The Factors of Unhappiness And Their Solutions
- Mr. Tomasio Rubinshtein
- Jan 21, 2020
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 18

The Factors of Unhappiness And Their Solutions
Introduction
It strikes me that the common saying, "We can't find happiness within ourselves," doesn't quite ring true. It feels more accurate to ask, "Why don't we usually find happiness within ourselves?"
This question acknowledges the potential for inner happiness while recognizing that it's not always our default state. I believe I can offer some insights into this.
Why is it so difficult to consistently feel happy, beyond those fleeting special moments? Several thoughts come to mind:
We often take our blessings for granted. Think about it – the average person today might have a home, enough food, clean water, electricity, and perhaps even the companionship of a loved one. These are things that people throughout history, and even many today, would have endured immense hardship to obtain, if at all.
We are constantly surrounded by fortune, yet we become so accustomed to it that its significance fades.
We stop truly appreciating the roof over our heads, the food on our table, or the person by our side. Once these become routine, their positive impact on us diminishes, and we barely give them a second thought. Whether it's our home, our car, or our relationships, familiarity can breed a lack of appreciation.
Consequently, our daily lives, filled with so much good, can appear dull, and only drastic changes seem capable of shaking us out of this inner emptiness. I need to remind myself not to let this familiarity diminish my gratitude for what I have, including my accomplishments.
We often feel unsatisfied with what we possess. Even those who are wealthy or hold significant social or political power can fall into this trap. Despite what we have, whether through inherent traits, circumstance, or hard work, the pervasive materialism of our era can leave us feeling inadequate.
I see it like a platformer video game. We might land on a beautiful platform, but the game – representing our social lives – compels us to immediately move to the next to progress.
The "game" doesn't care if we enjoy the current scenery. We're driven by a mission, a sense of constant striving until we complete the level. And even then, a new level begins, with the primary satisfaction being the progress itself.
A more fulfilling "game," in my opinion, would teach us to savor what we already have. We should make a conscious effort to look around ourselves, not just at our screens. For satisfaction, we should focus more on what I've earned and achieved, rather than solely on future gains. Finding a balance between appreciating our current reality and striving for growth can crucial to our overall wellbeing.
We tend to treat time as something to kill, not to use. Even during leisure time, boredom can creep in. We've been conditioned, even in our education, to always be "doing" something. This creates an assumption that free time must be "spent" as if it were a finite resource. We often turn to TVs, computers, and smartphones simply to pass the time. The act of "killing time" can even become associated with fun.
We can easily watch our free days vanish from morning till evening through these activities. We might lose sight of the value of simply being, of doing nothing. I think this perception of time and fun can be counterproductive, potentially leading to feelings of worthlessness or that we "have no life," as is often said online.
Viewing free time as something to be eliminated rather than utilized can make us feel like our personal lives lack meaning, contributing to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Instead of mindlessly consuming entertainment, we should prioritize activities that provide a sense of purpose.
Writing, for example, gives me that feeling, and when I feel productive, I feel happier. I can take my own experience as an example here. Contributing to others brings me a deeper sense of joy than simply filling empty hours. Perhaps you can apply this to your own respective lives, as well.
Our perception of routine can work against our desire for contentment. This feels like a particularly direct and relevant factor. Who decided that we always need to disrupt our routine to feel happy? Is routine inherently negative, or always a threat to our overall satisfaction? Is routine always dull and colorless? Do we constantly need something extra, something different, to feel content? Perhaps the constant exposure to novelty and temptation makes monotony feel unbearable.
While this perception is common, I struggle to see its benefit in a world largely structured around routines. I believe that cultivating a healthy routine can actually lead to greater happiness than constantly seeking disruption. No matter how much we try to diversify our days, a certain level of routine is necessary for productivity. Instead, perhaps we should explore how to make my routines more fulfilling.
Conclusion
I believe that our general lack of consistent happiness in this era is partly due to our own perspectives. It's not about inherent flaws, but rather how we perceive and interact with our lives. Our tendency to take blessings for granted, our constant striving for more, our habit of "killing" time instead of using it meaningfully, and our negative view of routine can all contribute to this feeling.
Just as our perceptions can contribute to dissatisfaction, they also hold the potential for change. The quest for happiness, for me, involves understanding how I, as an individual, can adjust my own perceptions. The same approach you can adopt as well.
Perception is a choice, and I believe it can significantly influence my mental state. It's not that the world is inherently grey, but that we can sometimes choose to see it that way, consciously or unconsciously. The effort to shift our perspective, even if challenging, can be a worthwhile endeavor.
And to do that, we need to look inward, practice introspection, and identify what within our own mindset deserves to be changed.
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