Explaining My Motives -- From Saving My Grandmother to World Rectification

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Introduction

I wish to be clear about my motives as a moral man. As such, I decided to write this article, where I come clean about the reasoning of my actions. Although I explained much of the reasoning behind my motives in the poem "The Heisenberg of Philosophy -- Within a Shadowy Intellect", this article can be seen as a spiritual successor to said poem, where I elaborate even further. I hope that by writing this article, no unconscious obscuration will remain, and that the mystery behind myself and Philosocom will be further unveiled.

Why I Saved My Grandmother

As a kid I saw her isolation and decided I wanted the isolation for my own. Therefore I studied under her as a kid to learn what made her solitary. I never told her this, and she passed away without me telling her my true reasoning behind my actions, and saving her eventually made me amnesiac for 18 years, further solidifying the mystery behind my actions.

I saved her because I needed her alive to further know why she was solitary. If I wanted to lead a life of isolation like she did, I needed to save her. As such, I did it, causing myself amnesia and chronic pains. My sacrifice was never recognized by my extended family, and only my mother thanked me for saving her. I guess my extended family was never strong to admit the immense failure that is letting a child witness a Harakiri attempt, so they preferred to deny reality like the weaklings they are.

The Incompetency of Her Death

She died in 2012 after months of being in a vegetative state. The reasoning for being in it was because, on her way to visit her doctor, she collapsed and there was no defibrillator present in the building to save her. The reasoning of her death, therefore, was the incompetence of the institution she went to. Had they have a defibrillator, my dear grandmother would've lived several more years.

This further solidified my isolation and disdain for this world, after realizing that many would prefer the pursuit of capital over investing some of it to help the needy.

The Way I Avenge Her

As I wrote in the poem I mentioned:

Nothing will, ever bring her back.

Improving the world, is my counter attack.

I avenge her death by trying to make the world a better place, AKA, World Rectification. The thing is, I don't really care about this world, which I forsaken years ago. I am too disgusted by it and by how it works to truly care. Thus, beyond my online contributions through Philosocom I truly don't want to have anything with this world. I want to help people as means to avenge her death, and then be left alone. I don't want any attachments, any deeper relations with anyone besides the inner circle of followers that I cultivated and that help Philosocom grow as a website.

I derive joy from avenging her death through helping people. I do it purely for my own amusement. Had I not enjoyed helping people, I wouldn't bother doing it in the first place.

How Come The Site has Many Writers

In 2023 I rose to power over many people. 2023-2024 is when I helped people the most, not only by giving them work on the site but also saving people from despair. In total, I saved 6. Besides my grandmother, all the people I saved contributed to Philosocom in some way.

In 2024 I decided to lay off my medications, leading to a brief but significant "Unmedicated Era" where the site knew extreme creative output on my end that resulted from my former madness. However, that madness was also expressed in paranoia, which caused me to severe ties with much of the site's writers via deleting my former social media accounts. For my mental health, leaving social media was one of the best decisions I ever made, even if under paranoia, but it also came at the sacrifice of having even more writers to the site. Social media was, after all, how I gathered all these writers, and some of their articles I syndicated from the platforms themselves, while rewarding them for their work.

Supreme stability has been achieved back when I got better meds, but I digress.

Why I Seek to Rectifying the World

Like helping people, I do it purely for my own amusement. However, I know it is also the right thing to do, despite its Sisyphean nature -- there will always be something to rectify. You might ask that if I don't care about this world, why I seek to rectify it? The answer is simple: It is possible to help the world from a detached state, and I deeply care about doing the right thing; of being better than this morally depraved world.

It also satisfies my revenge quest from my late grandmother's incompetent death. If the world was too incompetent at saving her, then I will do my part at making the world a better place. That is how I choose to right the wrong, refusing to be like the very mall that was too greedy to put a defibrillator to save her.

Why I No Longer Seek Relevance

My quest for relevance, which served as a fuel for revenge under my amnesia, has been satisfied completely. Without me, people would've been dead either by their own hands or by circumstance. That is enough for me to attain relevancy. I don't seek fame, validation or glamour. I sought relevancy by doing important things, which in this case were heroic. They were enough to satisfy my revenge on the person who claimed I was irrelevant.

If I wasn't called irrelevant, I wouldn't bother to rise to power and help a lot of people, meaning several people would've been dead. Since I'm not in connection with most of them, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are dead at this point, as saving is temporary. At least I'm glad that I did my part at making their world a better place, even for a little while.

What I'm Doing in 2026 And Forward

With my quest to avenge my late grandmother's death largely satisfied, my need to write has largely been quenched. As such I don't write like I used to. My need to write has also been quenched because of another reason -- reaching well over 1000 articles -- my need for self-actualization has largely been fulfilled.

Because of the quenched drive, I resorted to living a simple life of a retired man; living simply and peacefully. Knowing well that the world is beyond repair, I at least take solace in doing my little part by investing into Philosocom and giving work to my inner circle.

I still wish to be left alone, and the solitude I'm having is most blissful.