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The Eggman Principle -- When Eternal Failure is Inevitable

Updated: Jul 12

 A fired rocket

(For more on Dr. Eggman, click here)

Have you ever woken up in the morning after long years of craving something to be attained, but the obstacles that you cannot get rid of always overcome your endeavors towards said craving? You were very powerful, successful, attractive, and so on, but the goal has never been attained no matter how hard you've tried and endured? This is what I like to call the Eggman Principle: no matter how hard you try, you will not succeed at your mission, whatever it may be.

The term that I'd like to coin here was taken from both fiction and real life. It's called "Eggman" because of the genius, yet incompetent villain that is Dr. Eggman from the Sonic the Hedgehog video game series, which I grew up with. Even as a child, the concept of a maniacal dictator-scientist with armies of robots, airships, and doomsday devices sounded ridiculous to me, as they all, in the end, failed to overcome a simple, fast hedgehog humanoid.

Regardless of his endeavors and power, unmatched throughout the world, he failed to conquer it, like he always wanted, because Sonic would always foil his plans, whether alone or with a small company of friends. Without this hedgehog in the way, this villain would have taken over the world a long time ago. Of course, there were instances where he managed, but these were never permanent, and his empire would collapse easily and in a fun, video-game-like manner.

Some of us are "Eggmen"; people who always try to do something but fail at it. Perhaps you succeed at times, but as long as you don't try to make it endure for a long enough time for it to become a common reality, there is always a chance of you always going back to the state of being you were in in the first place.

Believe it or not, I am a sort of an "Eggman" myself, because there is a certain person I know, who I've been wanting to be with for around 8 years as of writing this article, and regardless of my improvement as a person and of the achievements I made throughout the years, that person does not want me as their partner. I've been told a lot of times to just give up, that she's not worth all the suffering I had as a result of communicating with her in our high school years, and yet, there is a certain fire in me that makes me want that person, no matter how much time passes on.

I'm a rational person; logic would dictate that there are much more suitable women for me that do not need so much of my energies being spent on, in order to "conquer" them. However, that person, whom I love so much? It might sound dumb, but I've never seen someone so beautiful as her. She is the most cat-like person I've ever seen. My desire to "conquer" her is probably as strong as Eggman's desire to conquer the world, and create a life of utopia in his own image.

(2023 Note: I am rational enough, however, to not "conquer" her, when she's married. I am a rational philosopher, what did you expect? This isn't a game.)

Being an "Eggman", there is also another element in this term I wish to coin: this principle applies only when the person rarely, if at all, gives up on their ambition for success, no matter how much the odds are against them. Literally countless of Eggman's creations and facilities were destroyed by Sonic, it's not even funny. If robots had the capacity to emote (some had, actually), Sonic would've been deemed a bit more villainous than otherwise.

He even had countless versions of a Death Star-like space station called the "Death Egg", that were taken down mercilessly. Economically-wise, he sure had lost a lot of resources in his feeble attempts at world domination. And yet, he doesn't stop trying, doesn't stop believing, because at least in this case, he is nothing without his empire-building visions. This is how determined you have to be in order to be considered an "Eggman".

Will that beautiful woman ever be mine? I don't know, because I doubt that she has ever loved me. And yet, such beauty I have never seen in any other female, regardless of her changing appearances throughout the years. What I do know, however, is that I want her, to be mine, and I, to be hers. You may find it surprising, but I actually abstained from romantic/sexual relationships from 2014/15 up to this year, to the point of calling myself "Tomasio the Monk".

Why? Because I thought I could manage without women. I thought I was not an "Eggman", and that this person is of little significance to me once they disappeared from my life. Much of my early philosophical writings go with the premise that you don't actually need romantic relationships in order to be a happy, satisfied individual; that society is only necessary to the basic extent; that in terms of love one can be self-sufficient in most if not all aspects once one becomes an adult, and so on.

I don't need that person. They are unnecessary to my life, just as Eggman doesn't need to rule the world in order to have a decent territory of his own to control and no more. And still, whenever I see her picture, I am certain that I want her, and for that reason alone, I will not hide the fact that I love her, both for her beauty and kind-hearted attitude.

(For those wondering -- I will not expose her name, but I will tell you that she doesn't read my articles because she struggles with English. My words might as well never come to her ears, but remember that this is all just an example for this term I wish to become a used thing, along with the fictional example as written in this article. Please don't inquire too much on this matter, thank you.)

In conclusion, there are 2 solutions to overcome this principle:

* Either permanently give up.

* Resume your endeavors until you die and/or appoint a successor to do the endeavoring for you once you are dead. If you are to give up, make sure you're doing this honestly, i.e. that you're genuinely retiring and not willing to ever return.

Since existence is uncertain, temptations may come and go as they try to lure you in back into being an "Eggman", the one who works their way to victory but fails. You might come back from time to time and try succeeding, which is basically the middle ground, but it is a compromise in an endeavor that did not succeed anyways, so why choose the middle ground when it significantly lowers the efficiency of your attempts?

The other solution is to, quote unquote, "turn to the Dark Side" and embrace your Eggman-hood, and actually like the fact that you keep on trying, despite failing. You may ignore the fact that you're a failure in regards to this specific goal, but at least you will enjoy the deeds and/or planning themselves, no matter how unsuccessful they ended up being.

It can be compared to a game that you cannot win in, but still try and get a decent high-score. The character of the game didn't kill all the enemies? Who cares, at least I killed plenty of them and had a good time!

As for myself, whether or not I actually get this lady, at least I am content with the fact that I'm not denying my feelings for her any longer.

My feelings for her ended when she called me irrelevant.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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