My dearest readers,
Life has been harsh to me, but the one to blame is not only others but myself as well. Not necessarily because I hated myself, but because I was too passionate, about getting things done. I thought that, if I overworked, I would get what I wanted. But instead, it just created a cycle of unanswered whims. I thought that, if I dedicated each day to my work, I would be able to unleash my potential.
But still, no matter how much I write, death is still far away and blocked by at least half a century. Does it really matter if I write every single day? Must I do so, even though the site has become a monstrosity of content? Why must I? Why do I need to? In the end, there is already the state of "much". No matter how many articles I pour into the site and into the world, the status of "much will remain unchanged.
Imagine a stomach. It has its capacity, but imagine that it, instead, has an infinite containment ability. Should you eat, so to speak, the "minimum" of "a lot", then you've "officially" reached "a lot". You can add more if you want by eating, but eventually, there will be either "a lot" or something that is synonymous with it.
100, 200, or 300 are both a lot. But as you can see, I've reached even further and made it into the 500s. Does it matter if there will be 600s or 700s? I assure you, there will probably be more as my lifespan marches on. However, it's the first time in my life that I somehow feel truly relieved.
I'm relieved not only because I've reached "a lot", but also because I can rest and nothing bad will happen. No guilt will necessarily come, because you know why? Because I already did a lot, and the facts of the past cannot be altered, for they are indistinguishable from them. No matter in which phase of life I find myself and on which occasion, I can finally say that I did a lot, and that by itself, is enough to create the appreciation my work deserves.
When I barely wrote anything, 10 or 11 years ago, my mom said that I could write whenever I wanted in life; it did not necessarily matter in what phase of life, as long as the writing got done. And indeed, if I remember correctly, not all philosophers began philosophizing at a young age.
Schopenhauer, I believe, was at the prime of his philosophership at a late age, and perhaps some other philosophers also began their work when they were far older than I am, and they too, managed to reach the state of "much".
Therefore, regardless of what kind of content you create, when it comes to quantity, don't aim for "as much as possible" as I did, because that could take a toll on your health. Remember, to aim, for the state of "much". Once there, it will always remain that way, no matter how deep you go.
I used to believe in "militant" optimality of productivity. It means that, in order to really get a hold of your potential, write every day or two until you're basically dead or, at least, need to eat, sleep, or rejuvenate. Ironic, because that, as I realize now, is unnecessary. All you require to reach a minimum satisfactory state of optimality is the state of "much", and going beyond it will only improve it, even if it stays that way forever.
As content creators, and writers, we should all strive to write a lot, and once that lot is satisfactory enough, we should learn to accept the sweet embrace of rest. You don't have to rest for one or two days, or a dozen years. You can rest when possible and write when possible or when there is a demand to do so.
But if there is no demand for more, why would there be a demand for a rush? The demand isn't infinite either way. It doesn't have to be in the framework of your entire working life. Just a few days ago, I reached a strange state of being I'd call meta-exhaustion.
I was so exhausted, I didn't know what to do, and it's all because I was so eager to write. I was so eager to accomplish my, quote-on-quote, "villainous" ambition against Ms. Chen, whom I view as my nemesis, for calling me irrelevant.
Well, you know what? She might come to her senses, and for that to happen, I don't have to sacrifice my health for it, because who is she, in the end? A young woman who doesn't even know how to write my name correctly in our native language. As one reader told me, I need to let the tree grow, and for that, I need patience, to see the yield of my work. "Extremist" work could also be done, but is that necessary?
This is why, for the sake of my physical and mental health, I will try to write less. And the same is true of my desire to "dominate the world," like a rider does to their horse when they want it to slow its movement. What possibly could my ultimate goal do, if it would leave me shattered from torturous exhaustion? Either way will work, so why choose the harshest one?
Feel free to further and deeper browse into my articles, as I said long before, for they are the backbone of the state of "much" that is my life's legacy to the world. Think of something you're interested in and put it in the search bar, and you might find what you're looking for!
And with that, let my rest begin. And your rest, if you did either enough or more than enough, in your line of work. Please don't push yourself too hard. I want to be read by desire, not by commitment.
Until next time!