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On Patronisers

Updated: Feb 20

A burning ship.

The type of people I will be referring to in this article are not those who support projects financially, but rather those who believe that they have the authority to order others around. I have met such people throughout my career as a writer.

People who think that they have the unwritten permission to tell me what to do, what to write, what words to pick, and what words not to pick, all because they seek pleasure from people who don't owe anything to them.

Some people fail to recognize that the world does not work that way; that such authority permission does not exist; and that other people are not obligated to satisfy them simply because they created something that caused them, the patronizers, any kind of discomfort. It isn't to say that patronizers are forbidden to patronize on public forums... Only doing so isn't necessarily reasonable.

Due to this "justification" that exists in their imagination, some of them think they have the right to harass others; to make them suffer; to make them angry and cry.

I am already aware of the fact that this world isn't made for the sensitive or for people to have unproportionate emotional reactions to things others see as commonplace. However, I am indeed sensitive, and I found that I can do nothing with it; it's genetic, psychological, and the like... I am, however, open to the possibility that I may be wrong about it.

This is why I despise patronizers more than others, who would dismiss them as "NPCs" or as insignificant as "video game characters."

Nonetheless, it is frustrating to see people who think they should harass me just because my writings have made them uncomfortable. There may be a misunderstanding between the writer and the reader. It may be causing the latter to believe they have the right to torment the former, or at the very least, order them around as if they were their employees, or worse, as their minions.

I believe that authority should only be formal when there is actual justification and a framework for it to occur. Like a boss to an employee, a teacher to a student, and so on. As a reader, telling me what I should and shouldn't write is completely informal.

If you dislike my writings, I won't force you to like them, and if you wish to leave, I won't force you to stay. That is called being considerate of others, even when their desires go against your interests. In the end, there are things that are beyond your and my control, and I don't pretend to have the authority to command anyone around.

It is still astounding to me that some people are not aware of the term "live and let live". Perhaps these kinds of people have a desire to show authority over others so they will have a better experience in life? I don't know.

And the thing is, as a writer or as a content creator in general, I can't please every single person who reads my material. I have realized that, even when I keep a neutral and inoffensive tone, some people are still going to get triggered. Get annoyed or even enraged, even though I have no intention whatsoever to lead them to that state.

I'm a peaceful person; I seek peace and serenity, and therefore I live largely in isolation, with the internet being my only source of communication with people who aren't my family or service providers. Despite that, I somehow still manage to enrage people over the most innocent of things. It is quite bizarre to me, to be honest, because I am autistic.

I eventually gave up hope on trying to satisfy everyone because it seems that this endeavor will always be impossible, or at least, not completely possible. I once triggered someone by writing that I hoped I helped the readers by writing an article. That person wrote to me, unsuspecting: "Who do you think you are?" Who am I for merely wanting to contribute to this world as well? Really? Please write down what I think is part of the job description.

What "broke the camel's back" for me was when I recently received hate mail for saying I am addicted to coffee. Apparently, that is triggering as well! Nothing in that article was written to annoy people, and yet that guy was enraged as well (or so it seemed) – all because I wrote an article about my coffee experience.

Some patronizers think that their own triggering gives them the legitimacy to harass those who have no ill will; to ask them, in my case, to avoid coffee for at least two days, just to see if I am indeed an addict. Finally, no one has the legitimacy to order me around, just as no one has the legitimacy to order me around. You may do it, sure, but it does not cancel its illegitimacy.

Live and let live. Why must this be so hard, to the point that some people won't hesitate to bring me to anger, to tears, to a panic attack? It's more than just criticism; I accept any criticism as long as it is inoffensive.

What I refuse to accept, however, is people with no authority over me, believing they have that authority. You are not my boss, and I'm not your employee; you are not my pimp, and I'm not your prostitute! It shouldn't be difficult to understand that there are things that are beyond one's control!

Ultimately, some people will always find a reason to "cry", so to speak; to whine about things that bother them and blame others for it, as if the latter's duty is to give them all the pleasure they ever want.

Philosophy doesn't work that way; it doesn't exist to please others or to make them adore the writer. Thus, it would only be logical that, some people are going to be pissed, regardless of what I do, or what I write.

And if it wasn't clear enough, then yes, even this very article has no ill-will towards anyone, including the people I wrote about here. All I want in life is to live peacefully and to write; these two goals are legitimate and lack any offense towards anyone or anything. You can say whatever you want, but don't expect me to follow your commands.

I'm not your minion, and you're not my overlord, and vice versa. We are all equals here; on this site and on the internet in general. The fact that this is my domain does not mean that I am better than anyone else, and I intend to ban people only if I believe I have a good enough reason to do so.

I just want to live in peace, not rest in peace... for the time being.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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