Confessions of a Lonely Man

Confessions of a Lonely Man

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As of January 2026, I am 28. It amazes me how dystopian the world has become. People earn the same wages, but the living expanse goes up; The world is becoming more and more unstable politically and in terms of security; Capitalism reaches its end, making way for Techno-Feudalism.

And what I did all this time? I confined myself to solitude because that's where is I feel the safest. I feel that the world is a threat, and I should keep to myself. In other words, all this time I've been building my own world -- Philosocom -- where I get to rule as (retired) Sovereign.

Following my own passion in life, I don't really earn from what I'm doing, but at least I get to do work that fulfills me and gives me a sense of purpose. In many cases I've considered to give up on all this massive project. However, writing is what ultimately makes me happy and fulfilled. I am glad I have the opportunity to pursue what I like doing the most in a world that's increasingly becoming more and more dystopian.

And yet, following one's own passions, in this case, has a drawback -- isolation. When you do something that makes you happy by yourself, you end up alone. And as such I ended up losing friends I had along the path of Philosocom because I was too stubborn on working on it rather than pleasing them.

The internet is not what it's used to be. AI is taking over cyberspace, shaping it to create mostly junk content, and many website owners, from the number of dead links the site has been gathering, are giving up on their passion. Social media doesn't help, and many people prefer to stay in social media platforms, doomscrolling away their lives for algorithms that steal their privacy and know exactly what content to cater to them.

My partner told me that I might regret giving up on Philosocom, and she's right. Writing is what ultimately makes me happy, even if it is a solitary activity.

My "profession" as Ruler of Philosocom, as you can see, is isolating due to many factors and reasons. Human writing becomes scarce, people are giving up on websites, AI takes over, and social media keeps users trapped in algorithmic mazes. And of course, since the world is becoming more dystopian, people have less and less time to read, not to mention that their attention span is decreasing, making blogging all the rarer and more solitary path to lead.

However, what can I do? Writing is what makes me happy in the end. I have a need for it. It gives me meaning, and I enjoy contributing to the very world I retired from, even though this world makes me disgusted.

Sometimes I wish I had more connections. The main area of life where I had friends was when I was a child. I often yearn for the 2000's, missing an era that will not return. My hermitage is practically a pocket dimension of 2000's nostalgia, where I surf the web as means to eradicate my boredom, exactly like I did back then when I was a child.

I know I have it well that I don't have to work in order to live. But it gets lonely when you are mainly live in your home and rarely go out. I don't really like going out. I view the world as a threat. I view this world as a threat just as I did 20 years ago, when I was a child growing up in a modest neighbourhood when I was told to not go late at night outside.

At the height of my power as Ruler, I grew paranoid. I was afraid that I might go out and get stabbed. As such, I sabotaged my social media empire, and deleted all social media accounts. Knowing that my voice and images may get misused against me by deep fake AI technology, I ultimately proceeded to delete my YouTube channel. I always struggled with social interactions, and my intelligence marked the world as an enemy to rectify via good deeds.

I don't want friends. A man with few connections or no connections at all is a very secure man. I wish to play it safe in life and not destroy what I have with friends that might take me to paths I might regret later on. Friends smoke, friends drink, friends may comply to make you do things you don't want to do, AKA peer pressure. I was always a rebel, always a non-conformist. My teacher in 6th grade told me with sad eyes that I need to partake in society in order to survive. However I managed to prove her wrong. I'm too smart for my own good.

And all of this ends up with the fact that those who pursue what they truly like in life, even in a world where such an activity is decaying and becomes obsolete, end up alone in life, just like I did. If you want company, you need to compromise. You might find yourself having to give up on parts of yourself just to fit in. I always saw fitting in as a nihilistic death sentence that "kills" a part of yourself indefinitely. And I didn't want that. I wanted to keep my flame alive. I wanted, and still want to, rebel. Because what makes me happy -- the art of writing articles -- is fading away into irrelevancy. And I, a dedicated craftsman, who created a site with 1000 articles, is fighting an uphill battle to do what truly makes me fulfilled and actualized. And as much as I was tempted to give up, writing these words on the keyboard is the only type of "work" that gives me true pleasure and fulfillment. And that is something AI will never be able to take away from me.

A former friend laughed at me for having a website. Pursuing my passion just happens to be something that's becoming obsolete in society, as people's attention spans are getting smaller, and more addicted to short-form content.

My passions have led me up a solitary route. And it makes me happy. In the end, isn't it all what matters? That what we do make us happy? Yes, long ago I wrote an article that working on this site's success matters to me more than happiness. However, I succeeded in doing so much good in the world, so many people benefitted from what I did to them, that at this point I just want to be happy in a world whose dystopian growth worries me to the bone.

Shouldn't people do what makes them happy? In this Tehcno-Feaudalistic world, what matters is that you work like a pig to maintain your subscriptions and your rent. A truly sad reality for many. They say that you'll own nothing and be happy, but how can one be happy in a world that's becoming increasingly dystopian and cyberpunk-like? How is living like a serf to corporate overlords make one happy? What makes one happy, ultimately, is pursuing one's passions, and for that, you need the resources, the time, and the bravery to do so. To rebel against what is expected of you, and learn not to care what others think of you, while also being able to afford your passions in the first place.

I don't like how the way the world turns. Even if I end up even more solitary than what I already am, I will continue marching to my own drum, continue doing what makes me happy, because living a life where you chase money is, for many, not a fulfilling life, and that includes myself. Chasing money, just to live another day? How can one call that a life worth living? One needs a purpose to be happy. And happiness is highly subjective. The dystopian, conventional world is limiting the different, diverse ways one can attain happiness, making such an emotion scarce and hard to find.

People need to create their own worlds. People need to OWN their own worlds. That is one big way to be happy for many. If people got the chance to create under their own terms, instead of creating for survival's sake and for their company's sake, many could attain happiness. They would look at what they created and feel proud, just like I'm feeling while writing this article.

I grew up in the rebelliousness of the 2000's. These were times of virtual and cultural, radical freedoms. People wouldn't get cancelled online, and the freedom of expression was far more in abundance. Nowadays, using the freedom of expression can cost one his or her job, his or her social position, his or her family. And in such a dystopian world, if one wants to be free, isolation is the tax to pay. Even if you're lonely, at least you are free.