Why I Don't Regret Leaving the Metropolis
Updated: Sep 13
Leaving the metropolitan area of my home country was probably one of the best choices I've made in my life, and I still see no reason to think otherwise. In the rural region of my hermitage, life is less stressful, and I can work better than ever before, in the absence of much excessive noise. I did not leave for economic reasons, although the cost of living in the Israel is very high and everything's expensive here and many israelies are poor.
I left to find peace. All my life I have suffered from shouting and loud noises, even when I am indoors and not outside, so I have had a very hard time most of my life because of it. And the thing is, the people around me didn't care about my suffering.
When you fail or refuse to care for others around you, you alienate them from you. In certain cases it can lead to unnecessary disputes and conflicts. Thus, showing empathy for people in distress is key to help them, instead of calling to repress their emotions, which is unhealthy. In a professional setting, repression may be far more legitimate, but I digress.
As long as I did not shout at myself, people did not complain, and felt free to turn my life into a nightmare, as the country's rules allow them to do so until 11 PM. Israel is a Kakistokracy and as such it cares little about morality. It can be true among some Israeli citizens as well. There is no such thing as a social responsibility in a metropolis either way. The mentality is just different.
Back in the big city, there were nights I had to sleep in the living room because the neighbors across the wall were making noise. I once shouted in rage, because I wanted some peace, and they laughed. Only when I played the piano did people have anything to say, regardless of the fact that yes, I too could "make a noise until 11 at night." Why should the average tenant, after all, care, as long as they themselves do not break the law?
And with this poor sense of morality, the next generations are raised to work and lead their nations. With the sense of uncompromising, inconsiderate self-interest. Many of them may go to work just to earn money and could care little about the service they provide, as long as they earn their keep.
The years 2016-2020 were the worst in my life due to the neighbors, and this after I moved apartment because of the neighbors before. This eventually led to a conflict that led to the decision that we leave the metropolis and not return. It is sad that a person with a misophonia has to move apartments just because the environment is not willing to understand, nor care, about what he has.
I used to be a physical handicap for a year (2022-2023). I found out that people were more considerate when I used a cane than when I complained about sound sensitivity. We can deduce that there are disabilities that matter more and matter less. Mental illness may matter less and even be condemned.
I even sent these former neighbors a letter, saying I am extremely sensitive to noise. I only received antipathy from them, as if it was my fault that I was born with it. But in a sense, "it is", only because it's not their problem, is it? The education system may not teach us enough about the importance of social responsibility, and that's how many people may grow up: Many of them may care only if they risk violating the law. And yet, the freedom that the law gives is better than considering other people, at least in the eyes of some people. It's only because the risk of being sent to jail or involved with the police is more severe than the agony of a neighbor with a special need for less noise.
My development in the shadow of all the shouts I heard and absorbed from the outside world, shaped me to be a depressed, anxious, and melancholic person, struggling against the temptation of misanthropy.
All the suffering I experienced from other people made me think: Why appeal to, or desire, the world when the world in general does not care about you and your distress? I have remained very careful in contact with the outside world.... But no longer. No longer, because I can't change this world. I can only prove my relevance in it, by asserting my presence and contribution to it.
It does not matter that I live alone in a hermitage. It matters that I can still contact this world without having my ears abused. It matters that I can use my intellect to contribute to humanity and help people with my insights. I will not let the toxicity of humanity stand in my path for World Relevance. As long as I am not evil, no one has any reason to stand in my way.
There seems to be a lot more confidence and certainty in solitude than in human company, when you live in a culture of people who usually like to be loud than considerate. Who is the overly-sensitive person, after all, if not but a "cotton wool"? A "snowflake"?
One teacher once called me "cotton wool." If I ever come in contact with him again, I will not be submissive anymore. I will be more assertive than him. More confident than him. With my inner-murder technique, I changed my mentality, and am no longer the sensitive, overgrown boy I used to be. In some cases, emotionality is a weakness to be taken care of.
I was too much of a weakling to endure the metropolis, and suffered in accordance to my unwillingness to toughen up. I learned from my mistakes. I learned from my scars. Now as head of Philosocom, I will strive to be the better man. A more capable man. A less whiny man. It had to be done in the name of survival, but also in the name of future prosperity. Of my prosperity, and of my successors. The agony and the pain no longer intimidate me. I used trauma as construction bricks. I am, nowadays, stronger.
At that time I realized that in the urban world, if anything ever happened to me, not many would care, except those who know you. I am not saying that every "city rat" is inhuman, but the urban mentality is very cold, even if it is human life, when we were dealing with strangers.
Like with a certain woman, I want to be better than the average "city rat". Better... morally.
The periphery, where I have never lived, made me feel what I did not feel in my first 22 years — that people you do not know actually care for your existence. I go to the grocery store and the cashier asks for my wellbeing (and waits for me to answer), the neighbors sometimes leave us fruits at our doorsteps out of generosity only, and my cat can go out and walk around without having to worry for his life (I once saw a man violently kicking a cat rubbing against his legs back in the city).
A certain man, back in the city, has left me crying after he threathened to kill me and no one bothered to contact me and ask about my condition. No one even bothered to intervene during the abuse.
Based on all my experiences in the city, I can say that I do not want to live there anymore, even though I have lived there for 22 years of my life. The rural areas that is ideal for everyone, even if the living conditions here are better than in the metropolis. Cities offer more job opportunities, and recreational areas, you know. Especially metropolises. If your philosophy of life is that of hedonism, feel free to remain there.
The metropolis is certainly not suitable for people who are more sensitive than usual, or people who have disabilities that are never easy to understand, such as Asperger's syndrome or other mental disorders. Some might not consider Asperger's/Autism, not as a mental disorder, but as an expression of neurodiversity. However, due to the sensory problems it causes me, I deem it a disorder in my case.
Why? Because it stood in my way, that's why. If something needs to be changed within me in order for me to endure life better, and I can change it, then I will work to change it. Simple as that, at least in theory.
Moving to the periphery, is not something that only helps with money. It can be great for the wellness of the mind if you are a person who is naturally looking for peace.
I mainly enjoy using my hermitage as a place to work on Philosocom as well, undisturbed by no one. As an a-social being I am also very industrious. Utilizing the peacefulness of this region, I also have a strategy for living life.
Learn from me, and you can see how practical philosophy can truly be.