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The Rise and Fall of My Education; Why It Matters to You

(Philosocom's directory on education)

I consider myself an educated person. However, I do not consider myself an academic, even though I have some academic background.

That is because of two reasons: I don't like the academics, and most of my education came in more unconventional ways, mostly by myself as both teacher and student. Allow me to humor you as I explain the history of my education, and why it is relevant to this philosophy blog:

I have 13 years of public education, even though the minimum requirement for a diploma is 12 years.

I was delayed by one year merely because there was only one classroom for autistic people in the school I was transferred to, and it was the only option if I wanted to be in a class that would better educate me about interpersonal skills.

Thus, I changed being in an average classroom in favor of special education, at the cost of studying in the same grade twice.

In that middle school, which later became both middle and high school, I received special education that, as the years went by, became more and more unique to me.

In the first year, I needed to learn history once more, for a reason I don't remember, so I taught myself through the autodidactic path.

That was the first time in my life as a student where I was required to learn things on my own within the framework of public education. No teacher, no class. Just me alone and a book as my only mentor.

In my final year of school, the 13th, I was taken under the wing of a teacher who saw something special in me and prepared me for a nationwide competition that involved giving your own speeches in English. It was divided into a first round, a semi-final, and a final.

I reached the finals in the capital of my country, even though I did not score a place. It is thanks to her that I am now able to carry out my own speeches, as some of you have witnessed yourselves.

It was also during that year that I was accepted to my country's Open University, while still in high school. Back then, only two people in the institution were academic students, including myself.

Obviously, I chose philosophy as my major, and it was there that I studied 6 courses and completed 4. I eventually stopped my studies because I was very stressed, even though I was successful in them.

These courses were: The Philosophy of Morality; The Philosophy of the Mind; Anthropology; The History of the Chinese Empire (Pre-Communist); Greek Philosophy; and Anti-Heroic Literature -- in that order. The last two were abandoned when I decided to drop out.

Why have I decided to drop out? It was because of the stress I was under. I believe that, regardless of my education being beneficial, it also damaged my mental health, slowly but gradually.

I recall the version of myself I was in kindergarten, being all jolly and lacking any seriousness, but as time marched on, I became more and more gloomy and even nihilistic.

It was when I was transferred to a regular school, instead of being in special education during elementary, school that I experienced my first depression, and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a name that is technically irrelevant but is now called "High-Functioning Autism".

In order to better cope with the disorder, my parents and I decided to return once more to special education, in the hope that I would be able to better understand the world from a social standpoint.

Regardless of the years I spent in what was called a "communication class,", it seems that I failed to realize the world as a social individual.

It was in high school when I developed a special philosophy called "Solitary Individualism", but because I wrote four full books of it in Hebrew, you can't read them unless you know how to read Hebrew.

It is... one of my bigger regrets in life, purely because of the language they were written in.

As you can see, my education could be regarded as what we call in Hebrew an "Odd-bird". A mixture of autodidactic learning, private lessons, extended public education, and some academic education.

Because of said mixture, I kind of "fell between the chairs," not being able to pick certain jobs because they required a degree, which I was (and am) unable to get due to my stress.

If I were a character in a fighting video game, I would probably be picked out the least because it would be difficult to define my abilities as those of a "fighter."

Did you know? WIX, the platform for this philosophy blog, required me to pick a category for this site. However, because my expertise is so esoteric and mixed, I had to pick something that isn't very accurate: "Philosophy Professor".

I only picked it because "Philosopher" wasn't available at the time I picked it (and probably even now).

Let it be known, that despite my education and the many books I read, I can no longer read most elaborate documents because I began suffering from fatigue after I dropped out of university and after I dropped out of National Service.

This syndrome is not very well known by the professional community, at least in Israel, and likewise, there are no known ways to treat it. In other words, I can no longer read, study, or even have a job.

This philosophy blog is my "Last Resort". I can't work, so I depend on welfare to live; I can't study, so I can't advance in my academic education; I can't read, so I can't do research whenever I write. It appears that all I am left to do is write and philosophize, which is the grand purpose of my life.

This is why it matters to you, the reader, or at least why it should matter.

You might clearly see that I am educated and even intelligent to a degree, but there are things that I just can't do, even though it's not obvious at all.

People mocked me for my strange way of communicating, and people condemned me for my lack of ability to conduct research whenever I wrote something. This is why you should understand that my words should be taken as something to contemplate rather than as accurate truth.

In the end, I want you to inspire me as much as my education has inspired me. Call it "deep thinking", call it "wondering,", call it "Contemplating". I am confident that you have the idea already.

Philosophy should be written not only to be served as fact but also to inspire one to think about existence. This is why contemplation is, in a way, underrated. Contrary to research in this field, which I am incapable of doing.

Please understand that I am doing my best, despite my shortcomings, to give you a high-quality philosophy blog, free of charge.

Even basic physical actions, such as standing, walking, or doing chores, can exhaust me easily, intensively, and quickly.

Writing is an exception, and I have no idea why. As long as I am capable of writing, I will keep doing my best because the other option is...

The only education I am capable of doing relatively well is listening to videos and learning from them.

This is why I like listening to documentaries, videos, and virtual courses that are basically videos behind a paywall.

Click on "The Philosopher" section, and you will see the completion certificates of many courses that I've listened to, all stress-free because you cannot fail them.

The last thing I want someone to say about me, is that I'm lazy. Lazy physically, lazy mentally, lazy socially, or lazy when writing.

None of those are true, as I tried to prove to you in this article, and in this very philosophy blog.

All I want, ultimately, is to give my fair share to the world. I don't pretend to be right in every article I write, but I can always theorize that I could be in terms of possibility.

That is, in the end, the ambition of every honest philosopher.

By the fact that you're reading this, you have something that I don't: the ability to read extensively.

If you wish to see if my philosophical ideas are true or not "on the surface" -- you can use that ability to see what I am too disabled to see on my own merit.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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