A Simple Philosophy For Life
Updated: Apr 21
Here is something I've been thinking about for quite a while:
You don’t have to bring kids.
In Judaism, there is a principle called "Pru UrVu", which means that, in order to expand one’s people, their members must make families of their own, have their children make families, and so on.
Because of this, it has become the norm to marry and reproduce, whether you like it or not. That is because many people are inclined to believe that they must marry and have children, whether they make good partners or good parents. That’s true not only in Judaism but also in other religions, influenced by Judaism.
Truth be told, not everyone is fit to be a parent. It is a skill of its own that not everyone has, and in return, it only inflicts the children with either a flaw or trauma.
Even to this day, some people are not aware that hitting your child is bad, or that any physical abuse is being inflicted upon them. They are not aware of the possible trauma that might follow, or a mental illness that might result.
I myself believe firmly that I won’t make a good parent because I am very sensitive to noise. I’m not a violent person at all, but I wouldn’t want to make myself miserable just because it was written in some scripture that I "must" reproduce. I think I’ll do my non-existent children a favor by not bringing them into this world. If there was an alternative, to actually asking their permission, I would do so without hesitation.
I just want to live alone. It’s the only state where I can get closer to true serenity, true happiness. I lived a large portion of my life in a traditional neighborhood full of little kids, and most of them cried non-stop. I listened to the anger, frustration, and despair of the parents around me. I do not wish to repeat that misery in my own life as well.
I lived in that cursed neighborhood for over a decade, so I also listened to these kids grow, and their noisemaking turned from crying, to verbal yells, and crying. Living there so much, I couldn't help but think: Are children truly happy in that phase of their lives as humans? All I've seen are small humans making some noise, then crying, then repeating.
Bringing a child into this world, is pretty much a forceful thing you're doing, because they did not ask to be born; no one does, from the happiest to the saddest. It will only be in due time when these kids will ask themselves whether or not they regret coming into this world without their own permission. It is something you are not involved with, because it's their own lives, not yours. Nonetheless, a time may come when, you might outlive them...
I myself had a happy childhood, but I don't wish to be a kid ever again. In fact, if it weren't for philosophy, I might as well wish I was never born. My childhood, while happy, was also filled with useless cries, from both myself and others. Raising a child is hard for many, no matter how much you love them, and vice versa.
Some people think, illogically, that your "soul" descends from the heavens into the body that has been born. I see no reason for that to happen, as it is redundant. If you are already born, what need is there for an additional layer to be added? The brain already exists, and with enough development and nutrition, you'll become a grown man or woman regardless of this supposed "descension".
As for myself, I have no recollection of being born into a life I did not want to live. My first years as a kid were difficult, though, because of all the noise that I had endured for most of my life. It was no wonder that, at times, I wished to end it all, simply because I could, in theory, earn some quietness in death. If I were an independent, external "soul", I would not have wished to be descended into this specific life, into this dysfunctional, disability-walking being that is me.
I could've, in any moment, "descend" myself into a far stronger, far-worthier body; one that won't care about noise; one that would be less prone to stress and anxiety; one that would not be terrified of babies, yells, and balloons.
And yet, due to the hand I've been dealt by "descending", I feel a deep commitment to get out of the house, as little as possible, and not experience any feature of life to the fullest. I'm too sensitive, too noise-hating; too exhausted. If given the choice, I'd choose different parents, not because I hate or disrespect them, but because my genetics could've been better; not ones of generations of psychological disorders!
I don't care if I'm told that I'm tall, that I'm good-looking, or that I'm smart. I, will, not, bring, another, genetically defective being, to, this, world. What if they ultimately wish to kill themselves? How, as a parent, am I supposed to feel about that?
What if they turn into criminals? What if they disrespect me even though I brought them to life? They may come through me, but I cannot dictate the entirety of their lives. Ultimately, you create something that will eventually not be yours.
Therefore, I would probably not feel guilty, or regret not bringing kids into this world. Perhaps if I had a better hand, I would've considered it more seriously. I don't want to inflict it on other things they have no control over, such as certain genes. This is why I think I won't be a good father, no matter how hard I try to satisfy my children's wants and needs. I am sorry.
Beyond this site, my existence is too dysfunctional, to function, to live fully, on this Earth.