On Absurdity -- Life In the Q Continuum

The Q Continuum was an extra-dimensional plane of existence inhabited by a race of beings known as the Q. The term could also refer to the Q society itself. As a race, the Q were immortal, but not absolutely omniscient or omnipotent (according to Quinn). They possessed the ability to alter, create, or destroy virtually any form of matter or energy, and to affect time in essentially any way they chose. -- Memory Alpha

(Directory on Nihilism: https://www.philosocom.com/post/the-irony-of-nihilism)

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Introduction

The creation of Philosocom Article Empire was an attempt by me to create meaning in a meaningless universe. Hours upon hours, days upon days I created article after article as a means to chase meaning that was always fleeting no matter how many articles I wrote. Deep inside of me I have a sense of meaninglessness and emptiness that never seems to go away; only repressed through the act of creation. And thus, I labored and labored and did far more than just writing; I also meddled with the destiny of others by leading them and saving some of them from taking their own lives -- Still, all from a Sisyphean attempt to carve the sweet, sweet feeling of meaning in a meaningless universe.

And by writing this article, I aim to do the exact same thing I did all these years.

On Human "Godhood"

I am no God. Only a man with a deep sense of emptiness that has interfered with so many lives for his own meaningful gratification. I am detached from the society I am in, never managed to fit in, and never wanted to, either. All I want to do is to rectify the world as a coping mechanism to the fact that the universe is objectively meaningless.

I prevented the destined deaths of several people but that does not make me a savior nor a god. I simply didn't have the heartlessness to let them die, and I am no heartless being. In fact, my heart leads me to serve my articles for free because I believe the truth deserves to be served heartfully. Philosocom is, ultimately, a work of passion, and the passion is to carve as much meaning as I can, so the feelings of meaninglessness will be gone for as long as possible.

However, being an absolute outsider allows me to meddle with the destinies of many with ease. Saving lives was easy for me, even if it triggered PTSD. Leading many was easy, even if it caused me paranoia eventually. Since society has no leverage on me, I can do whatever I want, and that, technically, makes me more powerful than the average person.

Still, with great power comes great responsibility, and I hold accountability for the lives I saved and the people I led and still lead. It feels satisfying, leading the unique life I had, in a Q Continuum of my own, a metaphysical layer of reality I have created by creating and ruling over Philosocom.

Between Meaning and Boredom

When I reach a full gratification of meaning, I eventually get bored, and when the boredom reaches its climax, I seek meaning once more. I am like a Sisyphus of meaning, who works not for money but for the sweet release of meaningfulness. Meaning is what I want ultimately, a resource that is always fleeting. However, when it is reached, it leads to boredom eventually. It is like Schopenhauer's Pendulum...

Life isn’t a journey. It isn’t progress. It isn’t destiny unfolding like some golden road. According to Arthur Schopenhauer, life is a pendulum. One side is pain. The other is boredom. Back and forth, forever. -- David Johnson

And that has been my life ever since I discovered Nihilism as a child, and that has changed me permanently. A pendulum between the pain of meaninglessness and the idleness of boredom. That is the nature of the Q Continuum I am in. It is a form of prison I willingly put myself in, but one where I am the freest, I can be, ironically.

What's the Point?

The point is to ultimately contribute to anyone reading this. For me, contribution is the ultimate form of meaningfulness, because it touches people, which is meaningful. I am, ultimately, a man-machine looking to extract meaning through work and serve it to you. It is a passive feedback loop I created so I could give meaning even when I'm not doing anything. Because as long as I am read, I possess the power to give meaning to you. And through that, I rectify the world passively, while I sleep, while I pursue my favorite hobby of watching videos and so on and on.

In the end, while contributing to you, I do it for my gratification. A combination between selfishness and altruism. Many don't get to chase what makes them satisfied; only that which allows them to survive. Since my survival is ensured, I am the exception to the many, because I chase satisfaction. And since satisfaction is always fleeting, I will always seek to write eventually, and be a "Salaryman" of Philosocom, dedicated to this site for the rest of my life.

Stuck in a Lifelong Loop

This leads to the conclusion that I am always stuck chasing after something that is fleeting (meaning), with no way out but death. And as Albert Camus said, one must imagine Sisyphus happy. Fortunately, I don't need to imagine him happy; I already am happy from the fact that I get to do what makes me happy the most -- creating and preserving a legacy for all to see.

Still, none of this changes the fact that this life, this universe, is absurd. No matter how many articles I will write, the universe will stay absurd. Even if I will meddle with the destinies of more people, and alter the time in which they were to die, the universe will stay meaningless. That is the one thing I cannot rectify. I can only create and rule over a self-contained kingdom of meaning.

However, the reaction to a meaningless universe can be changed from depressing to liberating. The fact that the universe is meaningless is what allows this Q continuum of mine to run in the first place, and that is what allows people to disregard what is conventionally seen as meaningful, and design their own pocket dimensions instead. Also, it allows them to question what is deemed necessary in the first place.

As long as people will deem what is shared as meaningful, from the pursuit of money to the pursuit of luxury, they will continue to give power to the exact thing that keeps them stuck in the rat race of life.

And I prefer to be stuck in a continuum that gives me meaning and happiness than a shared continuum that trades one's happiness for a piece of paper, or a digital number on a screen.

Pick your poison. Eventually you may come to realize that you're stuck in a prison planet, with the only ultimate liberator being death. And as to how I saved these lives, I told them why they should live and not die yet.

Even if we stuck here, we ultimately have a choice in how to lead our lives and what to do with them. Realize this, and you'll be able to pick a path that truly gives you, personally, that sweet, sweet feeling of happiness and meaningfulness.

In the end, saving these lives had made me realize that this world makes people want to die. I made my decision to withdraw from the world. Do with this fact as you see fit.