Love As a Choice -- The Relations Between Love and Discipline

(Philosocom's Directory of Choice and Decision)

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Most of us think that love is a mere emotion, but what happens when that emotion fades? All we're left with is the choice of whether to stay or go away.

Love is not only an emotion but also a choice that we make every day. Love, from that perspective, requires dedication, consistency, loyalty and self-discipline. When times are hard, it also requires bravery.

Love, once more, proves that it has to do with virtue more than it has to do with the mere excitement of falling in love. When you fall in love, you are in the process of being grounded into reality. That reality is love.

Falling in love isn't really or necessarily true love, because we, more often than not, fall in love with a version of a person we have in our minds. It's not necessarily the person that exist beyond the veil of our mind. That person is clouded with heavy, affiliation bias of love and roses.

Falling in love stops when we are disillusioned from the version we had towards the person in question. We are then confronted with the question: Should we stay, or should we go away?

When the emotion of love doesn't exist anymore, that exists is the choice of loving the person in front of us. Love, then, is not only a choice, but an action, a verb. And, to love the same person without change requires much self-discipline and strength that, unfortunately, not everyone has.

This is why commitment plays a role in love. It's because our emotions aren't consistent -- but our choices can be. And to choose the same person to love, every single day, requires a great deal of commitment.

The love ends when we stop having the discipline to press forward. Loving a person is like going to the gym, it's not always easy, and requires the discipline to do it occasionally.

Make sure you're prepared to love the right person, because not everyone is worthy of such dedication. You could choose to love a certain person, only for them to dismiss you and break your heart. Not everyone is worthy of the commitment of love you're putting in.

Thus, if to have discipline, then have discipline for a man or woman that would make you happy and satisfied, those who would make you want to improve yourself in the name of that relationship with them.

Choose the wrong person, and you might be wasting your precious time and energies for them. Love, in the end, is a choice we make, and we should make sure the choice we make is a wise one.

As such, we shouldn't always listen to our hearts. We should employ reason before choosing to love someone. Because, loving someone is not always reasonable, and the cost of that love might not necessarily be worth the effort.

Why? Because love is also an investment we make. Of our time, of our resources. We need to make sure the person we are loving is the right one for us. Otherwise, what is the point of choosing to love him or her?