But No Bubble Was Created -- In Defence of Escapism
Updated: Feb 8
(Note: Written in 2021)
Much to the irony of my life, my first ever word was expressed at a late age when I was shooing pigeons for my amusement at a small park. The word I said was "Bu-ah" or "Bubble" in English. Although I disagree with the concept of a predetermined universe, the word I said was like a hinting clue for what my life is going to be -- a self-enforced bubble of isolation through which I communicate with the world. Noteworthy to mention, I don't know why I said that word, nor why it was specifically my first word.
During what I call the "Metropolitan Era" of my life, 22 years of my currently 23 years of living, I suffered much because of my autism-originated hypersensitivity. The only solution anyone offered me was simple: create in my mind a "bubble" around myself that would block out the anguishing simulation of the external world. All in all, as the worker lives to their next paycheck, I lived to the next scream I either listened to or produced myself as a result of a meltdown. Whether they were the screams of teachers, students, babies, or neighbors -- every single attempt at creating a "bubble" around me was met with impracticality and failure.
There was no alternative in the uncaring metropolis when you are hypersensitive to sound. No one is convinced enough to respect your special needs whether they recognize your distress or not. As the screams resumed throughout my life, I began to become mentally ill, thus developing the mental disorder known as General Anxiety Disorder, which haunts me to this day and makes the attainment of long-term peacefulness often difficult.
The reason why I like being an adult is because I was finally able to find the solution to my long-life problem. There is no need to sit quietly and suffer the screams when you can get away from the inhumane, toxic facility that is the metropolis. People told me that escapism is not good, that it is, so-to-speak, "for pussies". They didn't say that specifically; they used the more delicate variant: "cotton wool". To this day I loathe that word, for it is a result of severe misunderstanding, as 22 years of anguish, caused by constant screams, is far from a "pussy" or "cotton wool" experience.
Now, at 23, I realize that because I cannot change the world around me, I should have indeed found another place to be in -- to attain a life that is truly "bubble" like, in terms of protecting me from the screams of other human beings. You might not fully understand me when I say that humans are screaming beings, perhaps because you did not have the same intensive sensory experience as I did, but I understand nonetheless, and will, nonetheless, claim that the more people there are in a specific region, the more screams there would be, even if these screams are "justified" like the crying of a baby.
From all of this you can learn this: escaping shouldn't always be condemned when it can bring you the relief you are looking for. Even if it means sacrificing certain things, a most important priority should be having a good, pleasant life, where you can finally be at the ease that you deserve. Find your own "bubble", even if it is not permanent, and at least for a bit, be at peace. Stress, after all, is more toxic and harmful than you think, as it is capable of shortening your lifespan, hurting your muscles and head, and even leading to a mental illness you could have for life.
And yet, think about this: the world today is full of stress. Because of that, I care little for the world beyond the necessities and beyond my self-given role as a philosopher. Perhaps some of that stress is inevitable, but how much of it, actually is? Should you have enough courage (and perhaps, resources, notably money), you too can take the risk and start a more-relaxed life elsewhere more peaceful. My new neighbors used to be impressed with the fact that I moved so far from where I lived all my life; for the sake of my new "bubble" of an apartment in a quiet street, I've yet to see the reason why I should return to my former hometown.
