23rd Birthday Contemplations (2020) (Philosocom's Subcategory Directory On Birthdays)

(The Directory on Birthdays

https://www.philosocom.com/post/the-problem-with-birthdays-and-other-events-from-an-autistic-standpoint

https://www.philosocom.com/post/the-7th-of-december-wish

https://www.philosocom.com/post/the-sad-dictator-storytime)

Today I turned 23, but to be frank I don't really care, because for me birthdays are a regular occurrence, unlike holidays, which are not, since they usually occur only annually, thus giving them their rarity. However, birthdays occur every day, so technically I am correct that a regular day is always someone's birthday, and someone's birthday always happens on a regular day, unless one is born on a worldly-irregular day, such as the 4th of July, the 31st of December, or the 1st of January, or the day before it.

Otherwise, a birthday is almost always a regular day. It is only that each day is special for a small minority of people who have happened to be born at that day, in different lengths of years ago.

Nonetheless, I can't help but to think what is left for me to experience before I leave this world. By becoming a philosopher, I feel as if I've dug up half of my grave, because philosophizing made me realize that things are not as they seem, and that includes what we see as the "full life", the lifestyle that is considered normative and of which most people have, are, and will live.

In other words, by becoming a philosopher, I've also become a metaphorical "undead", using the power of constant doubt to things we usually see as desired, such as money, academic degrees, a spouse, kids, traveling to other lands, and so forth. "The Undead Metaphor", one of my ideas, concludes that much of what life has to offer isn't worth it due to its unnecessity.

And indeed, I've "undead-ified" my life, altering the usual course of it forever, becoming a semi-hermit who largely leads an ascetic life below minimum wage (even though I'm far from poor). With not much else to experience, I either create content or consume it, and that's what my life pretty much is in a nutshell:

Creating content to be consumed, or searching content to consume. The better the content, the more benefit I and others, like you, gain.

And still, although I am content, the frustrating thing is that life is largely much before me than after me. It does not matter that I've written hundreds of articles, dozens of poems, and videos, there still appears to be a reason as to why I still remain among the living even though I've done pretty much all I've ever wanted to do, and there's nothing much to be done, either. This brings me to two conclusions: either fate exists, or it doesn't, and everything is pretty much random; a fortunate order created by undetermined chaos.

The principle of fate claims that everyone and everything has a reason, and therefore, nothing can exist without a reason that is not related to a higher cosmic plan. However, like all generalizations, it is sufficient to find at least one thing or being whose existence is not related to this plan whatsoever, in order to logically claim that fate either does not exist, or exists exclusively.

In other words, there could be a cosmic reason as to why I have not died yet, even though I believe I have done pretty much all there is, or that my existence (or anyone's existence) was not determined by a higher force, and thus the legitimacy of our lives is not determined by anyone but ourselves.

As written before, the positive thing about the concept of void is that it also creates opportunity, or freedom, to fill it with whatever we desire, hence why emptiness can logically also be seen as a positive thing. As an empty room can be filled with any furniture of our choice, so our lives can be filled with whatever and whoever we want to put in them. Therefore, the concept of determinism can be seen as negative since, if true, it limits us from having things and beings that a cosmic plan does not want us to have, and will not necessarily let us have should we desire so.

Do determinism or infinite void exist? Are we allowed to technically do whatever we want without the limitation of a cosmic plan? I don't have an answer for you, but what I can say about life is this: much if not every of the moments in our limited life are an opportunity; a potential, and potential is not to be underestimated, for it can lead to great things. This is why I have decided to be against the idea of suicide, because as long as I live, something can be done, like the creation or consumption of new content, and this is why I would take this birthday to remind myself that I am happy to be alive.

Do you about your own?