'll become my own light, a beacon that the world can't ignore. A beacon that can help others with insights. No longer will I beg nor depend my mental state on affection or chase the uncertainty of love and friendship, as a necessity for my mental state.


No. I'm done seeking validation from those who couldn't or don't want to see my worth. I'm done being thirsty for love. I will live either way, fueled by my hunger for work, power and contribution to hummanity. I will live despite the pain, and I will use adversity not for victimhood but as a source for greater strength.


In the shadows of my solitude, I will build an article empire, worthy of global relevance. My victory over years of pain, both physical and mental, will benefit all who wish to be benefitted.


No longer a dog, I become a Rain, Pourer of articles.

Revenge Through Reclamation


This isn't about revenge alone; it's about reclamation. I have an entire life to prove them wrong, to show them the magnitude of their loss. I'll build myself into a beacon, a testament to the resilience that blooms from the ashes of betrayal, caused by those who were too cowardly to stay and help. My energies, once yearning for their approval, will be channeled into a purpose that burns brighter than their silence.


I don't care for them anymore, because they refused caring for me. Whether or not they will understand, matters not to me. Instead, I'll channel my days to building a life that worships work, a life that screams of a man that mainly wants to contribute to others, and little else. They may have forgotten my loyalty, but the world will remember my growing, renovated legacy, long after both of our deaths.


I refuse caring for those who have no desire to care for me. I did so too much, and it was a waste of my time and energies. Through my solitary work I will use the past not as a grudge but as a fuel for a life full of devotion to others.


Because writing is a most solitary activity, also designated for self-discovery. When people use solitary activities to transform themselves into stronger, more capable beings, they are not defeatist escapists. No. They are people who seek to nurture power from within, in order to endure the hardships of life, more easily. And no matter what I will have to go through in life, I choose endurance.


And through my ascetic practice, I will reclaim the honor I once had at my days as a student. And this time, I will let no one stand in my path. Not even my skin hunger. For the blood of trauma survivors flows through my genes. And even when my country is at war, I refuse resorting to victimhood.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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