Trying to Solve Simping With Reason -- The Unnecessary Dependence
Updated: Nov 20
Simping: A Disturbing Phenomenon
Simping is a recent internet slang term that describes a very disturbing phenomenon: It's when someone shows excessive sympathy and attention toward another person, typically someone who does not share the same feelings, in pursuit of affection or a sexual relationship.
Simping is not just about developing an obsession, but also an irrational one. For example, there was an internet celebrity who sold her bath water to her fans. Some of her fans bought her bath water because she had bathed in it. They wanted to feel like they were close to her.
Reality vs. Fiction
Reality can be stranger than fiction in terms of its impact on one's mentality. Perhaps it should be no surprise, then, that people who need intimacy find unusual ways to fill their void. Like buying someone else's used bath water. Like having a personalized body pillow (known as a dakimakura). I've seen pictures online of people gathering with those. Some of them may call said pillows "2D women".
The Irony of Simping
The irony of all of this is that simping is often used for mockery. As a meme. Specifically, men are often called simps for showing excessive sympathy to women. This is ironic because simping can be seen as a form of emotional abuse, as women may exploit men's simping for their own gain.
I've heard that men, particularly fans, may donate large sums of money to women on livestreams. Livestreams are essentially a live recording of videos where people can participate in a chat and also donate during the recording. I'm explaining this because I know I have a wide range of audiences, and some might not know. While people are, of course, allowed to donate on their own accord, it's unfortunately possible to cash-in on people's feelings of loneliness by using said feelings for manipulation.
As such, "deep" para-social relationships may be formed between the livestreamer and his/her fans, but while said fans may feel emotionally connected to their virtual idol, the idol might be faking their emotional attachment towards them, so they would large sums of money. This could in turn lead to an unhealthy dependence that can drain one's bank account, similar to the many casino-esque games found on your smartphones.
Feel free to research this further on your own, as it might be a global phenomenon. Simping may indeed be a global phenomenon, with its potential, contemporary origins in Japan, a nation where the young may struggle in dating particularly.
In our increasingly interconnected world, cultural distinctions may blur, leading to the assimilation of certain behaviors or trends across various regions. This is why some communities may choose to isolate themselves in an effort to preserve their unique traditions, for modernity has an unquestionable affect on anyone expose to its innovation.
You are welcome to explore this topic further. While I may be a philosopher, others possess the capacity for independent thought as well (obviously). I wish my readership to be curious enough to read even outside of Philosocom, as it deserves insights from multiple sources.
It's plausible that the world is grappling with an "epidemic of loneliness". Individuals with low self-esteem may struggle with social anxiety and forming meaningful connections with other people, leading to them feeling alienated and misunderstood. They may lack the courage and discipline, necessary to foster self-confidence. It is through overcoming our shyness and social fears that allow us to open up to new people, even at the risk of our emotions being hurt. Overreliance on external validation, such as likes and followers, can hinder their ability to validate themselves internally.
When you rely yourselves too much on external proof for your importance as an individual, you became unnecessarily vain, but that's beside the point. You also create an unnecessary dependency just to feel powerful enough to initiate meaningful connections with others.
As such, coming from a poor social background, lacking decent clothes, and even not having as "enough" followers on social media, unnecessarily hinders you from being less lonely. However, it's as long as you believe that these external characteristics are imperative for your own confidence to actually decrease your loneliness in the physical world.
The virtual realm of humanity cuts the so-called "middle man" of fostering genuine human relationships, by making it very easy to make countless, shallow connections with others. That includes people online whom you may begin simping for. This leads to the next problem: Believing that the connections you build online are absolutely deep even though it's not likely to be that way in most times.
The internet is an easy place to conceal your true identity and your true thoughts and feelings, which makes it easy, unfortunately, to manipulate others' genuine thoughts and emotions. By the same token, the person you may be simping for might not care for you at all, only pretending that they do because being admired is part of their job. The job that involves, you know, getting you to donate to them and help them make a living. The online personality is biased towards people-pleasing because they want to either survive, get an extra income, or even get rich.
How, then, could such a relationship be genuine when it is beneficial to at least one side to be dishonest to a degree?
Loneliness is solved by honest relationships with people, not with connections based on business interests. A manager-employee relationship is not a friendship. The same goes for teacher-student relationships. Even mentors are not necessarily friends.
Loneliness is solved through emotional means, not through logical interests. Once the interest has been fulfilled you might as well be disposed or seperated at the very least. Your relationship with your idol is unfortunately the same as the idol/streamer/whatever has interests that are not emotion-based but logic-based, starting from money, and ending in wanting their egos to be fed.
The Internet's Narcissistic Influence
I suspect that the internet has cultivated a culture of narcissism. Individuals may base their self-worth on the number of followers they amass on social media platforms. They may, with great dedication, track their follower count, obsessing over gains and losses.
In pursuit of an fleeting sense of fulfillment, some individuals may resort to obsessive cosmetic surgeries, believing that a perfect physical appearance is the key to unlocking their confidence. They seek happiness through muscularity, fitness, and attractiveness, yearning for external approval, recognition, and validation.
It's the same influence that may drive influencers to encourage and normalize a culture of simping as well, for the root of a narcissistic mentality lies in a deep, internal void. Even though many of us do not have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the roots to NPD are, ultimately, environmental.
See how we are driven by misery that can be solved by solving our fears.
Fear of Pain Drives Our Actions
Pain, or rather the fear of it, seems to greatly influence our behavior. We dread the possibility of experiencing pain again, leading us to seek alternative means of fulfilling our needs without the associated discomfort.
Body pillows, for instance, cannot inflict pain, insult us, or inflict emotional wounds. They cannot replicate the traumas we have endured throughout our lives.
Moreover, body pillows are incapable of divorce, betrayal, or rejection. Human relationships, by their very nature, are unpredictable and subject to change and emotional damage. We do not exist within an impenetrable bubble of safety. Danger, harm, and pain can materialize at any moment, echoing Sartre's assertion that "Hell is other people."
Our hedonistic cultures discourage discomfort and that's very unfortunate, because it is through struggle that we can grow and become stronger, either physically or mentally. I purposefully choose to live like a monk, spending the vast majority of my time working on Philosocom, because I understand the importance of being mentally tough. It is through toughness that loneliness can be solved as well, by not fearing being hurt again.
In the name of building my empire, I am prepared to suffer, and escapism is the anti-thesis of coping with the pains of human reality.
And he or she who are not strong enough to face other human beings, will never enjoy the fruits of being in their company and cooperating with them. Simps unfortunately fail to understand this, and instead shower their sympathy to others, thinking that is the key to a genuine relationship, and as such, to their own liberation from loneliness and emptiness.
Body pillows are poor substitues for true human companionship, as well as having AI for a lover. The simp searches for these substitutes because they are unwilling to form the very connections they need.
Human connections are not based on desperate emotions, nor on buying one's affection with unrealistic amounts of money. They are forged by knowing each other authentically, without needing to resort to desperate measures to get one's attention.
Hedonism's Delusional Escape
I believe many of us fail to recognize the absurd nature of hedonism. Indulging in unhealthy pleasures, even if they provide momentary gratification, can ultimately lead to harmful consequences. Just as pain is an unavoidable aspect of life, so too is suffering. However, at least you can suffer for something, as success requires sacrifice.
Either way, the pursuit of a pain-free existence is an illusion, because we will never be free from pain as long as we're be able to feel it. Reality dictates that most, if not all, individuals will experience pain, not once or twice, but potentially on multiple occasions. This pain extends beyond the physical realm, and may include mental anguish as well.
Desire joy as the supreme emotion in life, and you'll ironically find yourself suffer as you try forming meaningful friendships with others. Joy is merely one emotion from a wide spectrum of the human heart. Repress your undesired human emotions and you will repress the many features inevitably found in genuine human relationships.
And as stated before, you cannot form honest relationships without being authentic. Pretend to be someone else, just to please someone you adore, and you may find yourself lonely despite being a dedicated simp. Many human relationships are failed from the start because some people may prefer joy and excitement over the truth.
Embracing Pain: A Journey of Self-Discovery
I practice asceticism with a specific purpose: to cultivate inner strength and resilience. When you experience the same muscle pains for over a decade, every waking moment is always filled with discomfort. Perhaps it's time to accept their existence, especially if every attempt to cure them has proven futile.
I speak from personal experience.
Pain, in itself, is not a definitive verdict on our lives. It merely reflects a state of being, a relationship we can choose to transform to other activities such as this very work! I use pain to write because pain is a lack of satisfaction. And as long as I won't be satisfied, I'll be motivated to work!
Ultimately, much of our pains may not pose any real danger to our existence. Perhaps writing in a particular style, or expressing ourselves in a certain manner, does not have to threaten our sense of well-being. Maybe there is no need to feel threatened, to perceive danger, when there might be no actual threat to our lives.
Perhaps anxiety can be alleviated through the application of reason, even at times of war.
Rejection is an unpleasant experience for most, unless one gains pleasure from self-inflicted pain. In reality, as long as we interact with others, the possibility of rejection cannot be entirely eliminated. It may manifest as minor setbacks, significant disappointments, or seemingly insignificant discardings.
This is how these phenomena can be interconnected: People may resort to simping due to a lack of self-confidence. They may lack the capacity or the willingness to endure the discomfort of rejection.
They may fear the truth.
The simple truth is that confidence can be cultivated through persistent effort, under the notion that this effort is justified by its ends -- that the ends justifies the means of trying. Confidence to manage anxiety, confidence to regulate emotions that might overwhelm others. Confidence... that is independent of external validation.
After all, rejection is fundamentally different from other hostile experiences. It poses far less danger than our emotions may lead us to believe. Building confidence requires an understanding of reason and a reduced reliance on emotional impulses.
And perhaps, yes? Just perhaps. Perhaps being rejected by someone we love... is not as severe as many other cases found in the human experience? In other words, maybe we may overestimate rejection, and as a result, may not be willing to form genuine, friendly, nice connections?
What are even the chances that you will meet the idol that you simp for? What are the chances they will be your friend, when they might already have plenty of other fans to praise them?
...What if you are not important to them, like they are important to you?