Save Yourself, Jin (Story)

(Philosocom's Directory on Luck)

(Background music)

There once lived a man, in a small village. His name was Jin.

When Jin was born, he was cursed by the gods with a terrible mental illness, that turns him into a monster every time most people get to him.

By being himself, Jin terrorized the village with his deadly curse. People were afraid of him, and all because he was himself.

Jin was a good man, and wanted to help people, but his curse rendered his life, one of solitude and isolation from the rest of the world.

Ever since Jin was born, his mother tried to protect him for as long as she could. He grew up different, and never had a normal life. He was sheltered from the rest of the world because his mother felt that something was different about him.

It was that deadly curse that rendered him abnormal. Always different, always an outsider. With it, and unintentionally, Jin hurt a lot of people, in rampages that made it hard for them to move on.

Had he just masked who he truly is, life would be easier for him. But it felt wrong to mask, and Jin was a good person at heart, despite his terrible curse.

When he grew up to become an adult, he saw his mother in the final moments before he was banished from the village for the cursed man he is.

It was then, when his mother told him:

"You have to save yourself, Jin. No one is coming to save you. No matter how many people you will help and save, no one will come to save you. Save yourself, Jin, and you will be able to survive out there, independently by yourself".

She then closed the door to her house, leaving him all alone to do as he pleases, to set on a journey and explore the world as a lone traveler, and an eternal outsider.

Jin sat alone in forests and mountains, towns and cities, and would cry. He would help the homeless by giving them food, and would counsel those in deep despair, saving them from themselves. But regardless of all the good he did, he was left alone. That's why he cried.

Because no matter the amount of help he gave to other people, no one would save him from himself, from his deadly curse which made him monstrous.

To those he helped, he was seen like a God incarnate. To the rest of human society, he was seen as a monster. And those whom he helped couldn't serve his company, because they had their own lives, and had to survive no matter the help he gave them.

Jin was left alone no matter the many people he helped.

In his isolation, Jin went insane. He rose to power over many people, whom he helped, saved several people from themselves, and even met a love interest who had it in her to accept Jin despite his monstrous curse.

It was during his rise to power over the kingdom he had built, that he realized that people are self-serving, and mainly care about their own survival-hood. That's what they are programmed to do, and Jin was merely the one who temporarily granted them this opportunity.

The kingdom wasn't sustainable, so Jin disbanded it, with everyone going their own way. Jin's love interest stayed, and was impressed with his ability to have his feet on the ground, despite his isolation-induced insanity.

And even in love, Jin cannot expect her to save him. As his wise mother said, he had to save himself from his deadly curse.

No matter where he is. No matter what he does, no matter what he chooses. His curse is one that will always be with him even longer than his love interest. If he won't save himself, no one will. It has to come from him, and only from him.

The deadly curse will always be with him for as long as he lives. He will be a monster. He will scare people by being himself. Masking his true form is the only way he can navigate much of the world, but to Jin, pretending makes him feel empty and vain, so he chooses to be honest for as long as he can, for it is honesty that makes him the good person he is, and redeems him from his terrible curse.

Jin sought to be a good man despite his curse. He deemed it the right thing to do to help people without expecting them to be there for him when he needs them the most. He must overcome his curse by his own power, every single day, as to not be consumed by it. And as hard and isolating as it is, only he must do it. Receiving help from the outside world means opening up the risk of his monstrous form to consume them. He must press forward on his journey of eternal struggle against his curse.

People wanted to get to know this curious fellow, who seems always to be on the go, but he rejected them not because he hated them, but because he wanted to spare them of his monstrous form, which could hurt them.

Jin didn't want to hurt anyone, but he knows his curse makes it easy, given his past experiences at the very village that banished him for it. Ironic, the very smiles that are directed at him could be his very own undoing. And as his wise mother said, he had to save himself. Because when these smiles turn upside down, no one would necessarily come for him and be his savior. Only he can be his own savior. It is necessary for his survival.

And so, despite his potential to forge meaningful relationships with the world, he is only left with his aloof love interest, whom, due to a terrible illness of her own, would render her lifespan far shorter than his. He would outlive her, and when she is gone, he will be fully alone like he was before he met her. She is but a temporary visitor, and that is something he has longed to accept.

And so, at nights when she went to sleep on their eternal journey across the world, he would stand guard to protect her. He isn't her savior. He is no one's savior but himself. Even those he saved from themselves; he cannot expect to be their savior. Everyone has to move on from these fragile, traumatic moments.

He stood guard as he struggled against his own monstrous curse, threatening him to consume himself from the inside. At these quiet nights where no one was there but himself, the curse was most dominant in its capability to consume him. Having vowed to always be strong, Jin fought against his curse simply because he had to. In the night when everyone is asleep and only, he is awake, he has no choice but to combat his curse, or else he would slowly grow into a deadly, psychotic monster.

There were times when the curse had won, and he turned into a hideous monster that repelled people. These people were afraid and did not want to do anything with him.

That curse has no cure. It is something to overcome and live despite its terrible influence.

That night, he was tired and gave up on guard duty, to sleep along with his love interest. The next morning, he was terrified to see that his curse had consumed her during his sleep, and now she is dead.

Screaming in despair, Jin walks the plains and mountains and fields of the world yet again, all by his lonesome. No one has saved her from himself, and no one will save him from himself either.

Saving himself from himself means other people are saved as well, and that night he failed. Had he continued to guard her, she would be safe. Yet, he let his guard down and now she is dead. That's the price he needs to pay for being too exhausted.

With his curse, he must stay vigilant. If he fails staying vigilant, the curse may consume another being. By saving himself, he saves the world by collateral.

It is his purpose, that the world is spared from his curse. Anyone who comes too near, risks being consumed. His love interest knew what she was getting herself into, and so she left the world before her disease did it for her.

It is his purpose, that such a mistake won't happen ever again, even if it means being alone for the rest of his life. With his quest for redemption ends along with his curse, Jin continues his journey, with only his mother's words as his sole companion:

"Save yourself, Jin".