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A Guide to Long-Term Singlehood

Updated: Sep 16

The "Secret" to Happily Staying Single

The secret to happily staying single lies in actualizing your potential to be as self-sufficient as possible, until the point that there is no need for a romantic partner to fulfill your needs.

This is really that simple, at least in terms of understanding.

Executing this insight requires time, effort, and determination. We don't really need a significant other in our lives when we can have ourselves, and since we always have ourselves, there is no actual need for a significant other. The need for love, affection, and sex can be fulfilled autonomously, or at least through non-romantic ways.

What I recommend for those who seek independence are the following:

  • Create a mindset that produces feelings of self-love. Find time to actualize your merits and improve them, for they can help you to love being within your own skin. Develop self-confidence and improve anything that you don't like about yourself and can be changed. An actualized love, even if directed inwards, is a result of satisfaction.

  • Find ways to be happy and fulfilled on your own. This could involve pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends and family, or simply enjoying your own company.

  • Be comfortable with your own independence. Don't feel like you need to be in a relationship to be happy or complete.

How to Stay Happy and Content While Single

There are many ways to stay happy and content while single. Here are a few tips:

  • Develop physical strength. This could involve lifting weights, doing yoga, or any other form of exercise that builds muscle. The stronger you are, the more you'll be able to hug yourself, which can help to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.

  • Masturbate regularly. This is a healthy way to fulfill your sexual desires without the need for a partner. It can also help to reduce stress and anxiety.

  • Spend time with friends and family. Social interaction is important for everyone, but it's especially important for singles. Make an effort to see your friends and family regularly, even if it's just for a quick coffee or phone call.

  • Develop hobbies and interests. Having something to focus on outside of work or school can help to keep you busy and engaged. Find activities that you enjoy and make time for them in your schedule.

  • Learn to be comfortable with your own company. It's okay to spend time alone. In fact, it can be very beneficial. Use this time to relax, recharge, and get to know yourself better.

If you can follow these tips, you'll be well on your way to staying happy and content while single.

Additional tips:

  • Get a pet. Pets can provide companionship and love, and they can help to reduce stress and anxiety.

  • Volunteer your time. Helping others can give you a sense of purpose and make you feel good about yourself.

  • Travel. Seeing new places and experiencing new cultures can help you to broaden your horizons and learn more about yourself.

  • Take care of yourself. Make sure to eat healthy, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. Taking care of your physical and mental health will help you to feel your best.

The Benefits of Self-Sufficiency

Those who are more self-sufficient are usually stronger than others as individuals, even if not as collectives. Having more responsibilities requires more effort, and more effort can make you stronger as an individual, whether physically or mentally. Those who claim that this is masochistic should regard the benefit self-sufficiency can in general give to you later in life, when you could possibly be more solitary either by choice or by circumstances.

All couples are prone to separation, with the ultimate separation being death itself. And thus, many that were separated by the death of their loved one, regardless of the death's cause, can find themselves in complete shock when they find themselves alone without the significant other they have relied upon for many years, making their death a potentially major reason to hinder their day-to-day functioning, not only their mental functioning. This is what happens when you depend yourself too much on others, to the point your capacity for self-sufficiency decreases significantly.

I'm not saying that romantic relationships are evil; I'm simply pointing their flaws, with one of them being one's increasing loss of autonomy and control over their lives, even if the relationship brings great joy and purposefulness to both partners.

By focusing much of your attention on thoughts about romance as something that is missed when you don't have one, you subconsciously increase your lack of satisfaction of your current state, which in turn can arouse within you feelings of negativity. Romance is not a need. Rather, it is a result of socialization that teaches us that it is. This is why people that have been single for an extensive period of time are majorly perceived as miserable, depressed people, even if they're actually happy and satisfied with their lives.

It's time to stop questioning constructs of socialization, and begin to see many ideas that are perceived as truths, through the eyes of doubt. This is the work of a serious philosopher, and this is what lead me to decide to remain happily single, even though I've always been.

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Tomasio A. Rubinshtein, Philosocom's Founder & Writer

I am a philosopher from Israel, author of several books in 2 languages, and Quora's Top Writer of the year 2018. I'm also a semi-hermit who has decided to dedicate his life to writing and sharing my articles across the globe. Several podcasts on me, as well as a radio interview, have been made since my career as a writer. More information about me can be found here.

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