A Philosopher's Melancholy
Updated: Feb 23
(Based on the Chilean song's melody, "Mi General, Augusto Pinochet". Nothing in this poem is associated with the mentioned individual in the original song, AKA, the Chilean dictator).
The philosopher, Tomasio Rubinshtein.
You feel that there is no hope, no ambition for the following:
A hug and a pat on the head,
Someone more than a cat to be loving!
Loneliness, became your best friend,
In this distant mountain of the dead!
You want to show her, you want to show her,
That you can, go along, without her.
You want to prove to her, you want to prove to her,
That, of solitude, you are the master.
The philosopher, Tomasio Rubinshtein,
Spending most of your life in front of a lone screen,
With little interaction coming in your way,
Thinking how much left there is, to live, there is to stay!
You have ascended, into a cold machine,
Whilst being very warm is a cringeworthy sin!
You want to show her, as she requested,
To be independent of her, until you're dead.
You want to show her, as she demanded,
That love is quite a thing to be condemned.
The philosopher, Tomasio Rubinshtein,
Few people know your name,
Despite your will, to conquer the world, your aim.
To make her see that your irrelevance is not of what she claims.
Grains of sadness, fill your torso,
As you write and write, forever, and more!
"I will show her, yes I will show her,
That I am, indeed relevant, that I am indeed relevant.
I will show her, yes, I will show her,
That I'm as enduring, as cement."
But will it come true; will your plot ever succeed?
Who really knows? The one that this site will succeed?
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NOTE: As I mentioned before, I forgave her for the misery she inflicted on me. However, this is not about some petty revenge; it's about showing her that even people with disabilities, and/or people who are less desired, wanted, or "successful" in life, can still leave a mark on this unfair world, and show others the errors in their assumptions about others.
I chose to continue to live monastically and coldly, based on the experiences I had with her, because I want to utilize this way of life until the end, and become a greater writer than I otherwise would have been. She was a harsh teacher, without her even being aware of it. Now, it is my time, my chance, to prove her wrong, through a remaining lifetime of harsh solitude.
I may enjoy being alone, but I wish to master it, even when it bites me back. I will transform the disadvantage into an advantage, for the whole world to enjoy for years to come! I no longer care if she acknowledges her effect on my life; she is not relevant now. The sacrifice, to be recognized throughout mankind, is the only thing that is relevant to me now!
No longer will I escape into the warm hands and words of others. Pain has become an opportunity, not a liability. Therefore, I do not plan to break my years-long solitude or abstinence from women. I am a godless monk, chasing only optimal productivity and its potential exposure to the world. I no longer care much if I suffer, as long as I can turn it into something greater than itself.
