My Philosophy on Being an Outsider
Updated: Jun 6
(2023 Note: Now that I compared myself to other autists, I've realized I have Asperger's Syndrome, which can be considered part of ASD, or the Autism Spectrum Disorders. I, however, am no longer sure if I am indeed an autist, even though I was diagnosed with both Asperger's and ASD. Please, take this article with a grain of salt, as I expect you to do, with any of my articles).
Whether they like it or not, some people are their own worst enemies. No matter how much they desire to be kind and appealing, society will treat them like dirt beneath their feet. They will do this, whether or not they are aware of the first sentence of this article.
Many of them are outsiders. Perhaps all of them are. An outsider is someone who doesn't belong to a particular group or community. It is important to note that belonging to a community "on paper", or officially, is not necessarily enough. To be a part of a community, one must be accepted. One must have an identity, and feel like they are a part of it.
If you are in class during recess, and the rest of your classmates play outside with little regard for you, then you are likely an outsider. It doesn't matter that you are also part of the class.
A community and a social category are not the same thing.
A social category categorizes people by stereotypes. People with glasses are a part of a social category. There isn't necessarily a community of glasses-wearers, just because there are people wearing glasses.
The same goes for a global autistic community, which I once heard exists. If you are born with autism and are diagnosed with it, it doesn't mean you are now officially a member of a global group. There may be local or smaller communities of autistic people, but don't expect these communities to necessarily be a part of a global-wide organization. Most importantly, don't expect all autists to not be outsiders in such groups.
The point I'm trying to make is that some people are outsiders by nature, and may have their own reasons to be "part" of something larger. I'm also part of communities across the internet, but I have my own interests. Just like some of you may have an interest to read this website.
Perhaps, in many cases, the most important thing is family. For many, family can be a more secure stronghold for support. There may be internal conflicts, and you may be banished from your own family. However, it's imperative to have a basic, strong base of loyalty. Loyalty with people you can trust. Loyalty with those who are willing to be discreet, as treachery is humiliating for them. Hence why I am proud to be part of the Rubinshtein Clan, and that is why I have no desire of ever changing it. I changed my first name, but the last is here to stay.
Some people are vagabonds. I'm currently friends with one, but I nowadays value discretion. They do not necessarily have homes or people for them. They may sleep in the streets, in the cold, and be woken up by gangs. I am a solitary person by nature, but it seems that vagabonds are prone to far greater solitude than I am.
People have interests, and when I say it, I refer to their own gain. They may pretend to be someone else in order to achieve their ambitions. Politics may work that way, you know. Seeking political alliances not because of friendship, but because of business. And business is unwise when it is done with personal sentiments. I have learned that since the foundation of Philosocom.
My deceased grandfather, Herman Zwi Drucker, was the biggest outsider I knew. He was a good-intentioned man, but he was too eccentric to be able to communicate normally. After his funeral was over, no one really mourned him. His last words to my mother were that she had gotten fatter. I was told that it was the last words she heard from him.
I do not remember his face anymore, because some autistic people struggle with face-recognition. Even though he called me a retard as a kid, I heard he loved me and even brought some food after I was born, to celebrate.
I am also an outsider. Life has made me, slowly, a cold and distant man. As an adult, I do not receive affection often, and when I do, it feels strange. It's not strange when it comes to my cat. It feels strange when it comes from people.
But, as the Former Secretary to the Government of India, Dr. S. K. Pachauri, said to me:
"It is gratifying to learn that inspite of so many impediments & roadblocks in your health condition, you are still driving the car of a happy life at a normal speed."
Why? Because I believe in what I am able in delivering.
I am relevant.
And so can you.
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