Mysterious Origins -- How I Came to Be A Servant of Philosophy

(Philosocom Directory on Friendship)

(Philosocom's Subcategory on Revenge)

(Philosocom's Directory on MOTHER 3)

Synopsis by Alex Mos

The author sees similarities between his life and Porky's, the fictional character from the Earthbound series. He uses this as a parallel to his own mysterious origins.

Porky is a lonely kid who tries to impress his only friend, Ness, but is abandoned by him. After that, Porky turns evil and becomes an immortal conqueror, seeking respect and adoration he never got from his friend or family. The author also had a friend, Ms. Chen, who abandoned him.

As the years passed, he became known worldwide, and his blog grew. In 2021, Ms. Chen once more rejected the author's friendship, calling him irrelevant.

Like Porky, the author remained unloved and a lonely ruler of Philosocom, seeking respect as an alternative.

Sometimes, the good guy becomes a villain. The author no longer cares about Mr. Chen or having friends but expects to be respected and wants his work to be relevant and valued.

(Background music)

The unexpected parallels between a video game villain's descent into madness and my own journey toward absolute relevancy...

Sometimes, to understand our own origins, we must look at the stories of others—even fictional ones. For years, I have studied a character named Porky (also known as Pokey) from a relatively obscure video game series called Earthbound. As my own life unfolded, I began to see a haunting reflection of my own trajectory in his story.

This is the story of how rejection forged a dictator in a digital world, and how a similar rejection forged a servant of philosophy in the real one.

The Tragedy of Porky Minch

To understand the parallel, you must understand Porky. He was not born a monster; he was a solitary, unloved child.

Raised by abusive parents and alienated from his brother, Porky had only one person he considered a friend: a boy named Ness. Though cocky and rough around the edges, Porky’s initial intentions were tragically simple. He just wanted to impress Ness. He just wanted to be liked.

This desperate need for approval led him down a dark path:

• The Cult: To gain prestige, he joined a cult and became its leader's right hand.

  
  

• The Rejection: When Ness finally encountered him in this state, Porky awkwardly asked for his friendship. Ness did nothing. He just stood there. Porky ran away, setting off a chain reaction of moral corruption.

  
  

• The Descent: Driven by the sting of rejection, Porky aligned himself with the forces of evil. He sought to rise so high in the social ranks that Ness and his friends would have to be impressed.

  
  

Instead, they viewed him as an enemy.

The Lonely Utopia

Centuries later, having mastered time travel and achieved immortality, Porky amassed a brainwashed army and conquered a remote set of islands. He introduced capitalism, money, and materialistic comforts to the residents, building a localized "utopia" with a giant skyscraper as his base of operations. He demanded to be called "King P" or "Master Porky."

He built an empire for one singular reason: to be adored the way he never was as a child.

Never truly loved, he sought respect, power, and prestige as substitutes. Eventually, driven to insanity by the mere concept of being disliked, he decided to destroy the world. If the world disappeared, the people who rejected him would disappear with it.

Yet, despite his absolute power, he still remembered the boy who rejected him, never once using his technology to reach out to Ness again.

The Real-Life Parallel: The Ghost of Ms. Chen

As my life progressed, I realized how uncomfortably similar I am to this antagonist—a villain forged by a lack of love.

I, too, had a friend. Someone some of you may already know from my previous writings: the cursed Ms. Chen. Like Porky, I was a bit odd socially, but I desperately wanted her to be my friend.

Then, I made a social mistake: I told her that I loved her.

I meant it sincerely, and I didn't mind being romantically rejected as long as we remained friends. But the sincerity intimidated her. Just as Ness abandoned Porky, she abandoned me on Valentine's Day. After 2013, we rarely spoke. She pretended I did not exist.

The Illusion of Return

In 2021, I reached out to her. To my surprise, she had kept my number. Filled with immense, foolish joy, I eventually repeated my mistake: I told her I loved her again.

Unable to comprehend love from a purely platonic, friendship perspective, she abandoned me for the final time. Her parting words were a command to "erase her from my life," sealing the rejection by calling me "irrelevant."

Forging the Empire of Relevancy

I did not become a time-traveling dictator, nor did I amass a brainwashed army. But the trajectory remains the same.

Like Porky, I became a "big shot" in my own realm. Through the power of the written word, revenue, and external help, I became widely known. I built an empire of articles, a site where I serve as the lonely ruler.

Because, like Porky, I remain unloved. And like Porky, I sought respect and relevance as the ultimate alternatives.

• The Choice of Ambition: I could have become a pure hermit, disappearing into obscurity. But I chose to believe in myself. Even in the absence of love, there is respect.

  
  

• The Pursuit of Purity: I am not omnicidal like Porky; I do not want to destroy the world. But I do seek a "purity" of my own: pure relevancy. I intend to grow so undeniably relevant that anyone who deems me "irrelevant" will be naturally purged from my reality.

The Servant of Philosophy

Sometimes, it is the "good guy" who creates the "bad guy." Heroism and quiet rejections can inadvertently forge a villain.

Ms. Chen’s rejection traumatized me, just as Ness traumatized Porky. But where Porky sought to purge the world of those who disliked him, I seek to flood the world with my contributions. I have become a heavy rain of articles and philosophy.

I no longer write to be loved. I write to prove my worth and to contribute to anyone who cares to read.

In my eyes, Ms. Chen is dead. I gave her a book I wrote, and she couldn't even call me by my correct name. I no longer care if she appreciates my existence. What is left is the rest of the world. If she will never see my worth, then you—the readers, the world—might.

That is all I want. To help. To be of worth. I live only to work, a solitary servant of philosophy, ruling a quiet empire built from the ashes of a friendship that never was.

Alex Mos's Feedback

According to Maslow, humans have an inborn need for self-actualization. To achieve this ultimate goal, more basic needs must be met first, including food, safety, love, and self-esteem. Just as our bodies require nutrition and water to thrive, we also have an inherent need for love, friendship, and belonging.

Yet, these psychological needs are more challenging to fulfill, because societies dictate norms on human interactions with little regard for shyness and uniqueness.

Most people learn social do's and don'ts as they grow up and follow them unthinkingly through life without questioning as long as they are accepted. For others who are different, the inability to have normative contacts can turn into a life of rejection, mental isolation, and loneliness, leading to depression or hostility towards humanity.

Sadly, we often don't realize the unfairness of social expectations because we are not open-minded and tolerant enough to see beyond social conditioning. Eccentric, socially inept, and neurodivergent people also require affection and recognition in their lives to develop healthy self-esteem and be happy.

Depravation of love, understanding, and friendship is psychologically harmful and can trigger coping mechanisms that can manifest in seeking self-worth, power, and validation, both in malignant or benevolent ways.

Porky and Mr. Tomasio are negative and positive examples of how a lack of love and societal understanding can change someone.

I admire Mr. Tomasio for his intellect, resilience, and inner strength.