A Question, Unanswered (a Poem)

A Question, Unanswered (a Poem)



Website visitors,


Even though I was never in an actual relationship, I did have some sort of a "saga" with a young woman when we were students. However, although I loved her, she has explicitly rejected my love to her.


Regardless, in our final interaction, which was intended to be the final one, she wished the both of us to have a "beautiful life". Being on the spectrum, I have no idea, even as a philosopher, what the term "beautiful life" actually means, as it seem to indicate a specific, yet abstract, way of life. As to the content of that lifestyle, I have no clue about it whatsoever, even though to some of you it may seem fairly obvious.


Since I can't ask her this question anymore, because we disconnected permanently, I am left with a relative frustration, probably not ever knowing what does it mean to lead a "beautiful life", so instead of letting it increasing my anxiety, I decided to write a poem about it, for your entertainment.


Perhaps you'll be able to explain to me what she meant, so enjoy. The poem's pace and composition was made in correlation to the famous song, "Moskau", by Dschinghis Khan, so listening to that song's instrumental will imporve your immersion while reading this poem.


In the depths of the fog

Lies a distant woman,

Whose name I will not confess,

Like a password when you log.


She told me once,

"Have a beautiful life, you should;

"Not only to you, but to me as well",

What have she meant?


There's probably no chance, to return and inquire,

Despite my strong desire,

To expand my intellectual empire;

Despite this question being as hot as fire…


O, what, O, what,

What did you mean,

Re-connecting again would be a sin,

Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh sigh.

O, why, O, why

Why do you want me,

To have a "beautiful life",

Why, why, why why, why.

O, what, O, what,

What did you mean,

Re-connecting again would be a sin,

Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh sigh.

O, why, O, why

Why do you want me,

To have a "beautiful life",

Why, why, why why, why.


My choice of living,

Is quite unorthodox,

A semi-hermit in a concrete box,

Writing and keeping.


Can that description fit,

Whatever you inferred?

I ask that as I sit,

In fruitless contemplation.


Perhaps I will never get to know,

The philosophical concept you advocated,

Given that you want me in your world, ever and now,

To be permanently eliminated.


O, what, O, what,

What did you mean,

Re-connecting again would be a sin,

Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh sigh.

O, why, O, why

Why do you want me,

To have a "beautiful life",

Why, why, why why, why.

O, what…

What did you mean,

Re-connecting again would be a sin,

Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh sigh.

O, why….

Why do you want me,

To have a "beautiful life",

Why, why, why why, why.


(A very long break here, with series of sighs)


Why do I have to be your antagonist,

The one being the threat to you, the protagonist,

In a saga that has long been over?

But I will ask again, nonetheless, with all my power!


O, what, O, what,

What did you mean,

Re-connecting again would be a sin,

Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh sigh.

O, why, O, why

Why do you want me,

To have a "beautiful life",

Why, why, why why, why.

O, what, O, what,

What did you mean,

Re-connecting again would be a sin,

Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh sigh.

O, why, O, why

Why do you want me,

To have a "beautiful life",

Why, why, why why, why.


Sigh!


********************


Do you have a clue as to what she meant? Please contact me and let me know if you'd like you share your interpretation with me. Let us not forget, after all, that the question "What is a life that has been well-lived", or a "beautiful life" to be specific, is a philosophical one, so there won't necessarily be a specific, universally-correct answer to it.

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© 2019 Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosopher