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Rejection As Inevitable and "Vengeful Altruism"

Updated: Feb 20

A stunning flying machine

When Privilege Overcomes Worth

In a world filled with many competitors in whatever aspect of life, being rejected is a natural thing, because it means there's always someone better than you to fill in the role/shoes -- or at least that's what is in the mind of the rejector.

The rejector can be anyone; an interviewer, a friend, a lover, or anyone else in a role that you are not entitled to, either by what you have, or by who you are. Even if your talents are superb, even if you are good-looking, and so on, their existence does not entitle you to anything you are not entitled to by having either money or by existing in a democracy.

What do I mean by money and democracy? Of course, buying your way into an interview is a bribe, and paying someone to be your friend or lover is either pathetic or borderline prostitution. However, you do not need to be accepted into a store to buy its wares, and you don't need to pay for your democratic rights if you live in a democracy. A society where you need to buy your way into things, even the most basic of them, is a corrupt plutocracy, where only the richest are the most privileged AND deserving of all.

Rejection as a Natural Pathway to Growth

What rejection can teach us is, that it does not always matter how wealthy or rich you are. This is because money is not always a relevant feature in every kind of interaction with others. Therefore, in the absence of this, rejection is and will remain something natural, whose existence depends not only on you but also on the preferences of the rejector.

For relationships are like a tango. They require the cooperation of communication. And a good communication is relevant to decrease the chances of rejections. And for that to occur, we need to make things clear with the other side, whether through intuition or literally, like I did in an article on communication.

Rejection can happen even after a lifetime of servitude. Marriages can always break apart, and if your company wishes to cut its expanses, you might be relieved as well, no matter how much you worked for it with loyalty. Thus, when the only wise decision is to accept it as natural -- because you may not deserve the things you might currently believe you do, regardless of the skills, experience, and traits you possess.

Society is a bunch of replaceable candidates. There is no higher sense of justice that will judge whether or not you will get the job, or if you will get the man or woman you desire. That sense of justice is the concept of meritocracy. Thus, rejection is inevitable because there is little justice in the world, beyond the notions of law and morality.

That is one of the reasons I became a monk, even if an atheist one (or, perhaps, specifically due to my atheism) -- because I had enough with the injustice and unfairness of the world, which I cannot control.

My Love Affair with Solitude

The only certainty in life lies in solitude, because you will always find yourself alone eventually. It is what will accept you when you return home after a day of work; the silence that you'll find yourself in when your partner falls asleep before you. It is inevitable for us to be alone, at one or more points in life. That includes mentally as well.

The concentration required while driving, which may disconnect you from the rest of the passengers... The concentration itself of a job that does not require much interaction, beyond necessary bodies such as your bosses and co-workers. Solitude is there in our lives in some way or another, whether we recognize its existence or not.

Try being in my shoes, and perhaps you'll understand better! Perhaps, at least, experiment with the idea theoratically.

When you become acquainted with solitude, it can help you in moments of rejection. Since I've experienced much rejection in my life -- from available positions, from love interests, and even from people I considered friends -- I now see little purpose in love, in friendship, and so on; in wanting more of this world beyond what I already have.

Embracing Contribution Despite the Pain

However, if I'm going to go away from this world, in the form of hermitage and eventually in death, at least I will do so with a boom. My writings and this site are and will be a way to tell the world the following: "Regardless of the fact that you have rejected me so much, I will take my revenge on you by showing that you have underestimated my worth".

Thus, you can call me a "vengeful altruist", because my desire to contribute is filled with vengeance, which I find legitimate. Find useful. It's a reply; another attempt to show my worth; a way to hopefully broadcast, in the minds of others, that I am more important than they took me to be.

That's what I'm left with, in a world where very few truly love me for who I truly am.

And in what other way can I do so, by contributing to the world in a legitimate manner? Even if I have been spat upon, I can still choose to not give up, even if I internalized the cruel, unfair nature of this world.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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