As an autistic person, things take time to sink in completely. The most recent realization I had is that I am no longer relevant to a certain woman who I gave 8 years of my life to, on and off. I was never that important to her, was I?
From such experience, I have learned the following:
Don't waste your time on those who will see you as disposable, no matter how much you feel attached to them. The longer the time, the harder the realization's impact will be.
Know your worth, or your self-image will be disproportionate to your potential and the things you deserve. It will also make it clearer to you, to know what you can and what you cannot.
That woman... she indirectly took 8 years of my life, some of my most difficult years. Because of her lack of appreciation, I decided once more to give up on the misery of attaining true love. I asked 2 other women out and got declined. That is enough for me. These 8 years might never return, but I won't let them repeat and waste my time over the inevitable demise towards solitude.
With that out of the way, little will stop me from turning Philosocom into an empire. Having realized that, this saga is officially behind me. I don't know if such dedication is worthy on anyone. Either way, I will see it that it shall not repeat itself... over a momentary, fluid emotion. True love... I don't know if it's worth it, any longer.
Un, grate, un, grate, ful, ful ness.
Regardless of what I've done,
Frustrating as a summer's sun.
Regardless of all the dedication
I have given to you throughout the whole situation.
You have never paid me back, not a thank you, not anything.
To think I've wasted so much of my life on someone,
That, doesn't, even, seem, to care..
That without regret tells you that you are too irrelevant.
All due to one's honesty.
To ho, nes, ho nes, ho-nes, ty.
You don't seem to understand,
Or at least care at all.
The darkest years in my life
Were in your incompetent absence.
To think I altered my whole life,
Due to a single misinterpretation.
Countless opportunities out there,
Will not return.
You never truly appreciated all the things,
I have done gratefully to you.
Now, you even
Render me too unimportant.
Even though I am a philosopher,
Whose being read, whose being read by the daily hundreds from the countries of..
INDIA, GREAT BRITAIN, GERMANY ISRAEL, JAPAN, FINLAND, NIGERIA CANADA, RUSSIA, HONG KONG, MELESYA, S. KOREA, THE UNITED STATES!
I care no more about the unexperienced potential, which might as well cause me another decade of anguish.. Is it truly worth it? The pain, the great deal of instability, of uncertainty?
I now think there are more important things in life, than to be loved.